The Jigsaw
by Oracleismyname
Summary: AU. Set in two timelines, starting in 2010 when new girl Quinn arrives at McKinley with a big secret. She falls in with the Glee club and begins to attract attention from Santana who has a secret of her own. Ten years later, Rachel Berry arrives to stay for a while bringing memories of the past and a new problem for Quinn to solve. Quinntana with Faberry friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Dear reader,

If you have read any of my other stories, you would have seen that I was asked to write a Quinntana fiction. I was going to because I love writing the pair of them together, and then just got involved in other things and never actually got around to it. I was contacted a few weeks ago about my promise. I've had a few suggestions for the story over the last few months and so in the spirit of 'give the audience what they want' I decided to try and roll the ideas into one.

The timeline fluctuates backwards and forwards starting in 2010 and jumping to 2020 at times. Much of the story is told in flashbacks but I have put the timeline in at the start of each time switch so it's not too confusing.

I make no apologies for the topic in question, it wasn't my intention to feature Quinn in a similar situation again, but it seems that's what people want from me. Hopefully you find something different enough in it that I don't bore you, but if I do, please don't feel obliged to read it.

The story will unfold and all will become clear as time moves forwards.

It is AU and begins at the start of junior year for our heroines. It is likely to feature the odd curse word and probably some sexual references from time to time - but it will be tasteful.

Please feel free to send me feedback.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or the characters from the show, I'm borrowing them for artistic purposes only and I promise to give them back when I'm done.

 **The Jigsaw Puzzle**

 **Prologue**

 **July 2020, Riverside, near Stamford, Connecticut**

Rachel banged on the door quite loudly.

Santana's voice drifted through the large hallway, typically course and unapologetic. "Calm your tits, Berry. Where's the fire?"

"Santana!"

Rachel chuckled when she heard the warning tone in Quinn's voice. "Language!"

Something unintelligible in Spanish was mumbled so Rachel figured Beth was definitely nearby too.

"And we all speak Spanish so stop cussing in your mother tongue as well!"

Rachel really didn't want to be laughing at all but couldn't stop herself at Quinn's admonishment.

The door opened and Rachel jumped through, dropping her large rolling case in the hallway and grabbing hold of the taller brunette. "So great to see you," she shoved the large sunglasses back off her face and on top of her head. "But I really need to pee! Long journey, very unhygienic public bathrooms, ew!" She made an amusing gesture and waved her arms around as if that was explanation enough.

"Top of the stairs on your left," Santana waved up at the wide light oak staircase that went to the landing above. The diva had yet to visit since they moved into the new house Santana had designed. As Rachel took off running, the Latina yelled up after her. "Great to see you too Rach!" She tutted and went back into the large open plan living room where Quinn was tickling Beth and the girl was squealing as if she didn't like it, which she really did. Lanky eleven year-old legs kicked out trying to regain some footing on the floor so she could wriggle out of Quinn's arms, but the elder blonde was not letting go anytime soon, or at least not until Beth begged for mercy.

Rachel could hear the squeals and giggles as she ran up the huge staircase and as she turned the corner at the top, she glanced up at the wall beside her and stopped dead in her tracks. She saw the huge framed jigsaw puzzle of Broadway that she had given Quinn years ago, at a different time and in different circumstances. Rachel's hand immediately went to her mouth and she choked back a sob. Her heart swelled in her chest and the need for the bathroom was briefly forgotten as her mind instantly went back to their first meeting in the girls bathroom at McKinley, first week of junior year.

Pressing her fingers into her eyes to stop the tears, Rachel tried to compose herself but kept staring up at the jigsaw. Quinn wouldn't appreciate too much sentiment about it. She waved a hand in front of her face to help the tears evaporate and looked once more at the picture. The lights of Broadway and Times Square decorated the large landscape frame that was obviously custom made. It was beautiful. The sunlight from the enormous picture window picked out the relief of the jigsaw pieces that made up the scene; Times Square at night with light trails running through from the cars, all five thousand pieces perfectly arranged.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel moved on to the room she thought Santana had directed her to. Opening the large door, which perfectly matched the light oak of the staircase, she found the bathroom at last. Grateful for a few moments to compose herself, she calmed as she took care of her physical needs.

"Where's Aunt Rach?" Beth finally managed to say between gasps.

"Is she okay?" Quinn was breathing heavily herself and finally relaxed her grip so Beth could wriggle free. The girl slipped down to the floor and rolled around for a moment before jumping back up. "Calm now," Quinn opened her arms for a hug and found Beth deposited herself between them. "Can we declare a truce before your clothes get any more messy?"

The blonde head nodded.

"The diva's fine. All perfect hair and big sunglasses. She's clearly living the life." The Latina dropped down on the sofa. "She refused to use the restrooms on the train so she was about to explode. She'll be down in a minute."

Sure enough they heard Rachel's heels down the stairs so Beth ran out to greet her. Rachel was busy removing her boots in the doorway: she didn't want to ruin the beautiful wooden flooring. She hadn't seen the energetic youngster for a few months and didn't know whether to laugh or cry when the girl hugged her enthusiastically.

"Jeez, Aunt Rach. I'm bigger'n you."

Rachel's face softened. "I know lovely Beth. It's been a while. I'm really sorry." They held on to each other for a big squeeze. "Let me look at you." Rachel pushed her back a little but held onto her hands. "Gosh, you got really tall. And I love your hair like that, it's really pretty."

"Tana did it. She says it makes me look like mom when she was younger." Beth rolled her eyes. "I kind of like it though," she stage whispered.

Rachel smiled again. "Where is your mom?"

Nodding over her shoulder, Beth indicated the living room, but before they could move, Rachel heard the low rumble and squeak of Quinn moving to greet her. The door opened and the rubber of the wheels on Quinn's wheelchair could be heard turning through. Rachel's face lit up as she and her best friend caught sight of each other.

—

 **Chapter 1**

 **August 2010, Lima, Ohio**

Quinn Fabray entered the girls bathroom on her second day at William Mckinley High School. Her mom had warned her that it was nothing like her old school. Smaller school with small town mentality to boot, which Quinn hadn't quite grasped yet after her nice private school in San Fransisco where the other students were largely kind to each other and mature for their age. Quinn had always done well in school but she also knew that she was not very 'streetwise' as all evidence over the last year of her life had proved.

Shaking her head at that thought, she pushed open the bathroom door and wondered what the hell she had stepped into.

In front of one of the stalls was a younger girl, cowering as three taller girls surrounded her about to throw something at her.

Reacting on instinct Quinn ran and grabbed at one of them pulling a plastic cup down onto the floor. The mess splashed up the bare legs of the cheerleader who turned almost as purple with rage as the icy drink spreading across the floor. One of the others also had a plastic cup and Quinn saw her torn between her previous target and Quinn. She made a move but Quinn was quicker and swiped out at it, knocking the cup into the mirrors above the basins. It splattered across the room but didn't break anything.

The three girls were all now facing Quinn. They didn't recognise the girl, so there was a moment of uncertainty added to the anger.

"What the fuck! What are you doing, fucking moron."

"The three of you were about to pick on a younger kid, how am I the moron? What is this place? Seriously! Move your skinny asses out of here before I knock you into the middle of next week!"

Quinn's voice was loud and full of rage. She was slightly taller than the other girls and balled her fists up in front of them, but knew if they had the guts to attack her, she wouldn't have been able to beat them all off.

Fortunately, they didn't.

"You must be new, so you obviously don't know how things work around here. Just wait until Coach Sylvester hears about this. You'll regret interfering!"

The middle of the three beckoned the other two and they marched out arrogantly.

Turning her attention to the younger girl, Quinn saw perhaps why they were picking on her. She looked a little geeky. Straightening out her clothes, she stood more upright.

"Thank you for coming to my defence, but you really shouldn't have interfered. They will just make you a target and it won't make them leave me alone. They have been doing this for two years already."

Quinn was a little taken aback. She had expected a little gratitude not antagonism.

"Like I said, I don't like older kids picking on younger ones, especially three against one. I'll talk to the principal and have this straightened out."

"No, really. You don't want to do that. Besides, they are all sophomores and I'm a junior so strictly speaking they weren't picking on a younger kid. Throwing slushies is not deemed bullying at this school; Principal Figgins won't do anything."

"Even if I tell him as a witness?"

"You don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"They're Cheerios, they get to do whatever they want and Coach Sylvester backs them, or rather encourages them."

Quinn really didn't know what was going on. She glanced around the bathroom. It was a mess.

The other girl bent and picked up the spilled slushy from the floor and emptied it into the nearest basin before throwing the cup away.

"Don't clear up, it's not your mess."

"It's fine. I'd rather clean it up and not get into trouble."

"How come you just accept this? Why don't you fight back?" Quinn leaned up against a bit of wall that wasn't covered in grape juice.

Rachel cleaned her hands and placed paper towels over the mess on the floor. "It will only make me more of a target than I already am. It's the same for all of us in glee club. We get picked on by the jocks and the cheerleaders. They stop short of actual physical violence, but only just."

Quinn shook her head. The other girl started towards the door.

"Wait up," she stuck a hand out in front of her. "I'm Quinn Fabray. Sorry if we were in some classes together yesterday and I didn't notice you. Lots of new names and faces you know?"

Rachel shook her hand. "I was in AP Lit and Biology with you, but you were getting some attention from the boys so I didn't like to introduce myself. I'm Rachel Berry."

"Yeah, they all have one track minds but I'm really not interested in that kind of attention." Quinn smiled.

"Well, you certainly had plenty of it and I can see why," Rachel smiled for the first time.

"Thanks I guess." The tall blonde girl held open the door and they moved out into the hallway. "So you're in glee? Is that like choir with dancing?"

Rachel started into a long-winded explanation of what they did and why they were constantly teased by a number of other students. Quinn listened and it occurred to her that Rachel would seem to be perfectly happy in a conversation with no one else to talk to. God the girl could talk.

"So what else happens around here?"

The shorter girl looked up at her with a curious expression. "This is Lima, Ohio. Nothing else happens around here."

"Okay," Quinn nodded. "But you must have friends you hang out with and stuff. What do you do for fun?"

"I like to put on shows at home and perform for my fathers. I have two gay dads."

"That gives you two more than me then," Quinn responded and then realised she had given something away.

"What do you mean?" Rachel looked confused once more.

"Nothing, ignore me. I just meant that two dads must be great. I only have one so…."

It wasn't the exact truth, even if stopped short of being a total lie. She did have a father; he just refused to look at her, speak to her or meet with her.

"Where are you originally from?" Rachel asked as they made their way to the lockers. "You have a west coast accent if I'm not mistaken."

"Good guess, but I am actually from Lima originally; we moved to San Fransisco when I was three. We just moved back here to be closer to my mom's family." Again not strictly a lie, but not the entire truth.

Rachel stopped at her locker. "Well it was nice to talk to you, but you probably don't want to be seen talking with me in the hallway, so I'll see you around maybe."

Quinn looked confused this time. "I think it's up to me who I choose to talk to, Rachel. I don't let other people choose my friends for me and as I'm really not interested in the group of boys who were hitting on me all day yesterday, that pretty much makes you the only person at McKinley whose name I remember." The blonde glanced into Rachel's locker and grinned at it. She made her ambitions quite clear. The big picture of her and her boyfriend being one and the other a sticker with 'broadway bound' that had glittery stars stuck on it for additional decoration. She grinned. "You're really not subtle are you?"

Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear and grinned back. "I am perfectly at ease with my determination to make it to Broadway and become a successful performer. Whilst singing is my forte, I am almost as accomplished in acting and dance, though I am better at ballet than modern or tap."

Quinn grinned at her again. God the girl was driven.

"What do you want to be?"

"Absolutely no idea for certain. There are things I like but I'm not set on any one thing right now." Quinn shrugged herself off the bank of lockers.

"What do you like?" Rachel seemed genuinely interested.

"Music, art, photography, design, philosphy, literature, science," the girl shrugged. Actually, there's not much I don't like."

"Except boys and cheerleaders?"

"I don't hate boys, I just don't want to date any of them. They're children still at our age. And I have nothing against jocks and cheerleaders, but I really hate bullies."

"You do?"

"I used to be a target myself, middle school, before I got taller. I was geeky, short sighted and had a serious overbite. Plus I was chubby; you might as well have painted a target on my back."

"Really? I can't imagine that. You're really pretty."

Quinn blushed. "Thanks, but I was a bit of an ugly duckling and I hated the way other kids used that. That's why I jumped in just now."

Rachel nodded. "I didn't really say thank you properly." She closed her locker. "I am very grateful that I didn't have to spend time changing into spare clothes, so thank you."

Quinn nodded and graciously accepted the thanks. "No problem. What do you have next?"

"Statistics," Rachel groaned.

"I have drawing so I guess I'll see you later. Maybe you can save me a space on your table at lunch?"

Rachel looked as if she had just grown two inches. "Of course. I'll introduce you to my friends."

"Cool," Quinn turned to look for her own locker and started to walk away before she realised she was going in the wrong direction. "Oops," she spun and started walking the opposite way. "I'll find my way eventually."

Rachel suddenly thought about something Quinn had said. "Wait!"

Quinn paused by her locker and saw Rachel hurrying towards her as she pulled out her sketch pad and other art supplies.

"I forgot to ask you about music. You said you like it. Do you play an instrument or something?"

"Guitar," Quinn nodded. "Plus I guess I can sing a bit too." She was better than that but too modest to admit it.

"Really? You should try out for glee club then. We always need new members."

Quinn shrugged. "I'm not sure I'm good enough, plus I don't know if I can spare the time."

"We don't rehearse too much; I for instance am involved in twelve extra-curricular activities in school as well as some out of school so if I can find the time, I am sure you can."

Rachel really had no idea, but Quinn wasn't ready to set her straight just yet. "I'll think about it, okay?"

Rachel realised she was putting pressure on the other girl, so backed off. "Of course. See you at lunch."

—

Quinn spent her time in Spanish thinking about glee because the teacher mentioned it at the start of his lesson as well. She glanced across at another cheerleader, but she wasn't one of those from earlier. The girl looked hispanic and seemed to have an attitude problem because she kept rolling her eyes at the teacher.

She had sent her mom a text message to ask if she thought it was okay to sign up for one extra-curricular activity. It wasn't as though she was asking to be out late every night, but still she knew it meant extra work for her mom and she already felt guilty enough about that. Quinn had already turned their lives upside down enough without adding to it further, so if her mom said no, she wouldn't argue about it.

—

"I see you're still dressing like a bit part actress from some prep school horror movie," Santana had her hands on her hips and her usual bitch face on as Rachel stood in front of the glee club for their first rehearsal.

"Santana, whilst like Voltaire, I will defend your right to use freedom of speech, do you really need to be so aggressive before I even say anything."

The Latina rolled her eyes in disapproval for about the hundredth time that day. "I have rage, sorry."

Rachel was about to continue with a pep talk for the club after their failure to progress beyond regionals in last years show choir competition, when a tall, willowy figure knocked on the door and entered the room. She was wearing skinny jeans and a white shirt tucked in at the waist. She had a broad khaki belt around her hips with camouflage print and the word 'animal' printed around it several times in bright pink. Her sneakers squeaked on the floor as she walked further into the room and grinned at Rachel.

"I found the right place then. This is glee club right?"

Rachel nodded and returned the smile. "Hi Quinn."

The rest of the room suddenly sat up and paid attention. Rachel had been chatting to the new girl all week, whilst the rest had simply followed around after her with their tongue's hanging out like dogs on heat. Mercedes had spoken to her in their Shakespeare class, mostly because Mercedes didn't really understand most of what was going on in The Merchant of Venice and Quinn seemed fairly au fait with it. Puck and Mike turned to each other and fist bumped mouthing the word 'awesome' to each other as Quinn waved at them all.

"Rachel suggested I come along." Quinn didn't say much more but waited to be told what to do.

"Why don't you take a seat Quinn," Mr Schue pointed at a chair on the front row.

"Wait a minute Mr Schue," the Latina spoke up. "I thought everyone had to audition first to get into glee." Santana had heard from some of the younger cheerleaders about the failed attempt to slushy Rachel and though she no longer engaged in unprovoked petty acts of bullying herself, she wasn't keen on anyone messing with her team mates.

"Well that's true, but it can wait a day or so I think. Let's allow Quinn to see how things work around here and she can choose something appropriate to perform later in the week."

"I can sing something now if you like, sir." She looked around the room and saw what she needed. "Can I borrow a guitar?"

Mr Schue looked at Sam and the boy jumped up and brought it over. "Here, you can borrow mine. It's tuned up regular in case you want something else."

Quinn grabbed her seat and pulled it out in front of them all.

Rachel walked back towards her. "You can wait if you like. Ignore Santana, she's always feisty."

"It's fine, Rachel." She took the guitar from Sam and draped the strap over her shoulders before sitting down. Placing her fingers on the fret board, she had to think carefully for a moment. It was tuned for a right handed player and she was left handed so it was a little awkward but she had played upside down several times before. She just created a mirror image in her mind and it didn't seem so difficult.

"Sorry if I hit a bum note with the guitar, I'm left handed." She strummed it quietly, playing each of the chords she needed for the song just to get them into her head the opposite way around.

Sam had just sat down, but stood briefly. "I can play for you if you need. What are you going to sing?"

She waved him back down. "It's okay, I'm used to having to flip it the other way."

Quinn started to strum the intro, humming alongside the chords as most of the group instantly recognised the modern classic. As soon as she started to sing properly, the rest of the group were rapt as the smooth alto emerged from Quinn's throat.

 _Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road_

 _Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go_

 _So make the best of this test, and don't ask why_

 _It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

 _It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_

 _I hope you had the time of your life._

 _So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind_

 _Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time_

 _Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial_

 _For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

 _It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_

 _I hope you had the time of your life._

 _It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_

 _I hope you had the time of your life._

 _It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,_

 _I hope you had the time of your life._

Personality clashes aside, the club gave her a standing ovation at the end, except for the kid in the wheelchair who Quinn hadn't seen before, but even he looked happy at the performance.

Sam came over and collected his guitar. "That was awesome, but seriously, you're left handed?"

Quinn shrugged. "I can play either way around. I was always a bit confused about whether I was right or left handed, so….." she shrugged modestly.

"Alright, that's a great start to the year. Quinn welcome to glee club." Mr Schuester went to the board and wrote up the lesson for the week. The word 'harmony' appeared in black letters. "I want all of you to work in pairs and produce something this week in harmony. It's not a love song duet I'm after, it's just about finding someone to work with a getting the correct song and blend of two voices together. So choose your partner and get something together for Thursday. We'll perform in the auditorium."

The teacher went on to talk more about harmony and the musical theory behind it but Quinn already knew so she just let her mind wander to who she would like to work with. She could feel the boys already start to line themselves up and she thought carefully about it. Puck was too badass and she didn't need any more of that in her life. Finn was clearly into Rachel, they were sat holding hands together, so that meant he was probably off the market. Artie seemed to be looking at Tina, but she was definitely all eyes for Mike, who she knew from Chemistry class. She kind of felt sorry for the wheelchair kid, he was a dorky looking dude.

At the end of the session, after they had collectively practiced some harmonies, they started to pair off. Quinn glanced over at the kid in the chair and nodded at him. He rolled over to her and glanced up.

"So you have a great voice," she stuffed her hands in her pockets. "Do you fancy working with me on this?"

Artie looked a little shocked to say the least.

"Er, did you just ask me if I fancy you, I mean fancy working with you?" the Freudian slip made him blush.

Quinn chuckled. "Sure, if you want."

"Absolutely," he showed off his huge grin and looked triumphantly over at Tina who Quinn guessed may have been the object of Artie's affections at some point in the past.

Puck ran his hand through the mohawk and dropped down to the floor from the back row. "Listen Artie, I really like you, but you need to work with someone your own age and leave us juniors to work together."

The arrogance was faintly amusing and Quinn quirked her eyebrows at him. "Thanks for the offer, but Artie already said yes, so another time maybe." Quinn turned her back on the older boy and picked up her school bag leaving Puck to lick his wounds and find another singing partner.

So there it is, just a start.

Please let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Something was definitely off about the new girl. Santana's Mexican third eye was telling her something was not quite right.

Lots of things about her were right of course. She could actually sing, so it wasn't that. Plus she did actually seem to like Berry, which as twisted as that seemed, was not naivety, but in fact free choice. She made it clear she thought Puck was an ass-hat, which of course he was, so she had impeccable judgement and she was actually okay with Artie and Mercedes, so neither racist nor ableist, if that was even a word. Still, something wasn't quite right and it bugged the shit out of her that she didn't know because normally she did.

Santana wanted to talk to her alone and so she followed her into the girls bathroom one recess for a heart-to-heart. Quinn, it appeared actually seemed to want to use the bathroom for its intended purpose unlike fifty percent of girls who just went in because their friends were going in and thirty percent of those were just going to fix their makeup.

Santana waited for the blonde to finish by freshening up at the basins.

Quinn emerged and walked over. "Hey Santana." She nodded into the mirror.

"Hey," the Latina replied. She was about to suggest Quinn join her and Brit at the Lima Bean after school but before she could, the door opened and three of her team mates from the Cheerios walked in.

Quinn looked up and spun around immediately. She instantly recognised the three girls and the plastic cups they held in their hands.

"So this is how it's going to be," Quinn sighed. She glanced at Santana who seemed to be maintaining a diplomatic silence and avoiding any possible eye contact. Quinn's brow furrowed slightly.

"We warned you what would happen." The middle one again. Did the three of them actually come joined at the hip?

"Are you like interchangeable if one of you breaks or something? Oh, no. I just realised. You have to do everything together because you all share the same solitary brain cell and it's impossible to think or do anything independently without the other two attached."

Santana actually laughed and then met the hard stare of the middle one.

"I had to throw away my favourite pair of gym shoes after the last time. That's totally your fault and you need to pay for that."

"I'd offer to reimburse you, but I know you don't actually buy them because Coach Sue does everything for you guys. Does she wipe your asses for you too, or are you actually able to do that unsupervised?" Quinn was on a roll.

"You are totally going to pay for that, smart ass." The one on the left spoke up.

Quinn looked at Santana. "Aren't you going to do something about this?"

Santana looked at the blonde. "None of my business."

Quinn shook her head. "I thought _you_ were the team captain _and they're sophomores!_ "

Santana was well aware of her status and the tightrope she walked between glee on one side and cheerleading on the other. Ever since Coach Sylvester had declared war on the glee club, she'd had to maintain her neutrality or suffer the consequences.

The lack of response angered the blonde.

"So this image of you being a heartless bitch and walking around like you own the place is completely fake? You're really going to let this happen? You're going to forsake the responsibility of being captain in order to be popular with a bunch of children who have nothing better to do than try to intimidate people?" The blonde shook her head. She turned back to the cheerleaders. "I don't give a crap what you do. You can throw that in my face but it still won't make anyone actually respect you. One day you'll be mature enough to recognise fear and respect are not the same thing and honestly, no matter what you do, I'll neither respect nor fear you. So go ahead and give it a shot, but know that if you do, one of these days, I'll catch you on your own, with no witnesses around and we'll see who really is scary then." She made a move towards the middle one who stepped back slightly.

"I'm not afraid of you either," she yelled and threw the icy drink over Quinn. It missed her face for the most part, but went down her white shirt.

One of the other two was about to throw hers, but found Santana had a grip on her wrist.

"Enough!" She growled. "You made your point."

The girl looked like she might argue, but changed her mind when she saw anger in her captain's eyes.

"Pour the other two down the basin and then get out."

They did as they were told and then left.

Santana took a handful of paper towels and held them out to the blonde who was still standing glaring at her and dripping all over the floor at the same time.

Quinn smacked her hand away. "Leave me alone."

The Latina wasn't known for her patience and would normally have flipped but something held her back from doing that.

"Fuck you," she spat out. Reaching to pick them up from the floor.

"That your idea of an olive branch?"

"I don't know what your problem is, but you started this with them. You shouldn't have interfered last week."

Quinn walked to the basin and ran some water then stripped off her shirt trying to avoid any of the mess getting on her hair. Dumping it into the sink she scrubbed her face of the sticky residue.

Santana could see the slender shape of Quinn's body as she bent over cleaning off her skin.

"At least stop anyone else coming in while I wash up." She pretty much ordered the Latina to do her bidding and for some bizarre reason, she did as she was asked and leaned against the door.

There was a bluish stain on the white bra and a purple one on the red skinny jeans.

Folding her arms across her chest, Santana tried once again to be helpful. "My mom used Vanish to get the stain out of my uniform. It works pretty well."

Quinn turned her head sideways and shook her head.

"What?" the Latina asked. "I'm being nice!"

Quinn shook her head again. "I'm still adjusting, so how the hell did you get slushied? Besides, nice would be you asserting some authority over your team mates and getting them to leave people alone when they clearly haven't done anything wrong."

"How do you know the Hobbit didn't do something to them first?"

"What? Like aggressive singing at them or something?" The sarcasm dripped off the blonde's tongue with ease. "Rachel couldn't hurt a fly, she's practically Buddhist."

"She's annoying as hell sometimes."

"Maybe to you, but that doesn't mean she should get this in the face repeatedly. How can you be such a hypocrite? You act all hard-ass one minute and then you stand there and claim to be Switzerland in the Second World War. You're a freakin' coward."

"Fuck you, Fabray," the Cheerio spat back.

"You wish," Quinn raised an eyebrow and stood up. "Don't think I haven't noticed." She walked behind and took out the T-shirt she wore for Phys Ed. "You're not really what I'd call subtle about your leering. Even Puck doesn't make it that obvious and he has the excuse of being a seventeen year old boy."

She pulled the T-shirt over her head and inspected her reflection in the mirror. "Do me a favor and don't do me any more favors, okay?" Quinn walked up to the door waiting for the dumbstruck Latina to move aside. As she did, Quinn looked her in the eye. "And stop staring at my ass for God's sake, that is unless you want everyone to know the truth."

—

Santana was careful over the next few weeks to avoid as much interaction with Quinn Fabray as possible. She especially made sure she did not look at anything other than her face. It was the only way the Latina could avoid staring at other bits of the lanky blonde's anatomy.

She spent her time instead fawning over Puck and flattering his ego to make sure no one became suspicious of anything.

Quinn found it vaguely amusing but said nothing to anyone about it. It was none of their business and she wasn't going to out someone, even if she was a cowardly bitch.

Santana was scared of being found out. Her family were strict Catholics and it would not look good for that sort of information to get back to them. She did however take each of the Cheerios to one side and tell them that Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry were off limits where slushies were concerned. She might not have done right by them, but that could be changed.

It hadn't taken long for the balance of power at McKinley to shift subtly.

Quinn wasn't sure when it began. It was perhaps when she went to watch the football game with Rachel, who obviously spent the entire game fawning about Finn, that she started to take notice of things. Santana was pretty athletic and it seemed, good at cheerleading. Quinn hadn't paid much attention to the Cheerios at first, but watching the half-time show was actually more entertaining than the football team, who were largely terrible.

—

"Quinn would you like to come over and practice the group number with Mercedes and Santana tonight? I really think that in order to perfect it, we really need to spend more time on it than is available in glee today."

Quinn looked up and met the hopeful glance of the girl who had largely become her best friend. It was a strange situation. She knew just about everything there was to know about Rachel, they were able to talk about pretty much anything at school and yet Rachel didn't know the most important things about Quinn. Every time she wanted to explain, to give her the details of what had happened to her over the last year or so, it stuck in her throat and she couldn't make the words come out.

"Sorry Rach, I have to babysit."

"You do a lot of babysitting," Rachel observed.

Quinn shrugged. "I need to give mom a break."

"What about your grandparents?"

"My Grandma looks after Beth during the day while mom works, so they need a break too."

Rachel wondered what had gone on with Quinn's family. In her mind, she had decided that Mr and Mrs Fabray must have separated around the time of the baby's birth. It spoke of scandal and the diminutive brunette had decided that Mrs Fabray, who was perfectly lovely from what she could make out, must have had some sort of affair resulting in a baby and then divorce from her husband. In her mind it was the only scenario that fitted the bits of information Quinn had revealed.

"Maybe we could come over to your house then?" Rachel suggested.

Quinn considered it for a moment, but then dismissed it as too risky. She had become so guarded about the truth that she couldn't allow the facade to slip. A pang of guilt ripped through her as she realised she had been doing exactly the same thing she accused Santana of; being a coward.

"It's not a good idea. We'd probably just keep the baby up when she should be sleeping. Another time maybe?"

Rachel briefly thought that Quinn was going to say something else for a moment, but let it slide without interrogating her.

"Okay, but you must come to my party at the weekend then. My dads have tickets to see Barry Manilow in Chicago and are going away for the weekend so we are having a shindig."

Quinn grinned. "I'll ask mom if she minds. If she doesn't I guess I could make it."

"Yay!" Rachel got really excited then and explained, in great detail all the games they were playing and the allocation of drink tickets each guest would have.

Quinn caught Santana's gaze and the horror-filled face she was making at the sound of the party. She quickly stopped after she caught the disapproving glance from the blonde though.

—


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

October 2010, Lima, Ohio

Rachel's party was already in full swing by the time Quinn arrived. She was late and everyone was already half-drunk, apart from Rachel and Santana who were both very drunk. Brit was half naked in Artie's lap and Puck was laughing about how intolerant they all are to alcohol compared to him.

Finn was cheerful enough and Kurt, who she still didn't know very well because he'd left before she really got a chance to know him, was driving, so stone cold sober. His boyfriend was another matter entirely and was having a great time dancing with Rachel.

Quinn took the beer offered by Puck and rejected the wine cooler offered by Rachel. Santana smirked at her for drinking beer and then winked as though it was some sort of secret code for something.

It all started to go wrong after Quinn's second beer and a game of spin the bottle…..

Rachel asked for a dare and had to kiss Blaine, they seemed to be laughing about it until they were actually enjoying it. Finn and Kurt both protested and pulled them apart. The bottle was spun again and landed on Quinn.

Santana wanted truth.

"How come you're always avoiding socialising with us guys?" Santana wasn't sure her question made sense. "You're always babysitting. That's totally bogus and must mean something else. Are you, like working in a strip joint or something?"

Quinn was a little woozy herself and to be honest hadn't had a drink in a while. She'd been breast feeding for a few months so had avoided it, but it was also the fact that getting drunk at a party had been the cause of all her problems in the first place.

"Shut up, Santana. I'm not boring, I jus' have…. responsibilities."

"Like what?" Finn asked as though she was making it up.

"None of your business, Finn Hudson." Quinn suspected she was slurring a little which couldn't be good. She really needed coffee to sober up some before walking home.

"It's crap, totally bullship…I mean bullshit," Santana countered. "I'm telling you, strip club! You forfeit and have to do a dare now."

"I'm not lying!" Quinn said, mad as hell at being accused of dishonesty. Then she thought about what she had in turn accused Santana of. "Kay, I wasn't telling you everything." She thought about it carefully first. "The baby is my responsibility." She blinked, her eyelids becoming a little heavy. "Because she's not my sister, Beth's my daughter." She watched, waiting for the inevitable barrage of questions that would no doubt follow.

"What the f…"

"Quinn?" Rachel interrupted Santana before she could say anything else offensive. "How can she be your child? You're not even seventeen yet."

Quinn raised her eyebrows. "Made a dumb mistake," she held her hands up and shrugged. "Got drunk at a party and agreed to something before I really knew what I was doing. I pretended like I did, so it was my own fault, but he didn't use a condom and I was too drunk to ask him. Nine months later, my dad gives me an ultimatum because I already refused to have an abortion," pausing she realised she might have sobered a little because the words are free-flowing and no longer stumbling, "give her up or get out the house."

"No!" Rachel mumbled.

"Asshole," Puck commented.

"Total fucking asshole," Santana mumbled.

"I refused and walked out with nowhere to go, but mom came after me and we went to a motel for the night. Next day she went back and confronted him, he wouldn't budge, so then we packed up and moved out. Lima was the only way to manage mom working and me going back to school."

They all sobered slightly at the story they heard.

Quinn looked around. "Sorry for putting a dampener on things," she stood and went to the bathroom. Only Rachel followed.

"I knew there was something and I thought you would tell us in your own time, but I didn't guess it was this."

Quinn bit the inside of her lip. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

Rachel shook her head. "Don't be," she smiled at Quinn a little dopily. "It must have been very hard for you."

Quinn nodded. "Still is sometimes, but better now we don't have dad around to sour everything."

Rachel thought for a moment. "You said I was lucky to have two dads when we first met. I always wondered what that meant."

Rachel reached out a hand and then found herself brought into a hug. "Thanks for being a good friend, Rachel. I would have been a little lost at McKinley without you."

—

"Shit man, never would have guessed that one. I mean, totally explains the ice queen act, dude." Puck was mouthing off to Finn.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Please shut him up. Between Puck the Fuck mouthing off and Artie getting a lap dance from my BFF, I'm gonna puke." Santana really thought she might actually throw up and it might not have anything to do with either. More the thought of Quinn having sex with a guy.

Mercedes giggled and flirted with Sam, then made the bottle spin once more. It landed on the Latina.

"Dare," Mercedes called out. "I dare you to kiss…. she looked around and found Rachel walking back in followed by a sheepish Quinn. She didn't fancy Rachel getting mad at her for suggesting she kiss Finn, Puck was too much of an ass and besides, it was no shock to see Santana kiss Puck. Artie and Brittany were dating and she wasn't going to let Sam get his lips sucked by her. That left Blaine, already been done, Kurt, totally sober so not going to happen or …..

"Quinn!" Mercedes looked at the blonde girl as she took her place back in the circle.

Quinn's brow rose curiously and she looked at the Latina who was actually blushing furiously.

"I'd rather have a truth," Santana grumbled.

"Oh please kiss Quinn," Puck begged. "I'd pay to see that happen."

"Shut up, asshole."

"Me too," Artie detached himself from Brit for a few moments.

"Shut up, McCripplepants," she countered once more.

"Oh for the love of … c'mere." Quinn reached over and put her lips on Santana's, catching them between her own at first, then dipping back in and taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

Quinn felt the other girl relax slightly and for some reason didn't pull away as she intended but rather left them there a moment longer. Both their eyes stared at the other's momentarily and then Quinn let go and sat back. "Happy now?" She grinned mischievously at Mercedes and threw Santana a wink.

The Latina was lost for words.

—

Quinn had one more beer before announcing her departure. A number of them were staying over, but she had already explained her situation so she needed to get back. Kurt didn't want Quinn to walk home and insisted he gave her a ride, which made Finn unhappy because he was desperate to spend longer with Rachel.

Finn slumped into the front seat and Quinn was just saying goodbye to Rachel when Kurt just told him to get back out.

"I'll drop Quinn and get you after," he sighed. Finn bounced back out and went inside tugging Rachel with him.

"See you Monday, Quinn," Rachel waved.

Quinn made her way out to Kurt's car but found she was being called.

She turned to find Santana stood watching her.

"What's up?"

"You. You're what's up!" Santana walked up to her. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I was dared to, in case you hadn't noticed."

"You know what I mean, Quinn. Dammit."

"Because I knew you would enjoy it," the blonde shrugged.

Santana lashed out and slapped her across the face, hard. "Fuck you," she spat as she did it.

Quinn just slapped her straight back. "We've had this discussion already."

Santana was enraged. She felt like her heart was exploding in her chest. She reached out and touched the blonde's face. "I'm sorry."

"I know," Quinn tilted her head to the side.

On instinct, the Latina closed the gap between them and pulled her into a kiss. Quinn didn't resist at first, but then slowly pushed the shorter girl back slightly.

"Not when you're drunk, okay? I made that mistake before and I got a world of trouble for it."

The Latina felt rejected at first but then remembered what had happened the last time Quinn was drunk and nodded slowly.

She watched as Quinn walked over to the car, her long legs stepped into the open door, a little wobbly truth be told, and then Kurt pulled away steadily from the driveway.

—


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kurt was watching the road but talking to Quinn as he slowed for a set of traffic lights on red.

"It was pretty brave of you to tell everyone what happened," he admitted.

"Thanks Kurt, but I should have said something sooner. I don't like deceiving people."

"You didn't, you simply kept the truth to yourself until you felt comfortable enough to let other people know."

"I think you're braver than me, probably than the rest of us added together." She texted her mom to let her know she was on her way home and then another to Rachel to thank her for the party.

He shrugged. It was perhaps a little true and he could admit that to himself.

"Maybe, but it doesn't mean it was any easier for you."

She also nodded at the truth of the situation.

"We're both superheroes then?" she quipped and he laughed.

They pulled away as the lights changed.

"Why did you kiss Santana? I wouldn't have guessed the ice queen persona could slip so easily."

A wry smile spread across Quinn's lips. "I like messing with her because she enjoys messing with everyone else, but doesn't appreciate the taste of her own medicine."

Kurt laughed again, but then the laugh died. "Don't be too hard on her. I know she seems tough but she's not really. I think its just self-preservation."

"I know it is," Quinn confirmed. "It takes one to know one, right?"

—

Quinn woke in a bit of a disoriented state. She was groggy and her head was thick. She tried to open her eyes but they just refused. It took a while to make any sense of her thoughts.

The party.

 _I only had a couple of beers over the course of about four hours. I shouldn't feel this bad_ , she ruminated.

Something bleeped and for a moment, she thought it was her alarm going off.

 _Please don't let it be time to get up yet._

Cracking open an eye, it was still dark but she panicked. This was not her room. She finally worked out she was lying on her side and tried to throw off the sheets but her arms hurt as for the first time, she attempted moving.

"Shit!" she yelped. _What had happened to me? Where am I?_ A thousand horrid thoughts ran through her brain, mostly involving being kidnapped by Puck; he was always leering at her.

 _I swear I'm never drinking again,_ she promised herself silently.

There was movement in the room. She couldn't see, but she could hear it.

"Quinn? Baby are you awake?" Her mom. Thank god. She hadn't been kidnapped. So where was she?

"Mom?" Her voice didn't even sound right. Hoarse and croaky instead of soft and velvety. And it hurt to speak.

"Oh my gosh, baby you're awake."

Suddenly her mom was sort of in her view. She got sight of her rib cage the other side of the railing. Quinn's eyes went wide as a night light came on and she could finally see some of the room.

"Hosp…" her voice sounded strangled. She tried again. "Hospital? What happened?"

"Everything's alright honey," a hand stroked her head and cupped her cheek. "I'm here and you're okay."

"Hurts," she choked out.

"I know, but the nurse will give you something. Just stay calm." Judy's hands moved to Quinn's own and she responded to her mom's gentle squeeze.

"Oh, thank God," her mom probably didn't mean to say that out loud.

Quinn raised her arm which felt heavy and saw the IV lines running into her. Reaching with the other hand she tried to pull them free in panic but found her hands being held down by her mom.

"Calm down, Quinn. Please don't try to move, you'll hurt yourself." She slowly released Quinn's hands again and brushed hair back from her face. "Ssh, baby. You're okay. I'm calling the nurse now." Her mother's voice again, though her face was hidden behind a surgical mask.

 _How long had she been out of it? Why was she here? What happened?_

The questions played over and over in her mind. The last things she remembered was…. Santana slapping her! Then she got in the car with Kurt to go home and they were driving. She didn't remember anything else really.

"Kurt?"

"He's fine, a few scratches really, sprained wrist. Nothing serious. The airbags went off so he was cushioned."

 _Airbags?_

 _Car crash._

 _Oh._

The nurse came in and referred to her as Sleeping Beauty so she must have been out for a while. Everything hurt from what she could make out. She didn't try to move again.

And then nothing.

The next time she woke, she was on her opposite side and could see some light through the blinds so it must have been early morning at a guess. She could sort of see a shape under the window which moved.

"Mom?"

"You're awake," the shape moved and became clearer as she stepped up to the bed and stroked her face once more. The warmth ran into her skin and she thought she was smiling but couldn't really tell. Everything felt a bit odd, fuzzy.

"Are you in pain?"

Quinn thought about the question and tested it out. She tried to move her body and found that pain ripped through it, even her arms moving caused pain in her chest, neck and back.

"What the hell?"

"Don't try to move, honey. Do you remember what happened?"

"No. Car crash?"

"It's okay, baby. Just rest."

The nurse came in again and called her Sunshine this time. It was better than Sleeping Beauty at least.

And then nothing.

The next time she wakes, she's lying on her back and there are voices talking quietly. Quinn opens her eyes and sees her mom stood at the end of the bed with someone in a white coat. Her mom looks tired and upset around the eyes, but is nodding her head. She can't quite make out what they are saying. Things are still fuzzy.

"Mom?"

"Hey there," the doctor, she assumes the guy is a doctor, turns and smiles. Her mom gives her a watery smile as well.

He moves around the railings and rubs a hand reassuringly along her upper arm.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Hurts," she says and closes her eyes.

"It's going to for a while. You were pretty banged up."

She moves a hand slowly to her face and collides with something hard around her neck. A momentary flash of confusion follows as she traces it with her fingers.

"Whiplash?"

The doctor looks relieved that her brains aren't scrambled. He's wearing a mask too but it's easy to see what people's eyes are saying.

"I know everything feels a little confused but they will become clearer as we keep reducing the sedatives. We kept you out for a few days to get over the worst and now you're on the mend we can wean you off them."

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

She tried to shake her head and then regretted it. "No," she croaked.

"Try not to worry, things might come back to you over the next day or so."

They weren't telling her but she didn't understand why.

"Why?" she couldn't seem to form the sentence she wanted to.

Her mom was on the other side and seemed to understand better what she was asking. "They want to see if your memory comes back on it's own, honey. It's alright if you don't remember."

"What is the last thing you do remember?" The doctor wanted to know.

"Leaving Rachel's, getting in the car with Kurt. Talking to him. He's okay?"

"Kurt is fine. Do you remember me telling you last night?" Her mom reached across again and tucked her hair behind her ear as best she could with the neck brace on.

"Yeah, I think." Quinn reached up and touched her lips, they felt dry and chapped. Her brows knitted together wondering how when she was indoors.

Noticing her mom did something and then suddenly her lips felt cooler and moist.

"Drink of water?" She croaked.

The doctor moved back in her field of vision. "We have you on IV fluids right now so no water but you can have some ice chips."

Quinn frowned in disgust at not getting what she wanted. "Why masks?" She finally got her brain to start firing.

"You had surgery, baby, three days ago."

"Surgery?" Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "What for?"

Her mom's gaze went to the doctor and he nodded confirming they could tell her.

"You suffered injuries to your spine, sweetheart. They had to shave off some bone from your hip and use it to repair the bones in your lower back and neck.

Quinn's eyes moved to her arm. Her mom had taken her right hand and lifted it slightly. She could see a white band around her wrist. A bruise ran along her forearm up to her elbow. It was purple. It had been a few days then. Probably three or four.

"What day is it?" The party was on Saturday.

"Thursday," her mom confirmed.

Five days. She had been out of it for five days.

Quinn closed her eyes briefly and heard voices mumbling again. Forcing them back open, she found her mom still holding her hand.

"You were out for few minutes, baby."

It had felt like seconds not minutes but everything was still so blurry.

"They need to take you for some tests," her mom smiled, though it appeared she was upset.

"Beth?"

"She's with grandma and grandpa. I'll call and get them to bring her over now you can have some visitors."

Quinn closed her eyes again and drifted back off for another few moments.

Wait a minute!

"What happened to my back?" She suddenly got her eyes brain and mouth to work together.

She looked at her mom but Judy's eyes closed for a moment, so the doctor spoke instead.

"Are you ready to hear the details, Quinn or would you like some more time to recover first?"

"Time? I don't understand." She tried to turn her head but frustratingly he was too far away for her to look. "Can you move so I can see you, please?"

A moment later, he appeared. He gave her a soft smile and seemed genuinely nice. It was a shame that his next words ruined her entire life.

"Just tell me what happened, please."

"Quinn you were sideswiped by the other vehicle and you fell sideways across the centre console of the car. Your head hit your friend Kurt's arm and the force of the impact and twisting motion to the side caused fractures in your spine. You have an injury in your neck at C6 and another in your back at T8."

She let the words sink in.

"The side air bags protected Kurt from the impact, but you fell away from them. The fracture in your neck has been stabilised and apart from having to wear the neck brace for a few weeks until the graft hardens, there is no residual damage to your spinal cord but the lower injury is in your thoracic spine and there's considerable damage to your spinal cord, Quinn. I'm very sorry, but you are paralysed from the bottom of your rib cage down, most likely permanently."

Quinn choked.

She hadn't been expecting total blunt honesty without sugar coating.

"You will need to keep the brace on your chest for a few weeks and then we can gradually reduce the amount of time it needs to stay on."

"Mom?"

"I'm here, baby. Don't worry. Everything will be okay."

"But I'm paralysed?" She still wasn't sure this was for real.

Her mom pulled off her mask for a moment and leaned over to kiss her daughter's forehead. "They took very good care of you, Quinn, but this type of injury apparently…." Judy ran out of words to explain. "I'm so sorry, but you'll get through this, baby. I promise. Your friends have all been calling to check how you are and the doctor says you can have visitors now. Just a few at a time."

"I want Beth," she croaked.

"You'll see her soon, baby. I promise."

Quinn cried for a while and her mom held her until she stopped. The doctor went and a nurse arrived with ice chips and instructions to take her for another MRI. Apparently she'd had one before the surgery and now they needed another, as well as X-rays to see that the surgery had been okay.

The blonde kept breaking down in tears and the staff consoled her repeatedly. The nurse who kept giving her nicknames was especially nice and helped her feel better for a while.

Her grandparents arrived with Beth an hour later and were waiting for Quinn when she arrived back from the barrage of tests and scans.

Beth was too young to even be scared about what she saw around her. The one thing the baby knew was that she missed her mommy, and on seeing her brought back into the room, her face broke into a huge smile and giggle. For Quinn, it was the only thing that felt good about life at that moment.

—


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The accident just happened without warning. Ironically, Quinn would have been better off walking home after all. Kurt couldn't help blame himself for persuading the blonde to take a ride home from him.

He sat on the orange plastic chair in the waiting room. The visitors were only allowed to go in a few at a time and her grandparents were in there already.

His dad glanced down at him and gave him a reassuring squeeze of his uninjured shoulder. The other side was badly bruised from where the seatbelt had dug into him. At least his had held him in place, unlike Quinn's. His mind kept going back to the moment of impact and whether he could have done anything different that would have resulted in no one getting injured at all, but each time, he found himself at a loss.

"Kurt!" Rachel ran into the waiting room looking slightly frantic. "She's awake? Tell me she's awake."

"She is, Rachel." He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Finn stood watching the boy who would soon be his brother by marriage and felt bad for him. The rest of them had gotten drunk, much more so than the two people who ended up hurt that night.

Rachel kissed him but went to sit with Kurt, lifting his uninjured arm and taking his hand.

"Do you think she's going to be alright?" He didn't look at his friend as he spoke.

She squeezed his hand lightly. "I hope so. At least she's conscious. Does she know yet?"

"I don't know," he looked at his dad.

"Judy didn't say," Burt responded. They were on first name terms after the hours they spent together Sunday morning in the ER waiting for the medics to deal with their children's injuries.

Burt wandered towards the sliding glass panel of Quinn's room and glanced in. He tried not to be glad that it wasn't his child, but he failed. Kurt was everything to him and his only connection to his first wife who ironically had been lost in a similar accident to the one his son had been involved in. Wearily, he ran his hand over his shaved head and sighed. He looked at the tiny girl sat on the bed beside her mother's left arm. Quinn raised it and stroked the little girls tufts of curly blonde hair. At least the teenager still had the ability to do that. It hadn't been clear on Sunday morning when the extent of her injuries had finally been revealed, if she would have use of her arms still.

"I'm not sure she knows, son, but she's moving her left arm a little. That's a real good sign I guess."

"She is?" Kurt jumped up and winced as the weight of his right arm fell back into the sling. It wasn't broken, but the bruise and swelling covered most of it, so much so, he couldn't really use his hand or elbow at all yet.

He went to the glass panel and looked inside. When he saw Quinn move her arm again, the emotion burst into his throat and he cried with joy. There had been minutes where he thought she might be dead. Waiting for the paramedics to arrive, her hair had splayed out over his thigh, his arm trapped under the weight of her head and shoulders. He didn't dare move for fear of damaging her further. He had heard the crunch of bones, not knowing if they were his or hers. It made him feel nauseous every time he thought about it.

Judy looked up at the glass and saw Kurt standing there. She spoke to Quinn's grandma and grandpa. The older couple went to Quinn and leaned in to kiss her cheek before coming to the door.

As the door made a soft hiss in opening, her grandpa stepped out first and waved him in. Kurt took a mask from the box mounted on the wall and handed it to his dad to put on for him. Rachel followed closely behind.

"Tag team," Quinn's voice was still a little hoarse. Judy gave her some more ice chips to help.

Rachel spoke first, Kurt was still trying to get a handle on his emotions and what to say.

"Quinn, it's just so good to see you awake. We've all been so worried about you this week." Rachel glanced at the baby. She hadn't seen her before.

The stricken teenager watched Rachel's eyes move from her face to Beth's,

"Say Hi Beth. This is Rachel and Kurt."

Beth looked at them and made a typical baby wave, copying the movement Quinn had made with her left hand; the right was still stuck with IV tubes and had a heavy bandage over it to keep them from being tugged out.

"Hey Beth," Rachel gave her a wave and came closer, tugging Kurt gently with her.

He stumbled numbly forwards.

"Quinn," he began to shake his head, "I don't ….I'm so sorry. I can't even…." he could say any more. He was already distressed.

Quinn's face cracked and she looked like her own tears might spill.

"Are you okay?" she asked him. "I was worried about you when mom told me what happened.

"Don't worry about me," he shook his head again, "not after what happened to you. I'm so sorry." He repeated himself again.

She tried to nod in understanding but had forgotten about her neck again and winced in agony.

Judy glanced at Kurt and realised he didn't know what to ask or say.

"Quinn knows about her injuries," the elder blonde confirmed the information for them.

Kurt looked visibly pained at that.

"Kurt, don't be sad please. I'm glad you're going to be okay. It wasn't our fault what happened."

He nodded but still felt bad. It was going to take a while to not feel bad, he knew for certain.

"Beth is gorgeous, Quinn. She looks just like you." Rachel waved again.

That at least brought a smile to the dry lips of her friend.

"Can we bring you anything?" Rachel was desperate to be useful. Sitting on the sidelines all week waiting for news had been hard for her; she was a proactive person. "Something to read? Magazines or a book maybe? Or what about some music and DVDs?"

Quinn remembered to avoid moving too much when she replied this time.

"That sounds nice, thanks. Maybe lip balm too. How is everyone else at school?"

"Worried," Kurt interrupted. "They're all worried about you."

The teenager moved her left hand out slowly to take Kurt's. He had to flip his upside down to take hers.

"I'll be okay," she gave him a small grin. "Tell everyone I'm going to be okay even though I'm going to be stuck here for a while."

"We sent everyone a text to let them know you had woken up finally." Rachel instantly spread the word. She did think a rota of visitors might be a good idea, but Finn had suggested she waited to see what Quinn said about that.

"I'll try to make sure everyone spreads out their visits so they don't all arrive at the same time," she helpfully suggested.

"Thanks, Rach. That will be nice."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah," she looked at the change in tone.

"Artie. He said I should check with you before visiting. He wants to come and see you but he's worried that you might not be ready to see him yet."

Quinn looked up and tried not to cry about the thought of Artie sitting in front of her. It was going to be like some weird reflection from now on. Was she ready for that? Maybe it would be too much too soon.

"I don't know, Rach. I only just found out today. I'm not sure I'm ready for too many visitors at all." As if on cue, she yawned lazily.

"It's okay. I'll tell him to wait a while. Shall I tell them all to wait a while?"

"Maybe check with mom tomorrow," she yawned again. "She can let you know if I'm up to seeing anyone."

"I think you need some rest sweetheart. Beth needs a change so I'll take her and get something to eat afterwards." Judy scooped up her granddaughter and squeezed her daughter's hand. "I'll send the nurse in to give you some more pain relief." She shooed the other teenagers out.

"Bye guys," she gave them a little wave and they returned it.

"Feel better," Rachel added as they headed out the door.

—

"She's sort of okay," Rachel explained the next day at school. They were all sat in the auditorium in a circle. "She was in pain and a little emotional but she didn't seem too upset considering."

"No shit, Rachel. You think you might be emotional after finding out you probably won't be able to walk again."

"Santana, stop with insults and aggression. I think we all figured out life's too short for that and Rachel is trying to be helpful here." Finn met the Latina's scowl with a look that said she should keep quiet. Fortunately, she took the hint.

"Quinn's mom stopped by the school this morning to see Principal Figgins about arranging school work. I told him that Rachel could coordinate that and make sure it was taken over to the hospital regularly. The school can photocopy class notes from those of you that share classes with Quinn." Will Schuester was keen for the glee kids to keep up with regular practice but also wanted them to visit their friend and keep her in the loop. "Quinn will go to a specialist rehab centre Columbus in two weeks and it's going to be hard on her so we all need to help keep her spirits up."

He looked around at the glum faces, each contemplating what it meant. Artie looked a little ashen and the others kept looking at him. Whether this was because they worried he would be thinking about his own misfortune or because they were thinking about Quinn in the same situation, he wasn't sure.

—

"Mrs Fabray?"

"Hello, Rachel." The older woman knew the voice instantly and didn't need to look at the caller ID.

"I was just wondering if Quinn was up to having some visitors today. Kurt would like to see her and me of course, plus Santana is keen to see her as well."

"Let me check. She's had a lot more tests again today."

Rachel heard mumbling quietly and then Judy's voice returned.

"She's tired but she would like to see you. Maybe just an hour at the most and just the three of you for today."

"Of course. We have some things for her. Does she need anything from her locker?"

"She's asking for her textbooks and the physical therapist asked for running shoes, are they in her locker?"

"I'll check and bring them if they are. Can you ask Quinn for her combination?"

Judy repeated the number back to Rachel then looked at her daughter and gave her hand a quick squeeze of reassurance.

Rachel walked slowly to Quinn's locker and started filling a spare book bag with the texts and folders that the blonde had stored. She also pulled out the kit bag and took out the running shoes at first, but then put them back in and just took the whole bag.

"This is total crap," Santana moved around the open locker door and threw herself back, slamming into the metal doors and causing a loud bang in the hallway.

Rachel glanced at her and gave her a sad smile. "For once, you and I are in total agreement. In fact, I would like you to declare a truce between us for the time being. We might not always agree but I think we can be mature enough to be civil to each other. We are all on Quinn's side after all."

"Whatever. Do you want a ride?" Santana picked up the book bag and slung it over her shoulder.

"Thank you," Rachel nodded. "Perhaps we can call at the Lima Bean and I could get you a latte to go in return."

"Okay," the Latina led the shorter girl out to her car and opened the back, throwing the books in. "How come you don't drive?" Santana knew it wasn't money that prevented it.

"Oh, I don't really need to drive and once I move to New York I will use the subway."

"So how were you planning to get to the hospital today?"

"Er, I would have taken the bus with Kurt if no one else had been going."

"Where's Kurt? I told him to meet us here."

Rachel thought about her friend and his damaged arm and the wrecked car sat in the pound waiting for the Police and insurance to finish their investigations.

"I'm sure he'll be here any minute. His dad is dropping him."

It was another few minutes before Kurt emerged from Burt's pick-up looking paler than either girl had seen him before. He had lost his shiny exterior gloss that seemed to always be present. His Dalton blazer was fitted on one side but draped loosely over his injured arm.

"Do you think he's taking care of himself?" Santana asked quietly.

"I think he's just getting by right now. I suppose its a little difficult with his arm banged up."

The Latina got out and opened the door for him and he flashed a grateful smile. "Rachel is treating us both to lattes on the way."

—

Quinn was both comfortable and yet uncomfortable at the same time. She wasn't in any pain and yet she was desperate to move around. She felt like an animal trapped in a vice somewhere around her midriff.

She couldn't help but keep touching her body around the edges of the plastic brace she wore around her torso. It stretched from the base of her hips up to the top of her chest, just above her breasts. It was made from some sort of plastic and was moulded around her body like a glove. She wondered when they had fitted it to her, it couldn't be the sort of thing that came one-size-fits-all. It encased her body and fastened down the sides with big velcro straps over her ribs. Above the brace her skin felt normal, but somewhere about halfway down, it stopped feeling normal and when she felt below, her skin felt like someone else's, not her own.

Her arms seemed fine, but apparently, she shouldn't take that for granted and try to remove the neck brace. They had screwed her neck back together, or something like that anyway. She wondered if that was what it was actually like in the OR when they operated; some sort of perverted tool shed with drills and hammers to glue you back together.

The door whooshed open and Rachel came in first bringing the things she asked for. There was no sign of infection in any of the wounds, so they only had to wear gowns and not masks now. The plastic of the gown rustled and Quinn tried to turn her head to see Rachel walk in. The gown was probably too long for her, but the brace stopped too much movement and she gave up. She did know it was Rachel thought, because the moment the girl entered she was talking.

"Hi Quinn, how are you today? Your mom said you might be feeling tired after a lot of tests."

Quinn wanted to be honest and say that she was a giant mess and panicking like crazy, but instead she took as deep a breath as she could and sighed.

"I'm okay," she lied. "Just a little weary from being poked and prodded all day."

The teenager was still laid in bed, her upper body slightly raised so she could see. It was six days since the fateful accident and they wanted her out of bed as soon as possible, but without risking her health. She was okay slightly raised for a short while but the blood pressure cuff was a permanent fixture around her arm and they monitored it every 30 minutes when she wasn't lying down.

Rachel continued talking. "I brought everything you asked for and some other things as well, just in case. Would you like me to arrange them so you can reach?" She looked around as Santana finally pulled Kurt in the room, it had taken him a while to get a gown over his arm and the Latina had helped him tie it off.

Quinn tried to turn her head a little to see them, but winced as the pain ran through her neck.

Santana dropped the book bag and gulped. She hadn't quite known what to expect, but it hadn't been this. "Shit, Q."

The blonde gave her a watery smile. "Hi guys. How are you?"

"What the …. what do you mean 'how are we? You're insane. What did they do to you?" Santana looked at the area around the bed and immediately went into full on anger mode.

"I'm okay," the blonde sighed and let her head lean back into the pillows piled up around her.

"You're really not okay," Santana countered. "But if telling yourself that helps you get through this, then I guess I can't argue with that." She was by the bed looking over her friend.

"Yeah, you can't argue with me now I'm a crip," Quinn gave a husky chuckle.

Santana's face melted a little at the words. "Don't you dare make me cry. Not in front of Berry." She glanced around to find her glee club teammate organising books and the other stuff they brought. "She's alphabetising your magazines." The Latina thumbed over her shoulder.

Kurt approached.

"Are you feeling better than yesterday?"

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "At least physically anyway." She bit her lip. "They said I was doing amazingly well considering. I think I'm going to be out of bed tomorrow and maybe out of ICU the following day if I can cope to sit in a wheelchair for a couple of hours."

"That is amazing considering you were unconscious the day before yesterday." Kurt gave her arm a squeeze. It was stretched out with pillows tucked around her body so she didn't move too much.

"This thing on my body is driving me nuts though," she lifted a hand and rapped her knuckles on the plastic around her chest.

Santana took in the state of the room and her friend. Quinn's bed was like something out of a sci-fi movie with buttons and remotes. She had the rails up either side of the bed so there was no possibility of rolling out. The pillows behind her head supported both her head and upper body and more were under her arms and down either side of her ribs. The cast covered the gown, which in turn covered her body. It was made from plastic and had some kind of flowery pattern on it.

"The flowers are going as soon as I get the chance. Mom picked this. What was she thinking?"

They all laughed at the blonde's response. "If they don't give me a new one, I'm going to take a can of spray paint to it."

Lower down, the gown poked out and covered the blonde's legs almost to the knee. There was a small gap and then the white surgical stockings covered her lower legs and feet, as did some weird looking things with tubes stuck out the bottom and were attached to a control box at the foot of the bed. They kept twitching and there was a small hissing every few seconds as they inflated and then went down again.

"What's this for?" Santana asked pointing down to the cuffs on Quinn's lower legs.

"Stop blood clots I think," the skin between her eyebrows puckered as she tried to recall what everything was. "Everything is so gross." It was the first real complaint they had heard from her.

Santana continued to let her eyes roam. She could see the rubber tube running under the gown and at the other end connecting to the oval bag hung on the side of the bed. It didn't take much of an imagination to work out what it was.

"How come you have to pee in a bag? Is it because you can't get up to the bathroom yet?"

Quinn looked upset momentarily and flushed. "I can't pee on my own anymore. I told you everything was gross. Apparently I'll probably have this for a few weeks and then they can teach me how to use one when I need to go instead of being plumbed in permanently."

They all fell quiet for a few moments. Rachel came to the rescue.

"Are they letting you eat again?" She noticed the IV seemed to still be connected but there was a jug of water beside her on the nightstand and some leftover fruit on a dish.

"Yeah, just bland stuff though. I got some soft fruit and yoghurt to try now I can sit up a bit."

"Can we bring you some food then? Hospital food is terrible."

"You don't need to feed me Rachel," Quinn chuckled then regretted it as pain shot through her neck. She moved her hand to her head as if that would help to make it hurt less.

The other three teenagers looked worried briefly but found a nurse on her way in a few moments later.

"Everything okay, sunshine?"

"Yeah, just hurts to laugh."

"You want to lie on your side for a while? It's almost time to turn you anyway."

"Can I get some pain meds first?"

"I'll give you some now and then come back to turn you in ten minutes." She took a dose from her pocket and injected it into the IV. "It should kick in pretty quickly. Might make you feel nauseous though." She placed the puke bowl down by Quinn's right hand and patted it.

"Push the button if you throw up," she smiled and headed towards the door.

"I'm going to stop calling you Nurse Ratched if you keep being nice to me!" Quinn called after her, her voice much stronger than it had been the day before.

"Do you feel okay? Your mom said we shouldn't stay too long." Kurt looked concerned. "We can go if you want?"

"No, don't go. I'm okay, Kurt. I'd just be bored and lying here feeling sorry for myself. Can you get me some water?"

Rachel was on it in an instant and held the glass out towards Quinn's hand. The paler hand reached tentatively for the beaker.

"Don't let go," the blonde sought some assistance. "I might drop it." She tried to pull her arm up towards her mouth, but her neck once again protested and she stopped moving.

Rachel kept her hand on the beaker. "It's okay, let me." Quinn released it and let her friend put the drink to her lips.

Quinn sipped from the cup a few times and then relaxed letting the painkiller to do its work.

The three teenagers around the bed went quiet when the nurse and a nurse's aide came back in.

"Time to turn you, Quinn."

They moved her friends out of the way and lowered the bed. Quinn couldn't really see what was going on for a bit as the lines and tubes running in and out of her were checked and monitored.

Judy arrived in the room with Beth as they prepared to roll her over.

"It's going to hurt a bit, Quinn. Be brave for a few moments. We'll be quick."

A pillow was placed on her chest and they wrapped both arms over it and then pulled her in one move, over and onto her right side, bending her knees and then shifting her back into the centre of the bed. Some more adjustments took place and pillows moved around to keep her from rolling back. Another was placed between her knees, the gown slipped away from Quinn's left hip. Santana didn't miss the large bruise and white dressing over the area. She realised that was probably where they had taken the bone graft from. The red and purple marks were huge.

"Are those from the surgery?" She asked the nurse.

Covering the hip again the nurse shook her head. "Seatbelt." She smoothed the sheet back over Quinn's broken body.

"All done for a couple of hours," she squeezed Quinn's shoulder. "Get some rest, sunshine."

Santana was suddenly aware that there was someone else in the room and gasped. She hadn't met either Mrs Fabray or Beth and now saw the identical eyes of Quinn's daughter looking right at her.

The Latina approached and smiled softly at the child. She had a reputation for being a hard-ass but she loved kids.

"You must be Beth," Santana gave her a wave and received a baby chuckle in response. "She looks just like you, Q." There was no response from her friend. "Q?"

"She's asleep. The meds knock her out for a while." Judy sat Beth down on the floor with a blanket and a mobile to play with. "It's probably going to be an hour before she wakes up."

The three teenagers looked at each other.

"We'll get going." Rachel picked up her bag and drew it over her shoulder. "Is it okay to come back tomorrow?"

"Visiting is two to seven on the weekends so anytime then is fine." Judy went to Quinn and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Sensing they were now intruding, the teenagers moved to the door giving Beth a wave on the way out.

"Mrs Fabray, I know you don't know us very well, but if we can help out with babysitting or grocery shopping anything like that while Quinn is in the hospital, you will let us know, won't you?"

"Thank you, Rachel. My parents are retired and happy to help, but it would be nice to give them a break sometime. I'll let you know if there's anything you can help with. Mostly Quinn just needs friends right now though."

Rachel nodded. "I'll call tomorrow to see how she is before visiting."

Judy nodded and gave them a small wave as they went out.

—

Quinn looked at her feet as the nurse stripped the blanket and sheet from on top of her. She was sitting at a shallow angle but she could see her lower body.

She concentrated all her efforts on her toes and tried to make them move, the strain on her face was evident.

The nurse looked at Quinn's face and followed her gaze. She wasn't going to tell her it was useless, even though the odds were that the teenager would have no use of her lower body for the foreseeable future. She didn't say anything because it wasn't her place but also because acceptance couldn't be forced on someone, it had to be learned for oneself. It would be a while before the girl accepted what had happened to her.

"Steph?"

"You finally learned my name," the nurse chirped with a grin.

"I've been struggling to remember my own you dope me up so much," Quinn grumbled.

"What were you going to ask me?"

"Oh, yeah. Can I eat something real today?"

"What's not real about fruit and yogurt?"

"It's baby food practically and I'm hungry. I want to feed myself as well."

The nurse looked at her. "Let's try sitting you up properly. If you make it fifteen minutes without puking, you can have some toast. How does that sound?"

"Okay," Quinn relaxed her head back and stopped trying to move her feet. "How long before I can do stuff on my own?"

Steph raised an eyebrow as she folded up the blankets. "They'll have you up today and see how you go. If you get on okay, you'll go into a regular room for about a week or so. Once we know you're okay, we can have you off to the rehab centre in Columbus."

"Columbus? Why do I need to go to Columbus?"

Steph turned back to face Quinn. The kid looked scared.

"The type of injury you have needs specialist rehabilitation. You can do it here, but it would take you forever to learn how to deal with it if you only had a couple of hours a day. They can help you in a fraction of the time. You'll be independent much quicker if you go there. It really is for the best."

Quinn hadn't cried in the last twenty-four hours but she started again as the reality of the situation hit her.

"How long will it take?" she gasped out between trying to breathe.

"I'm not sure, it depends how quickly you learn things, but I would say around two to three months."

"Months?" Quinn lifted her left hand to her face to rub the tears off. It was the first time she had managed that since the crash.

"It will go by quicker than you think," Steph handed her a Kleenex.

"Thanks," the blonde replied.

The aide, Carlos, brought in a wheelchair and set about adjusting it so they could get her out of bed.

Quinn turned her shoulders a little to see it better and grimaced. "That's ugly looking," she complained.

Carlos laughed at her. "Don't worry. They give you a proper one after you can sit for a while, but this one tilts back to keep you from falling out until you get used to it."

She turned her stiff neck back and let the pillows take the weight of her head again.

"Hurry up then, I want a fancy one instead of that contraption."

Carlos grinned at Steph. "I think Ms Fabray is probably ready to get out of ICU right?"

—

They moved her precisely one yard to her left from the bed to the chair and she managed half an hour before she felt dizzy so they moved her back. It was early afternoon before they tried her again, the physical therapist had worked her arms and legs over for an hour first. Quinn noticed he was much less gentle than the previous two days, where she had been in too much pain to get much done.

When Rachel and Santana came to visit that afternoon, Quinn was eating home made apple pie and custard with a huge grin on her face. Her grandma was holding the dish so she could see it and her left arm was moving comfortably enough. The right was still badly bruised and it hurt to try and hold the bowl herself. The neck brace was a pain because it stopped her moving her head comfortably to see anything.

Everyone brightened instantly at the arrival of her visitors.

Rachel brought a bag of snacks for her friend now she was eating normally. They noticed that the IV lines were gone, though the port was still on the back of her right hand. The other equipment seemed to be around but not all switched on.

Quinn paused after swallowing a spoonful. "I get out of here this evening. They're moving me to a regular room."

"That's immense," Santana looked genuinely pleased. "You're a rock star, Q."

The blonde gave her an incredulous look but then turned her attention to her grandma. "I think I'm full."

"You sure, sweetheart?"

Quinn pulled a strange face. "My belly is numb," her brow furrowed. "I don't know for sure."

Her grandma placed a hand on her cheek. "It's fine, sweetie. Do you want a drink?"

"No thanks."

Rachel as always saved the embarrassment by talking her way through everything. "I brought you some more books based on those that were in your locker at school, so I hope you enjoy them and I brought something to munch on in case the food here is terrible." She started organising things again.

"Rach, just leave everything in the bag. They're moving me, remember?"

"Oh of course. Would you like me to make a start on packing everything else away for you then. I like to be useful."

Quinn rolled her eyes and signalled silently to the Latina that she might need to step in.

"Berry, get over here and stop fussing like mother hen." Santana caught her by the elbow and made her put the bag down. "Come give blondie a hug now she's in a more accessible position."

Quinn flashed a grateful smile as Rachel looked nervously at her friend.

"Can I, I mean is it okay to give you a hug now? We won't cause any pain?"

"C'mere," Quinn waved her left hand.

The shorter girl approached and there was a brief moment of uncertainty but then Quinn got her to move to her left side.

"Just don't squeeze my right shoulder too much, it hurts like a bitch still."

Rachel's face fell and she looked like she might cry as her arms extended around the hard shell protecting Quinn's spine.

Santana copied the motion and put her head to Quinn's briefly.

"You look so much better today. You better keep getting well or I'll kick your ass."

Quinn chuckled.

"I feel better. More human anyway."

They released each other.

"They said I have to go to Columbus for rehab. I'm going to be gone a while. Probably two months at least." She sighed slowly, careful not to aggravate her healing neck.

"We'll still visit, though it might have to be at the weekend. I'm not sure a round trip to Columbus on a school night would be feasible." Rachel thought about it.

"How come Kurt's not here?" Quinn wondered how he was doing.

"Finn is going to bring him later. Artie asked about you again yesterday. I didn't get a chance to tell you because you know…"

"Did my sleeping beauty impression? That's what my nurse, Steph calls me," the corner of Quinn's mouth tilted upwards.

Rachel giggled. "He's worried about you. I mean we all are, but I guess he knows what you're going through."

Quinn nodded. "I do want to see him, but I don't want him to feel bad either." She moved her eyes to her hands. "Maybe he could come tomorrow."

"I'll text him now," Santana suggested, taking out her phone.

Quinn gave her a small nod. "Thanks Santana."

—


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the feedback so far.

Here's the next instalment...

Chapter 6

July 2020, Riverside, CT

"Rach! You look amazing," Quinn rolled straight into her arms and they held on for ages.

"I really missed you guys so much. Sorry everything's gone crazy. I just couldn't get out of anything. Contracts you know. Sold myself to the devil and all that."

"You're here now," Santana waited until the blonde and brunette had greeted each other properly and then shared a hug with the shorter girl. "Come on through," she tugged Rachel's hand and led her into the living room, following behind Quinn and Beth, who held the door, principally for her mom, but then the other two adults as well.

Rachel glanced around the room. The decor was gorgeous; she would have expected no less of Santana the perfectionist. It had original art on the walls, no doubt that was Quinn's influence and though most were plain white with mouldings around, there were little touches of colour here and there to tie in perfectly.

"Wow, this is amazing!" Rachel wandered forwards through an archway into the room beyond and eventually to the glass wall at the end. The huge windows ran almost the full width of the room and looked out onto a landscaped garden and swimming pool beyond. She turned and looked at the trio behind her. "I've really missed you guys and this place is perfect. I'm so happy for you."

Santana had a hand on the back of Quinn's chair and her other arm around Beth's shoulders. "We've talked about getting a proper family place for a while now. Glad you like it, Rach."

Quinn glanced up at her partner and gave Santana's arm a squeeze. "You actually called Rachel by her name. See she's housebroke now too, Rach."

"Whatever!" The Latina rolled her eyes. "Don't get used to it, Berry."

The shorter girl turned around. "Have you heard from anyone else lately?"

Quinn nodded, yeah we had Cedes here a while back for a week or so. Kurt commutes up here for the odd day fairly frequently. We don't see a lot of the others in person but Artie keeps in touch weekly, we usually Skype. How about you?"

Rachel shrugged. "I've just been so busy I haven't seen anyone in a while. We swap messages but it's not the same."

Quinn screwed up her face before she asked her questions. "I heard you and what's his name," she paused trying to remember, "Chris? It was Chris wasn't it? You broke up?"

Rachel shrugged again. "It was hardly monogamous on either side."

"What's monogamous mean?" Beth looked confused.

"Aunt Rach's boyfriend cheated," Santana interpreted.

"Actually it was both of us, I can't complain," the shorter woman confessed. "But that was just a fling." She approached Beth and took her hands. "I still can't believe how much you've grown. It was only Christmas I saw you last."

Beth grinned. "I am the second tallest in my class."

Rachel looked at the girl. Quinn never spoke about Beth's father, it was just a missing piece of information she chose never to fill in for them and perhaps it was best. Her daughter was long and lean, with the same hair and sweet face as her mother. They looked very much alike.

"That's good, you won't have to put up with all the short jokes I got in school."

"Yeah, we should probably apologise for that again," Santana tried to look innocent.

Quinn elbowed the Latina. "Behave, San."

Rachel gave them a loving glance.

"I'm so happy for you guys though." She kept her gaze on Quinn. "I saw the jigsaw upstairs."

Quinn's face broke into a smile. "That jigsaw is the only reason I am sane, Rach. It will always go wherever I do."

—

2010, Lima, Ohio

Quinn's room was already decorated with cards and flowers. Rachel, Mercedes and Kurt had been busy all morning putting them around her room. She might only be there for another week, but they were going to make sure it was as homely as it could be.

Quinn was sat back in the same wheelchair as the previous day, but she was more upright and had been there for well over an hour. She was no longer connected to the bed in any way so her friends moved her over to the window. She had made a small attempt to move the chair herself but her neck hurt too much when she gripped the wheels.

They were playing music quietly, the new nurse she had to get used to insisted it not be on too loud.

They hadn't heard Artie and Finn approach.

Finn knocked on the open door and greeted everyone. Artie followed him into the room. Quinn couldn't see who had arrived at first. She tried to turn her head, but it wouldn't move enough. She reached with her left hand to turn the wheel of the chair so she could spin around slowly.

She immediately stopped when she saw Artie.

She tried to keep her emotions swallowed but it was hard.

Artie didn't say anything, he just moved towards her and when he got close enough, he took her hand and squeezed it. Neither of them said anything and the others quietly left and went out into the hallway, closing the door behind them.

Still there was no conversation in the room. Quinn blinked a few times and looked into Artie's compassionate gaze. It wasn't sympathy, that was different. He didn't feel sorry for her in the same way the others did. He just understood how she felt.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a few moments. Artie's hand never left her own.

"Thanks Artie," she squeezed his hand as hard as she could.

He nodded but just sat there.

"Are they still just sitting?"

"It's not like Quinn can do much else right now, Finn." Rachel rolled her eyes. He wasn't the most thoughtful person, even though he meant no harm.

"I meant, are they saying anything yet?"

"No I don't think so," Mercedes watched through the window. "Quinn might be asleep actually. Is that safe while she's sitting in the wheelchair?"

Rachel looked through. "I don't think she's asleep. She just has her eyes closed. Besides, she's strapped in anyway."

"Should we go back in?" Kurt wondered.

"Just leave them for now," Rachel replied. "Let's go to the cafeteria." She opened the door and explained they were going to go for a drink.

"Wait," Quinn waved her over. "Can we come too?"

Rachel's face lit up. "We thought you might like to talk for a while, but of course we can all go together."

"We don't need to talk," Quinn squeezed Artie's hand again. "We both know how the other is feeling."

Artie gave her a gentle smile and nodded. "Let's get out of this room for a little while. I guess you're tired of it already."

"I really am, as nice as it is." Quinn gave Rachel a big grin. "This chair is a beast, you better get Finn to push me."

—

October 2010, Wexner Medical Centre, OSU, Columbus, Ohio

They transferred her by road as she was stable and pulled up outside the University medical center in Columbus. The ambulance crew pulled her out of the back on the gurney and moved her slowly towards the doors. She couldn't see much except the grey overcast sky briefly, then the canopy over the entrance. She was well wrapped up, but could feel the chill on her face until they went through the door.

It was a day short of two weeks since the accident and they had a bed for her, so she was moved from Lima as quickly as possible. They wanted her up and around so that her physical condition didn't deteriorate any further.

Her mom was already waiting with Beth and her grandparents when she arrived. They hadn't needed to worry about being jostled around on the road and had gotten there quicker as a result.

They settled her into her new room with a ton of instructions. The most important seemed to be about making sure everyone used the alcohol gel on their hands before they did anything else. Quinn had thought that it wouldn't matter so much now she was healing up nicely but it seemed as though they were just as fussy about it as Lima Memorial.

They paramedics provided some assistance, but it was mostly the nursing and auxiliary staff that helped slide her from the gurney to the bed.

She was only there a short while before the physical therapists arrived and took her off to the gym. She was stretched out and they were less than gentle with her. It hurt a lot and when she arrived back, she was utterly exhausted.

There was a stream of visitors in the afternoon, her friends from school made the long journey and brought the decorations from her room and news that she was getting school work sent through by email from all the teachers. Rachel offered to study with her as soon as she was ready and promised to come over at the weekends to help.

Quinn closed her eyes and thanked her, then before she knew it, they were waking her for dinner; she had fallen asleep, but found the cards, posters and gifts from Lima were now up on the walls around her.

Only her mom had stayed; everyone else had left for the day.

"Mom?"

"Yes, baby," Judy took her daughter's hand.

"What am I going to do? I can't stand this."

"Oh, honey, please don't do this now. You're going to be okay. Everyone is going to be there for you and you'll be out of here before you know it."

Quinn tried to shake her head and grimaced slightly. "They said months," she had big fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "How do I take care of Beth now? I can barely feed myself." She glanced away and her face flushed. "I'm more like a baby than she is."

"You're going to learn how to take care of yourself, Quinn." Her mother's tone changed slightly, it had less sympathy in it. "I'm not going to let you fall into the trap of thinking you are helpless. You're injured and in pain, but you will get better and stronger. Once you are up and around the doctor said you would be able to take of yourself eventually."

Quinn reached for the tears and wiped them from her face. "It just seems impossible right now."

"I know, but it's not. You have a lot to get better for. You have a lot of friends and a family who love you. You're smart Quinn and there is still so much waiting for you."

Quinn kept crying on and off throughout the evening but as soon as she was up and out of bed the next morning they kept her busy with the varied therapies she needed and she had no time to herself to think about it anymore.

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"I made Santana help stick down all the pieces on this huge board with adhesive. She complained about it for weeks after too."

The Latina rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "That glue was hell on my nails," she pouted then seeing the look on Rachel's face she turned back into normal Santana. "If you guys are going to gang up on me, I'm going to start sulking and then you'll all be sorry."

Beth laughed at her and wrapped her arms around her adoptive mother.

"Five thousand freakin' pieces, Berry. What were you thinking?"

Rachel smiled at her friend.

"I just wanted Quinn to remember that the bright lights of her future were still waiting despite being stuck in hospital for weeks and weeks."

Beth looked serious for a moment. "Is that where it came from?"

"You were too young to remember, baby." Quinn took her daughter's hand. "Rachel brought the jigsaw for me because I got really bored and bad tempered when I was waiting to come home. I didn't have you with me to keep me entertained."

Beth dropped back onto her mom's knees. "Were you really sad?"

Quinn nodded honestly. "I was. It took me a long time to get better and I needed a lot of help to start off with. I felt like I was supposed to be taking care of you and people were having to take care of me instead."

"But you didn't stay sad did you?" Beth kept her eyes trained on the matching hazel eyes.

"No, baby. I didn't stay sad. After a while I was okay again and things went back to normal, or sort of normal anyway." Quinn squeezed around Beth's ribs pulling her closer. "Aunt Rachel and Tana helped me a lot and I felt much better after I left the hospital."

—

November 2010, McKinley High School Choir Room

"Hey, dwarf, you coming to see Quinn Saturday?"

"Santana, why do you insist on insulting nicknames at a time like this? I thought we agreed to suspend hostilities under the current circumstances."

"Oh chill out, Berry! It's called a term of endearment, I give everyone an insulting nickname, even the people I actually like." She rolled her eye. "And since you don't drive, I was trying to be nice and offer to give you a ride, despite you no doubt, singing show tunes at me the whole way there like last time."

"Oh," Rachel's face changed and she gave the Latina a grateful smile, "that would be very kind of you and I promise I won't sing, but maybe we can bring some CDs for the journey?"

"Whatever," Santana shrugged. "Brit's coming too and Mercedes."

"That's good, maybe we can practice something together for Glee."

"Never mind that, just get some things for Quinn and this time, don't bring her the latest gossip from Broadway, bring something she might actually be interested in."

Rachel nodded. "I think she's a little bored being stuck all that way away from her friends and family. I know her mom visits a lot but she must have a lot of time on her own too."

Santana gave Rachel a look that suggested she agreed. "Just find something interesting to occupy her time then."

Rachel had collected some things for Quinn. Her latest assignments from teachers were in a folder, categorised by subject. In another bag she had a selection of healthy snacks and treats, and finally a large box that was gift wrapped.

She placed them in the trunk of Santana's car and the four girls set off for Columbus.

As they went into the room Quinn had occupied for the last four weeks, they were surprised to find her talking to two young men, both in wheelchairs, as indeed was Quinn herself. It was an improvement on the one from the hospital in Lima, but the blonde still didn't look comfortable. They had become accustomed to Quinn looking cool and trendy, but she was dressed in what appeared to be rehab chic; sweat pants and a T-shirt.

The guys turned and glanced appreciatively at the girls.

"Whoa, Quinn," he turned back to her, "you're friends got it going on." He actually turned and winked at Brit and then Rachel, who blushed.

"Shut up, Troy," Quinn slapped him on the arm.

Quinn introduced them but then made them both leave before the conversations took an awkward turn.

"You seem to have made some friends," Rachel commented brightly.

Quinn shrugged, "More like inmates."

Santana laughed but got a look from Rachel which suggested it wasn't funny.

"Quinn really? Gallows humour might be appropriate in some circumstances…"

"Oh shut up, Berry," the Latina pushed past her and went to give Quinn a hug. "How are you?"

Another shrug followed by a heavy sigh. "Getting through it I guess. I might get out of here in another couple of months but it's still a drag. It's mostly just guys in here and they're okay but pretty much have one track minds. There are a couple of other women but much older than me and we have nothing in common. I miss just having you guys around and I miss school."

"We miss you too," Mercedes bustled past the others and gave her a hug. "But don't worry about missing school, Rachel brought it with her."

That earned her a laugh from the blonde. "It's great to see you all. Thanks for coming," she glanced at her watch. "Would you like to go for coffee or something, the cafe is open."

"We just came to see you," Mercedes replied.

"I know, but I get tired of these four walls."

They all glanced at each other and nodded at the offer of going for a drink.

"So I get to show you my skills," Quinn pushed the wheels of the chair forwards. "I'm up to getting around anywhere flat and a few shallow ramps without anyone pushing me now." She explained how quickly she was progressing. "Plus I practically bench press my own body weight in the gym!"

"Liar," Santana replied with a grin. "Those skinny white arms couldn't bench press Rachel's weight and she's about half the size of a regular person."

They all laughed, even Rachel. It was nice to be able to joke again now that Quinn was on the mend.

"Give me a few weeks," Quinn moved into the hallway and lead them to the elevator. She pressed the button to go down a floor and the rest just followed without trying to do anything to help. Artie had been very strict in his advice to them. He had told them that under no circumstances should they do anything to help Quinn unless she specifically asked for it and Santana had reminded them all on the way up.

The blonde rolled into the elevator and pressed the door hold until everyone was inside. "Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times," she joked as they descended to the lower floor and then made their way towards the cafeteria.

"Are you arms getting tired?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shrugged. "A bit, but it's fine. I need to build up my stamina by going a little further each day. I'll let you know if they get too tired."

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"Did you tell Aunt Rachel about the thing?" Beth asked her mom.

"What thing?" The shortest of the three adults looked up. "No one mentioned 'the thing' to me when I called last week."

Quinn smiled. "It's just a sale of my work that's all, Rach. We have a gallery showing my work in New York."

"Oh my gosh. A gallery opening? Of just your work?"

The blonde shrugged. "I guess; it's not such a big deal."

"This is huge," the diva replied excitedly. "When is it opening? I have to tell all the people I know in the city. We'll all be coming to the opening. You are going to have a grand opening right?"

Quinn was slightly bewildered by the response. "I guess so, but it's not for a while yet."

"I'm so happy for you. I just knew that one day, everyone would know who you were." A big grin spread across Rachel's lips. "I'm so proud of you," she reached over and gave the blonde a big hug. "Can I see the photos? I bet they're amazing. Everything you do is amazing."

A little red flushed across Quinn's cheeks at the praise.

"Yeah, I only have the small proofs here though. The large format prints are still at the printers, so you'll just have to be patient for once and wait until the opening."

"I'll go get them," Beth immediately ran off to her mother's studio to get the prints.

Rachel watched the youngster speed off. "She's so gorgeous," she had a hand on her heart. "You know how jealous I am that you have her?"

"Oh god, Berry's gone maternal!" Santana grimaced as she crossed herself.

—

TBC - please take the time to let me know if you liked it


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews and the questions - if I answer them, I would just be giving the story away, so I am going to refrain from replying for now. Things will become clearer in time.

The usual disclaimer applies

Chapter 7

December 2010, Columbus

"Rach, what were you thinking?"

"I like the picture, I thought you would."

"I do, honestly, but did you read the size of the thing?"

"Erm….I confess that the size might have escaped me."

"Five thousand pieces, Rach! Five thousand! The thing's half the size of my room."

Rachel sighed. "I'm really sorry. It's just, you said you were a little bored and missing everyone during the week. I thought you would be happy with something absorbing to keep you busy and your mind off the other stuff."

Quinn smiled. Rachel was just so sincere.

"I really like it, I just can't find anywhere big enough to put it together."

There was a chuckle on the end of the line.

"When you come visit me this weekend, I'm making you find somewhere to put the thing."

"You haven't started it yet?"

There was a small noise on the end of the line.

"Quinn?"

"Quinn?" Rachel had to wait a moment for her friend to reply.

"I haven't been feeling too great the last couple of weeks."

"Why didn't you say? What's wrong?"

Again a brief silence.

"I've been working on some stuff; it kind of had me distracted."

"That sounds exciting."

"It's not, really. I'd rather not talk about it actually."

Rachel was taken aback. Quinn was always a little closed off but not usually dismissive.

"Is something wrong? You're not sick or anything."

"I'm not sick. It's just complicated. My injury is just … complicated."

Rachel realised Quinn didn't want to talk about whatever it was because she was embarrassed by it.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for asking." She paused briefly. "Are you talking to someone about this? I mean a professional. You really should. I understand that you wouldn't want to tell me everything. I'm not very discreet, I know, but it's good to get things off your chest."

The line stayed quiet for a while.

"I go to counselling, but it's not like talking to friends."

"We're here if you need us."

"I know. I didn't mean to be so …abrupt. Sorry, Rach. It's just difficult to know what to say. I don't want to upset everyone."

Rachel's heart was literally breaking at the words she heard. Quinn was struggling and she just didn't know what to say to help. She glanced at her watch. It was almost five o'clock.

"I'm going to come and see you this evening. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You don't need to do that, Rach. It's a school night and it's too far."

"I don't have any homework due in tomorrow that I haven't already finished. I'm going to call my dad and ask him to drive me."

"No, please don't. I don't want to ruin your dad's evening either. I'm fine."

Rachel didn't argue.

"Okay, but promise you'll call if you need anything."

"I will."

Rachel put the phone down after saying goodbye but then immediately called her dad.

Two hours later, Rachel walked into Wexner.

—

"So where are we putting it?" She snuck her head around Quinn's door.

"Rach, what are you doing here?" Quinn was sat in bed watching TV. Her room mate was asleep so she signalled to be quiet.

Rachel watched as Quinn took a deep breath and took a wooden board from beside the bed, using it to bridge the gap between the mattress and the wheelchair parked alongside the bed.

Artie's words were still fresh in her mind. "Let her talk about it if she wants but don't push her to open up if she doesn't want it."

She watched as the blonde psyched herself up to move from one to the other, shuffling her hand a few times to find just the right spot to push down on. Eventually she hefted her slender frame across the gap and lifted her legs into place.

Rachel was used to watching Artie move around but this felt different because it didn't bother Artie much, but Quinn was clearly bothered. Rachel plastered a smile on her face but held back from praising her friend for something so simple as moving from bed to chair. She also ignored that Quinn was out of breath for a few moments afterwards. The blonde rolled around the bed and motioned the diva out of the door so they could share a hug and talk openly.

"I told you not to come tonight," Quinn complained, but in a way that showed she was also grateful and Rachel's arms squeezed around her shoulders.

"I know what you told me, but I didn't promise to agree."

A gentle chuckled vibrated in Quinn's chest.

"Thank you. I'm glad you came, even though I'm sorry to have ruined your evening."

"What makes you think that?"

"You travelled all this way."

Rachel shrugged and held Quinn's hand. "I just felt like you could use someone to talk to and I'm happy to be here if you do."

Quinn stared down at her lap briefly. "Let's go sit in the common room. It's too cold to go outside."

They moved quickly down the hall. It had been two weeks since Rachel had last seen the other girl and she was impressed by how much smoother Quinn seemed to be at pushing the chair.

"You're looking much more like your old self," Rachel commented. "You know, stronger."

Quinn grinned. "Thanks. They keep you going all day here so you get better quicker. It's hard work but the good kind where you actually feel like you're getting somewhere."

Rachel nodded and held a door for her so they could sit in the larger room. There were a few people watching a football match on the large TV so they headed out of the way in the corner so conversation was easier.

Rachel took a seat and Quinn rolled up close by and shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie.

Glancing around, Rachel looked at the large group of tables in the middle of the room.

"You could put it there," she nodded at the tables. "Surely there's enough room for it."

Quinn turned her shoulders. "I guess. I can see the pieces getting lost though."

Rachel smiled again. "Maybe I'll put a sign up saying only Quinn Fabray is allowed to touch the pieces."

Quinn chuckled again. "That might do it, especially if they've met you."

Rachel joined in laughing. "I'm glad you're smiling again."

The blonde nodded. "I haven't felt much like it the last couple of weeks to be honest."

"I'm sorry we couldn't get here last weekend."

"You had sectionals; that's more important."

Rachel frowned. "We had this thing at the synagogue too so daddy put his foot down and said I had to go."

Quinn nodded. "It's okay. I understand. At least you won, I'm just sorry I wasn't there with you."

"It wasn't as much fun without you. But you'll be back for regionals so that's good, right?"

Quinn shrugged. "I don't know if I'll be back in school by then. I don't really know what I'm going to be doing."

Rachel reached out and took her hand. "Everything's going to be okay. We'll work it out."

Quinn didn't let go but she scrunched up her face, unconvinced. "Everything's not going to be okay. It's never going to be okay."

"What's wrong. You've never sounded this defeatist before."

Quinn shrugged. "I've been trying….just it's hard to explain, but… with my injury. You remember me saying how gross this is sometimes?"

Rachel nodded.

A heavy sigh came from the pink lips. "They've been showing me how to manage…. you know … the toilet. So I don't have to wear the bag. I feel like an infant again, honestly. I'm sixteen and they're teaching me how to pee!"

"That's what has you down?"

She nodded. "I've had a few accidents. It's pretty depressing. I thought it would be easy once they showed me the mechanics."

Rachel tugged at the hand to get Quinn to make eye contact; she was staring at the top of the wall behind her.

"It's okay. Once you have more practice, everything will be fine."

"Yeah but what about once I get back to school. What if I have an accident there or worse, when I'm out in public?" A sound of frustration came out of Quinn's mouth. "I just want to feel normal again and have some sort of normal life. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this."

"Nothing you've done made you deserve this, it was just a dumb accident."

Quinn nodded then just had a complete meltdown. She burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. The others in the room turned and saw what was going on and recognised it for what it was. They both left quietly without a fuss.

Rachel stood and wrapped Quinn up in her arms so she had something to hang onto. It wasn't easy but at least she wasn't as tall as Finn, which made life easier when hugging someone in a wheelchair.

They didn't talk. Rachel just let Quinn cry her heart out for a while. It was the first time she had shown much emotion about it and somehow the brunette was relieved that her friend was finally letting her real feelings out about it. They had been bottled up for weeks.

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"Oh, Quinn. These are amazing. I can't wait to see them blown up the size of this room."

A modest smile spread across Quinn's face.

"You think so?"

"I love them. I always loved your photos. Even when you weren't so accomplished back in school, you always took the best pictures." Turning to Beth, Rachel explained herself. "Your mom was always dragging her camera around school and took hundreds of pictures."

"You were always happy to have your mugshot taken, that I remember!" Santana interrupted.

Rachel's cheeky smile broke out. "Never pass up an opportunity to practice your paparazzi pose."

Beth giggled. "I've seen some of them on mom's laptop." Turning to Quinn, the girl jumped up and down. "Can I go get it and show Aunt Rach our holiday pictures?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Sure go ahead."

Once more Beth ran out of the room in excitement.

"She's like a little bundle of energy. She kind of reminds me of me at that age."

Quinn watched her daughter go and just nodded. "Pretty much."

—

"So, what happened with Chris?" Quinn finally got a chance to talk to Rachel alone. They were sat on the sofa together, glass of pinot grigio in hand, catching up on each others busy life.

"His phone rang while he was in the shower and the ID came up with the name of this mutual friend. I didn't understand why he had her number when she was actually more my friend than his, but she was always laughing too loudly at his jokes. Anyway, I just guessed that something was going on. I can tell when someone is being unfaithful, but I didn't care enough to listen to his explanation. Can you believe it, he said it was my fault because I introduced them at a party and I went off on tour leaving him alone in New York. How is it my fault that he couldn't keep his thing in his trousers for eight weeks?"

Quinn shrugged. "That's not your fault, but I thought you said you both cheated?"

"Yes, but I'm more clever that him and didn't get caught, so…." she shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't even care much. What does that say about our relationship?"

Quinn didn't want to bring it up, but Rachel just wasn't the same since Finn passed away. Not where men were concerned. It was as though the centre of her universe was missing so she just rotated around the galaxy without any focus in her personal life, whilst her professional life was on a steady upward trajectory.

"So now what? Back to more dating and trying people on for size?"

Rachel shook her head. "I'm just not in the right place emotionally for any of that. The novelty of dating has worn off. I'm staying single for the foreseeable."

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"What?" the brunette asked.

"You've said that before. I give it about a fortnight before you have met the man of your dreams… or the man of your dreams for the next six months at least."

Rachel pouted. "It's okay for you. You have met and married the love of your life."

Again the thought popped into Quinn's head that Rachel had too, only for it to end in the worst way. She remembered only too well the devastation of Finn's death on her best friend. She had sat with her for days afterwards, hoping that something would put some life back into Rachel's eyes. It had taken a few months before she was herself again, but steadily things had improved. There were still times when she could see that little haunted face, but mostly Rachel was okay. She just couldn't seem to find someone who meant as much to her as Finn had. The blonde really hoped that one day she would find true love again.

"I have something for you, but I'm not sure it's a good idea. If I say it has to do with Finn, does that make a difference?"

Rachel looked into her wine glass and smiled.

She shook her head. "I don't know what it is, but I think I'm in a good place right now to deal with it."

Quinn presented Rachel with a gift box.

The brunette looked surprised. "What's this for?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's for you. I found it a while back and forgot that I hadn't passed it over."

Rachel opened the box and took out an envelope with her name on the front. She recognised the scrawly handwriting on the front.

"This is from Finn?"

Quinn nodded. "It was just in a box that we sorted through after moving here. I've been meaning to give it to you, but I couldn't risk sending it in the mail and it getting lost. I'm so sorry that I never gave it to you originally. I found it at a bad time and that's my only excuse."

Rachel nodded slowly. "After the accident?"

"Yeah just after I came home from the hospital."

"I'm not sure I want to open it," she turned it over and lifted the flap.

"You should, Rach. He meant it for you and I think you would kick yourself if you didn't read it."

The brunette shrugged. "I just don't want to get upset."

Quinn ran a hand over her arm. "It's only me, Rach and I've cried buckets on you before now."

Rachel chewed the inside of her lip and then pulled out the card inside. "It's a valentine's day card?"

Quinn nodded.

"Remember how we switched lockers because yours was low and mine was too high after I came back from rehab? He must have forgotten and slipped it through the side. It got stuck down the side of my locker and I didn't find it until I cleared the locker out after graduation. I meant to give it to you, but I just forgot because you left for New York pretty much straight away. I kept remembering it at the wrong time and was going to post it to you but then….."

"He died."

The blonde nodded and swiped away a tear from the corner of her eye at the thought.

"I just couldn't ever find the right time and then I forgot and we moved a few times, each time I meant to empty the box of old stuff and …I just didn't get round to it until a little while back."

Rachel smiled at the goofy cartoon on the front. It was so teenage and typical of Finn.

"I miss him," Rachel had a few tears and smudged them across her cheek.

"We all do," Quinn nodded.

Opening the card, she read the poem inside and her heart melted a little. Placing her hand on her heart, Rachel teared up again. She had a little cry to herself and then placed the card back inside the envelope.

"You okay?" The blonde ran her hand up and down Rachel's upper arm.

She sniffed and nodded.

"You still loved him didn't you? I mean after you broke up?"

Rachel nodded again.

"I just thought that after I made it big, I'd eventually go back home and just find him waiting for me. I wanted to settle down and have a family with him and then he was just…. gone."

Rachel knew that after her brush with death, Quinn would understand that more than any of them.

The two women shared and hug and Quinn whispered into her ear. "I wish he was still here for you, but he can't be so you have to let him go and find who you really want to be with instead of these throwaway relationships you indulge yourself in."

She felt Rachel's head nod.

"That's why I'm so jealous of you."

Quinn pushed herself back a little and frowned. "Why would you be jealous of me?" Quinn squeaked in surprise.

"You have everything I wish I had." A heavy sigh left her. "You have the person who just gets you and you have Beth. I just want what you have."

Quinn's face crumpled and she looked around to see if Santana was back yet from getting Beth settled for the night.

"But you have an amazing life that you dreamed of, as well as a body that still works."

"But it's lonely sometimes and I miss just having people around me. I might have the career and the fame, but my bed is still cold when I get home."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you deserve everything good in life and my lack of a love life is not your problem."

"Thank you, but you know if you're feeling a bit lonely, you can come and stay whenever you like. You're part of our family, even if it's just by association instead of birth."

The pair hugged again.

"Thanks. You might regret that if I decide to move in permanently."

Quinn just laughed. "I'm trying to picture Santana's face when I tell her you're moving in!"

—


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry this update took so long, my laptop developed a nasty case of trackpad disease and had to get a new one so I couldn't access anything.

Also please be patient regarding the relationship between Quinn and Santana - the nature of the story bouncing back and forth means that though they are obviously endgame, the story not simply about them getting together - though they obviously will be soon!

Hope you enjoy the update, feedback welcome as always

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters

Chapter 8

December 2010, Columbus

Quinn's tongue poked out between her lips as she peered across the table intently, concentrating on the picture in front of her, looking for the right place.

"Oh my god, tell me Berry didn't get you actually doing that freakin' jigsaw!"

Quinn looked up to see Santana and Brittany. A big grin broke out across her face. She pushed her upper body back upright from where she had been leaning over the table; her mobility had improved and she kept her balance beautifully.

"Hey girls," she held on with one hand while waving at them with the other.

"I love jigsaws," Brit's eyes went wide. "Can I help?"

Quinn just waved at the table. "Go ahead, there's plenty to do. Just don't lose a piece, Rachel will have a seizure."

The edge all around was in place and there were piles of similar looking pieces where they had been sorted. It had taken a week to get just that far; they kept her really busy during the day.

Brit sat down and started trying to fit the pieces of a neon sign together.

Santana rolled her eyes before reaching down to Quinn for a hug.

"So I have half the guys in here helping me out with this. It's kind of like group therapy," she laughed.

Santana liked the sound of Quinn's laugh and it had been a while since she'd heard it. She softened.

"Did you have a better week this week?"

Quinn looked surprised. "Rachel?"

Santana shrugged, "She was worried about you; we all worry about you."

"Mom brought Beth twice this week so I'm happier. You can tell Rach the good news for me; I'm probably getting to come home at Christmas. They think I can maybe get away with just day therapy after that, which means I don't have to come back here either; I can do it in Lima."

"Oh my god! That's freakin' awesome."

Quinn shrugged. "They said I was almost ready. I have to be able to take a shower on my own without any help and then get in and out of a car and I can be released. They said I just need to come back for driver's ed training in a couple of months and for check ups occasionally. I'm going home at last."

—

Going home wasn't quite like she'd expected. There was a party to celebrate, just two days before Christmas and it made the holidays a happy time, but Quinn struggled too. Rehab has become comfortable and everything was laid out perfectly for someone in a wheelchair and her house wasn't. The rooms were filled with furniture and carpet and baby stuff, all at the wrong level, angle, thickness, etc. It became frustrating quite quickly and Quinn let it show.

If taking care of herself was hard, looking after Beth was even harder. She struggled still to sit without support and so changing diapers was hard. She tried all sorts of methods including the eventual winner which involved looping a wrap around herself and the back of her wheelchair so she could let her body fall against it without toppling over, thus leaving both hands free to change Beth.

It was all a bit trial and error at first and as annoying as it could sometimes be, Quinn persisted in trying to be a good mom to her baby daughter. The big difference now though, was that everyone knew and understood her a bit better. They didn't pull her away from it as a result, instead they were just there to help and support her. It was all a little overwhelming considering she hadn't really known them very long.

It took a while for her life to settle again. Each time friends came over, they helped make something easier. Finn and Puck helped move out most of the carpets and Sam's dad fixed hardwood flooring for them. Artie and his mom came over a few times to make suggestions beyond those the occupational therapist had recommended. A few weeks after she had gone home, Quinn finally declared herself ready to go back to school part time at least.

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"She's really lonely. I feel bad for her." Quinn was used to Santana's insistence on standing beside her as she got into bed. It was their nightly routine. Once she was settled, her partner handed over the special pillow to wedge between her knees and helped to roll her on her side so that they would be facing each other in bed.

Climbing in the opposite side, Santana nodded and furrowed her brow. "I thought it was something like that. She seems a little different."

"How do you mean?"

A small shrug suggested the Latina wasn't too sure. "Maybe, I don't know, just quieter somehow. Less full-on. Rachel has always been full-on for the ten years we've known her and she just seems less so now. She seems less Rachel-like."

Quinn snorted. "That doesn't even make sense, San."

The Latina chuckled. "I know, but I don't know how else to describe it. She's definitely not herself right now."

"Do you think it's because she has everything she ever wanted and realises it's not what she thought it was going to be?"

"Maybe," another shrug followed. "I guess she doesn't have much to worry about professionally so she's turned her attention to her private life and realised she's been neglecting it."

Quinn was perplexed. She wasn't sure about the solution to what would become known as the 'Rachel problem'.

—

February 2011, Lima, Ohio

"Welcome back Quinn, we've all missed having you around," Mr Schue bent to give her a hug.

"Thanks, it's great to be back." She glanced at the rest of Glee club, who in turn looked at her expectantly. "I guess you want a speech or something?" she shrugged.

A brief round of applause followed and she smiled at them.

"Okay, well I guess almost getting squished by a car has left its mark," she pointed down at her legs, "but I am back and believe it or not, this is the happiest day of my life. I really missed school and I'm sorry that I wasn't around for your amazing sectionals win." A little jealousy spiked her briefly. "Anyway, thanks for visiting me over the last few months, but please don't baby me now I'm back. I know I'll probably fall or drop stuff, whatever, but I want to be able to do things for myself so I hope you won't be offended if I ask you to butt out and let me handle it." She explained herself with a slight smile. "Obviously, if you find me stranded in the parking lot with my hands frozen to my wheels and icicles hanging off of my nose, feel free to give me a push."

The wheelchair wasn't so shocking anymore and the hand gestures were familiar, but they were all still a little quiet.

"That was a little paraplegic humor, help me out here Artie will you, tough crowd."

He chuckled and the others relaxed a little. "I'm going to help Quinn out with some wheelchair dancing lessons too, just so we can look neat and tidy on stage." Artie was sort of proud of himself. Quinn was a goddess and he was a geek, but she was looking to him for advice and support. He felt about eight feet tall, well he guessed he would if he knew what that felt like. She gave him the cutest grin.

"I doubt I'll be winning any awards for it, but I'm going to give it a go. That and tennis; apparently I'm pretty good."

Everyone laughed and then they all stood and crowded round to give her a group hug.

"It's really good to be back, you guys."

—

2020 Riverside, Connecticut

"Calvin, meet Rachel. She's my best friend from school," Quinn tugged Rachel to meet the tall man who had just stepped into the house. "Rachel, come say Hi to Calvin, he used to be my doctor but I fired him for being useless so now he's just a friend."

Rachel smiled at the request, but then looked confused. "What?"

"Relax, I'm joking. Not about him being my doctor but the useless part," Quinn shook her head. It had always been easy to catch Rachel out.

"It's nice to meet you, Rachel. I can't believe Quinn has been holding out on me about you for the last couple of years. If I'd known you were best friends I would have made her introduce us before now. I'm a big fan!" He flashed a big smile and Rachel blushed a little.

"I still don't understand but it's lovely to make your acquaintance." The singer extended a hand.

"Why don't you go through to the dining room and explain Calvin," Quinn greeted a couple more dinner guests. They were having a small party and she had invited some of her and Santana's friends.

He indicated for Rachel to go ahead and then held the door for her moments later.

"Quinn and I met when she came into the ER with a broken finger. She claimed to have done it rock climbing; I laughed out loud, so did she. Turned out she pinched her finger between the tire and the frame of her chair whilst hanging onto a tennis racket, but she had me fooled for a few moments." He pointed to a seat and took the one next to her. "I too like a game of tennis, so we chatted a while; I was interested to know how her version differed from the regular game. She invited me to her club one afternoon and proceeded to wipe the floor with me and we've been firm friends ever since."

Rachel smiled at the story. It was completely like Quinn to make a friend that way.

"If you get me drunk enough, I'll tell you how we became friends, it's not too dissimilar." The brunette poured a glass of wine for the doctor and when Quinn followed with the other guests, Rachel glanced up and waved the bottle.

"Just half a glass," the blonde replied.

"How's your finger?" Rachel grinned at her.

"That was like two years ago," she waved away the concern.

Santana brought more empty glasses over and placed them down.

"Save me from the tennis story again," she and Calvin kissed on the cheek.

"I love hearing him tell it," Quinn chuckled and soon the rest joined in. "But you really should hear how Rachel and I met if you want a real belly laugh."

Calvin glanced at the shorter woman. "Just how much wine does it take to get you really drunk?"

—

"Goodnight guys," Calvin waved at the three women lounging on the sofa. "I had a great time."

"So soon?" Santana asked him.

"I'm on duty tomorrow," he shrugged standing. "Someone has to man the ER on a Sunday."

"Why don't you just stay over?" Quinn asked. "We can make up a bed for you."

Calvin thought about it for a moment. He lived a half-hour away and he had just the one glass of wine earlier so driving home wasn't an issue. "I'd love to, really, but I suspect I would just drink more of your very nice wine and be late for my shift; people could die," he exaggerated.

Santana just laughed. "That statement just made you more of a drama queen than Berry."

"You're drunk!" Rachel protested.

"So are you!" the Latina argued.

"I confess I might be, but it is very good wine."

"I think you actually bought the case for us at Christmas," Quinn acknowledged dragging herself back into her chair. She was the most sober of the three. "Don't kill each other while I show Calvin out."

He knew better than to argue with Quinn, so he waited patiently for her to arrange her legs in the chair and let her go ahead of him to the door.

"Did you really have a good time, the Robinson's aren't the most interesting conversationalists I know, but Ralph is sponsoring my gallery opening so I feel like I have to be sociable with them and they are nice."

"Quinn, I always have a good time here, even if I have to listen to Ralph droning on about exchange rate fluctuations or something," he gave a gallic shrug.

"Really?"

"Rachel's company more than made up for Ralph," he admitted. "I gave her my number, well actually I forced her to put it in her phone, mostly so I can just brag about it at work tomorrow."

The blonde laughed at her friend. "I think she enjoyed herself too so don't feel guilty."

His face lit up. "You don't think that by some small margin of remote possibilities that she would even be a teensy bit interested in a somewhat sleep deprived junior resident with promise?"

He received a gentle punch on the arm for that one. "Ask her yourself now you have her number."

"I will, don't think I won't. Even rejection by Rachel Berry would be treasured."

"Oh my God, could you be any more of a doofus? Go home now before you say anything else embarrassing," she teased.

"Goodnight, gorgeous," he bent and kissed her cheek and squeezed her shoulders.

"Drive safe," she insisted. "You only had one, right?"

"Before dinner," he acknowledged, well aware of Quinn's over-protectiveness when it came to driving.

She nodded and waved him out of the door.

Returning to the living room, Rachel was singing softly and Santana was snoring softly. The blonde rolled her eyes at the both of them.

"Come on the pair of you, to bed." She felt like the parent of wayward teens.

Santana woke with a start. "What time is it?"

"Early still but you're a little inebriated."

"What does that even mean?" the Latina looked confused.

"You're drunk," Rachel confirmed.

"God, it''s like spending the night with a thesaurus and a dictionary."

—

"Did you like my friends?"

"I did. The Robinson's are very sophisticated," Rachel agreed.

"In a really boring way," Quinn groaned. "Well actually Jessica's not so bad, just obsessed with hair and fashion, but according to Calvin, Ralph could be marketed as a cure for insomnia and he's going to prescribe an hour with some of his patients."

Rachel's face split with a huge grin. "He's very funny and I have to say, easy on the eyes in a very obviously Yale-like way."

"He's completely enamoured with you," she admitted, "though he went to Stanford actually."

"That's sweet, but I think he's much too nice for someone like me. I'd break his heart. And I hate to break it to you but there isn't much difference between Yale and Stanford."

Quinn's face fell and she shook her head. "Rach, what's going on? I remember you being this doe-eyed teenager who was just dying to fall in love and get married and now, I don't know, you sound so defeatist about relationships."

Rachel played with her hair to avoid eye contact. "You're just spoiled. Most people never have true love like you and San. The rest of us are just bouncing around from one relationship to another. I come across so many fake, plastic people that it's too difficult to try and spot the genuine ones anymore."

Quinn's brow furrowed. "You know what you need? You need to get away from all of that for a while and be with some real people until the cynicism washes off of you."

—

Rachel lay in bed and thought about Quinn's words. When had she become so cynical about love? She thought back to being young and optimistic. It wasn't actually that many years ago, but she had been burned. Finn was supposed to be back in Lima, teaching at McKinley; he was supposed to be there waiting for her to make her mark and return home in triumph to settle down and start a family. She was ready for that now, but he was gone and there was just the empty place in her heart that she couldn't find anyone else to fill.

—

"You okay?" Quinn was worried San looked a little green.

"I think I might puke and then be fine, well apart from the grievous hangover I'll have tomorrow morning. Why did you let me drink so much?"

"You're a grown woman and since when did you ever listen to me when it came to sharing wine with Rachel?"

Santana harrumphed and then ran to the bathroom.

Quinn just grinned and slid over into bed. It pained her to hear Santana puke, but knew it was probably a good thing to get it out of her system.

The Latina walked back into their room fifteen minutes later, large glass of water in hand and reeking of mouthwash.

"I'm killing Berry in the morning, just so you know," Santana dropped heavily onto the bed and groaned.

"I know you are," Quinn placated her partner. "And I forgive you for it," she rolled over with a little difficulty and placed a kiss on Santana's minty lips. "Sleep it off, love."

"Did Calvin and Berry get it off?"

"No he went home."

"Shame, they'd be good together."

"She says he's too nice for her."

"Berry's sad. I'm gonna kick her ass tomorrow," the brunette's eyelids fluttered closed and she was soon snoring.

"Of course you are," Quinn smiled to herself and let her own eyes drift closed.

—


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the nice feedback - here's another chapter to make up for the fact i hadn't posted in a while**

 **enjoy**

 **the usual disclaimer applies**

Chapter 9

2011, Lima, Ohio

"I don't think I'm ready for this," Quinn glanced at Artie.

"Sure you are," he reassured her.

"Artie, you have much better control of your trunk than I do, not to mention several years experience at this." She was half laughing at him as she spoke because he was mocking her; no one else would have dared, but it didn't bother him in the slightest.

"Come on woman, get over here and work with me on this."

"Did you seriously just call me woman?"

Artie grinned. "Come on, you need to learn wheelchair dancing one-oh-one." He nodded with his head to where he wanted her to position her chair. "Are you wearing the seatbelt just in case?"

She nodded.

There had been a few incidents of her falling out of the chair at school. The first time was when she had tried to reach up for something in her locker the first week back. Twice it had been when she hit a small bump in the sidewalk on her way out to the car and just couldn't keep herself in the seat. It was only as she was too late to do anything about it, that she realized she was slipping forwards. Apparently she might need a chair that seated her differently, but for now, the seatbelt was used until she understood her new body a little better and learned to read the signs.

Artie switched on the music. He had unsurprisingly chosen a Michael Jackson song. To the strains of Thriller, they started with Quinn just copying his moves. He showed her how to time her movements with just the chair initially, they didn't worry about anything else for now.

"Just try rolling forwards and push on the beat," he showed her.

Quinn was adept enough with controlling the chair to manage it with ease, so then he threw in some turns and she started to breathe a little heavier.

Next came double turns and finally wheelies. She was getting better at them, but timing them to music wasn't so easy.

There was a sheen of perspiration across her brow after half an hour and her fingers were getting sore.

"I think that's pretty good for a first lesson. Make sure you practice at home a little every day if you can."

She nodded. "I'll try. I'm kind of struggling to find any spare time in the week to be honest. I'm caught up with school work now but everything seems to take me so long." She realized that sounded a lot like moaning.

"It gets easier and quicker though, especially when you practice."

"I know and it is getting gradually easier, but still…." she blew the hair from her eyes and leaned her shoulders forwards placing her elbows on her knees to stretch her lower back a little.

Up in the back of the auditorium, the seats were shrouded in darkness so the two students on the stage couldn't see that they were being watched.

For forty minutes, Santana had remained still, admiring the way Quinn pushed herself physically and emotionally. She was churned up just watching the once perfect body move around in a wheelchair and twice, tears had rolled down her left cheek as Quinn had only half managed something before her top half had collapsed forwards onto her knees. She hadn't slipped out so Santana guessed she was strapped in, but it was just such a stark contrast to the time they had been in the bathroom together and Quinn had peeled off her slushy-stained top to reveal the long lean torso.

Dabbing at the tears with her finger, Santana sighed heavily. This wasn't doing anyone any good at all, but if she moved, they might see her and how was she going to explain her voyeurism then?

The pair rolled off the stage into the wings and then backstage. Santana could hear them laughing, Artie clearly said something funny and Quinn's delightful reply was laced with a giggle. She had no idea what the two had been saying, but she loved listening to Quinn's chuckle.

Standing, Santana stared at the spot on stage that the blonde had been occupying and then she turned and left the now silent auditorium.

—

"I saw you," Quinn mentioned as Santana took the seat beside her in Spanish.

"What?" The Latina flushed a little but kept her voice very low.

"In the auditorium yesterday."

"I don't know what…"

"Don't lie about it," Quinn whispered. "I could see the outline of someone watching us because of the fire exit sign. I didn't know it was you at first but I went around after we came off stage to see who it was and I saw you leaving from the back exit."

The normally quick to respond mouth, fell open a little and she glanced around to see if anyone was listening in on their conversation.

"I don't know what you were doing but I need you not to feel sorry for me, okay? I can take it from everyone else but not you. We've always been straight with each other, about the only thing about you that is straight, and I don't want that to change."

Santana wanted to say something but Mr Schue chose that moment to introduce the lesson and they didn't get a chance to finish the conversation.

Santana caught up with Quinn later on in the hallway.

"Look blondie, just because I was sat watching doesn't mean you can throw accusations around."

Quinn sighed. She really didn't understand the other girl's attitude. There were obvious issues surrounding her sexuality and yet she was an enigma, she called everyone else out on their weaknesses but couldn't admit to her own. She cared about people but didn't want anyone to know about it. Everything seemed to be a fight; every conversation had aggressive overtones.

"Look, I'm sorry you have stuff going on in your life that you can't handle, but right now I have my own significantly more serious problems. I can't deal with you stalking me on top of this," she indicated the wheelchair.

Santana grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the main hallway.

"Hey, watch out or you'll have me in a heap on the floor!"

"Oh shut up, you said you didn't want treating any differently. Besides, you're well strapped in." Santana then looked a little guilty. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

Quinn shook her head.

"Okay well, I know you have shit to deal with but I told you about my family; if they find out about me I'm toast."

Another sigh from the blonde followed. "I don't know how to help with that, sorry. I get this is hard for you, but I just can't handle any more drama right now."

Santana put her hands on her hips. "How are things? Are you okay? Berry hasn't said much."

"Things are what they are." She shrugged. "I'm getting by, that's about it right now."

Santana looked at the bright white of her gym shoes.

"You'll tell me if there's anything you need right? I mean, I want to help but without making you feel bad about it. I know you're not useless, you're just still getting to grips with everything."

"How's your backhand?"

"What?"

"I need to do something apart from sit and watch everyone else. Are you any good at tennis?"

Santana was okay at the game. Her father had paid for her to have lessons until she took up cheerleading seriously. "I can hold my own."

"Thank God, Rachel is hopeless and I really need to take out some frustration on something."

"Hate to break it to you though, the tennis courts are under a foot of snow," Santana waved in the general direction of the school courts.

"That's not a problem. My father might not speak to me anymore, but he doesn't get out of paying alimony. Mom got me membership at the country club. They have a spa too," she grinned.

The Latina took one look at the cheesy grin plastered across Quinn's face and melted a little.

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"Can I watch you work for a while?" Rachel chewed on toast with raspberry jelly lashed all over it.

Quinn shrugged. "Sure, why not? I'm just going to do some stuff in the studio this morning."

Rachel was enjoying her time off. Staying with her old friends was easy and stress free. She was teased remorselessly of course, but that was part of the fun. They reminded her of when her life was normal and full of genuine people, not some of the hangers-on she had to put up with now.

"What are you working on?" The brunette sipped at the scalding coffee.

"How can you drink that so hot?" Quinn blew on her own to cool it a little. She rolled her eyes at the shrug she received in response. "I'm experimenting with primary color liquids in still life."

She got one of Rachel's bemused looks.

"It's pretty cool actually. Like freezing the liquid using lights to create really vivid still life. I'm just trying it with all kinds of containers and different viscosity of liquid."

"Thanks for explaining because now I know exactly what you're talking about!" The brunette rolled her eyes and gave an exaggerated shrug, throwing a hand out to emphasise it.

"Drama queen!" Quinn scowled at her. "You asked me what I was working on."

"But you explained it like I understood what you were talking about," Rachel finished her coffee. "I generally stand in front of the camera not behind it."

The scowl turned into a smirk. "Come on, I'll show you instead."

They moved through the ground floor to Quinn's studio, essentially a large empty, white room, save for photographic equipment and bizarrely, a children's inflatable paddling pool situated on top of a low table.

Beneath the table were assorted plastic bottles bearing brightly colored liquid of various shades and suspended above the inflatable were two wine glasses glued onto barely visible wire.

"I've been using flash to freeze the liquids in the air. I play around with the colors and swing the glasses into each other, then fire the lights at the same time as the camera and I get some cool combinations of colour and motion."

Rachel watched Quinn pour purple and lime green liquid into the glasses and then set up her camera and a flash gun. Firing a few test shots, she seemed happy and then threw a plain grey sweater at Rachel. "Do me a favor and put that on."

"What for?"

"Your bright white top is reflecting into the green on my photo," she motioned Rachel to take a look at the laptop that was tethered to the camera.

"Oh my gosh, I wouldn't even have noticed, but it's really obvious now you point it out."

Quinn shrugged. She rarely wore grey clothes; it was such a drab color, but she hardly ever worked in anything else in the studio.

Rachel watched Quinn get to work and admired the ease with which she created her pictures. Occasionally she would break off and check through the batches of shots to select those worth editing. The blonde eased around the studio with the now familiar fluidity of movement that belied her disability.

"What's this for?"

"Mostly, it's just fun, but I have a commission from a company who make expensive wine glasses. Not that I'm using the real ones for this, they would just smash. They had plastic ones made in a variety of their designs so they look the same as the real thing. I didn't invent this style, it's been done plenty of times before but it pays the mortgage."

"I'll edit them later and give them a little polish before sending the proofs to the company. If they like them, they pay me, if they don't, I get to market them elsewhere."

"Ooh, I like that one," Rachel pointed at the screen with a splash of orange and green suspended magically in the air above two glasses.

Quinn nodded and quickly did something to remove the wires with Photoshop and a couple more tweaks later she rolled back a couple of feet and admired her handiwork.

"I like this one too," she nodded. "It might make the final selection."

Rachel was sat on a stool with her chin propped on her hand and a smile plastered across her face as her best friend did something clever on the laptop. When she was done she took her camera off the tripod and gave it a quick wipe over to remove the odd drop of liquid. Glancing up at Rachel, she smiled and then brought the camera up to her eye before firing off a few quick shots.

Rachel's face morphed into a vague protest because she wasn't wearing any make-up and still had on Quinn's grey sweater.

"If you're going to take my picture, at least let me go to the powder room first."

Quinn just chuckled. "Rach, I'm not going to post them online or send them to the tabloids." She quickly checked the screen on the camera. "Take a look," she nodded at the laptop where the pictures quickly flashed up.

Rachel glanced and actually smiled. "They look kinda nice actually." There was a little pink blush across her cheeks.

"Of course they do, I took them," the blonde shrugged. "And they look natural, not pre-posed or manufactured. Sometimes natural is best. You have never really needed make-up to look good, Rach."

Rachel blushed a little. "You always say that."

"It's true," she shrugged. "I don't think I've ever even seen a zit on you."

"I had one once," Rachel protested. "And there's the little scar on my brow, that sometimes shows up."

The blonde rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Stop fretting and let's go get some coffee."

Rachel stripped off the sweater and hung it on a peg by the door. "I really enjoyed watching you work. Thanks for letting me see."

Quinn rolled back through the house. It was quiet with Beth at school and Santana at the office.

"Don't you get lonely working at home?"

The blonde shook her head. "It's not this quiet every day, but even when it is, I'm never lonely on my own. I've always been happy in my own company."

"I don't think I've ever been happy on my own. I used to get very lonely when I was younger and I didn't really have many friends."

Quinn took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "But you have friends now so it's not a problem, right?"

"Kind of. Kurt and I are still close, and some of my cast mates from shows, but it's not like at school. I still miss everyone."

Quinn smiled. "So do I sometimes, but we can't live in the past."

"I think I've been doing that a little bit," Rachel admitted. "I compare everyone to the friends I had in glee club and they mostly come up short. I think I might be tiring of all the people who are nice to you because they want something from you. Do you know what I mean?"

"Is it that hard to tell what people are really like?"

"For me it is. I don't have you or Santana to set me straight when someone isn't genuine."

A few moments of quiet passed as Quinn went to the fridge and offered Rachel a bottle of water before taking a sip from her own.

"We should go shopping," Rachel suggested. "What's the choice like around here?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's just the same as everywhere else in the US. It's not Manhattan that's for sure," she warned her friend. "I guess we could go now and still be back to pick up Beth from school."

"Tell me there's a decent department store at least?"

Quinn smiled. "There is, Macy's" she motioned to the door. "Let me just change quickly and get my stuff," she disappeared for ten minutes and returned with her phone and car keys.

"We're driving?"

"I'm driving. How else are we going to get there?"

"We could take a cab," Rachel suggested. "We can go for a glass of wine then."

Quinn raised her eyebrow. "It's lunchtime and I only drink one or two glasses a week, not a day. I'll drive but you can have a glass of wine if you want."

Rachel waved away the suggestion and they went out to the car. Rachel waited for Quinn to load herself in and then put the wheelchair on the back seat before climbing in.

"This is exciting, it's years since we've done anything like this, just the two of us."

Quinn glanced in the rear view mirror and then nodded. "It is, in fact I can't even remember when we last did this."

—

April 2011, Lima, Ohio

"I'm not going," Quinn shrugged nonchalantly.

"You have to go," Rachel protested.

"Of course she's going," Santana rolled her eyes. "You need a date is all."

"Are you offering?" Quinn teased.

"Shut up, Fabray," the Latina would have said more had the audience been larger.

"Artie and Brit broke up so he will probably ask you." Rachel filed a nail and glanced at it.

"Why would Artie ask me?"

Rachel paused for a moment and thought about it.

Quinn was a bit irritated. "Just because we have a disability in common, you think that only someone else in a chair is going to be interested? That's a little prejudice and probably offensive, Rach."

Rachel's face fell. "I didn't mean it like that, honestly. I just meant because you and he are close now, you spend a lot of time together practicing and …. I would never want you to feel like I was prejudice."

Quinn nodded. "Artie's just a friend. He's helped me out a lot, but there's nothing else between us. I don't know why I got so defensive about that actually, it's not like anyone else has shown an interest in me since the accident."

"Are you ready for that?" Santana was curious.

A shrug followed. "I don't know, but it would be nice to be asked."

"If you were a boy, I would totally be after you," Rachel let her thoughts run out of her mouth.

Quinn turned and glanced at the brunette before they all broke into a fit of giggles.

"So on the assumption that someone will ask you out, I am repeating my original question; do you want to go dress shopping together for junior prom?"

Quinn sighed. "I guess I could just go stag if no one asks me," she replied.

"That's the spirit, glad to see optimism alive and kicking in you," Santana clamped a hand over her own mouth, realising what she'd just said. She spoke a silent prayer that maybe Quinn wouldn't notice but as she dropped her hand and glanced she found the familiar raised eyebrow aimed at her. "Okay, God, sorry I wasn't thinking."

The eyebrow remained raised for a few moments until the shoulders started shaking and then Quinn actually doubled over with laughter.

Santana smacked her on the shoulder with a half smile on her face, which rapidly descended into giggles because hearing Quinn laugh was such a good sound. It was almost as good as the imaginary 'yes' she heard the blonde say when her imaginary self asked the blonde out, but every time she wanted to do it, something stopped her.

She wasn't sure if it was her own lack of courage, worrying that Quinn really wasn't ready to think about dating anyone yet or the fear of being turned down because despite the moderate flirting, Quinn had never actually said she was interested; whatever it was, climbing that mountain seemed just too insurmountable right now.

—


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for the feedback as always on the last chapter.

The usual disclaimer applies

Chapter 10

"Black is too harsh for you and white is too wedding dress. I think maybe powder blue or yellow perhaps." Rachel flicked through a rack of dresses at the only decent dress shop in the mall. "Maybe we should have gone somewhere with more choice, like Columbus or Dayton."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Just let me pick something and try it on so I can get out of here."

"Blue, definitely," Santana agreed with Rachel. "Or maybe green?"

Quinn didn't like the sound of green. "I'll look like a bush parked in the corner, no green."

"But you have green eyes," Rachel nodded. "I think green would look nice, not like emerald or anything, but paler, softer."

Quinn thought about it for a moment and then sighed. "Maybe you're right." She pointed to a pale green dress. "That one actually looks okay, grab it for me please?"

They took their choices and went to try them on. Quinn glanced at the queue. There was a long line of McKinley juniors waiting to take their turn; it seemed the entire year had turned up at the same time.

"Excuse me, miss?" The assistant called out twice before she got Quinn's attention. "The accessible changing room is free right now, would you like to follow me?"

"Awesome," Santana started to follow, glad to be skipping the line.

Quinn shook her head and apologetically made her way past the others. There could have been some negative comments but as most knew her, they stayed quiet or just nodded to her as she passed by.

"I feel bad for skipping the line," the blonde mumbled as the three of them went into the large room.

"Why? I would milk it for all its worth, just like the parking," the Latina hung Quinn's dress and then her own.

Quinn's raised eyebrow was followed by a small grin. "I think maybe I should get one of those T-shirts with 'I'm only it for the parking' on the front," she joked, causing the other two to chuckle, both relieved that she had taken Santana's thou-away line in the spirit it was intended.

Quinn waited for the other two to change quickly. Santana unsurprisingly chose red and looked amazing in it, while Rachel had a black dress and similarly looked fantastic, and much older than usual.

The blonde glanced down at herself and wondered how much she would even be able to do on her own. She couldn't even reach the damn dress because Santana had hung it on the high peg; the lower one would have had the dress dragging on the floor.

"I'm just going to slip it on over my clothes," she sighed as Rachel took it down for her.

"Why?"

"Because it's a pain to get undressed. I usually do it on the bed."

"There's a bench that's big enough," Santana nodded.

Quinn bristled slightly. In truth, she didn't want them seen her without much on. She was worried about her appearance.

The blonde sighed, her eyes firmly fixed on her fingers, which were crossed in her lap. "Okay, just… I'll need help."

Rachel dropped her hand on Quinn's shoulder and squeezed it. "Why do you think we're here?" She staved off the blonde's attempt at arguing by shrugging and pointing out just about everyone needed help getting into a long dress for a special occasion anyway.

—

Quinn nervously tugged at the dress. "Mom?"

A few moments later Judy appeared with Beth in her arms. "Oh, honey, you look beautiful." Beth reached out towards Quinn, so she held the wheel of her chair with one hand and reached out to pull her into her lap. "Did you need something?"

"Can you pin my hair up please?"

Judy took the decorative grip from Quinn and fastened her hair back on one side while her daughter and granddaughter had a conversation, though in terms of anything meaningful, only one of the two produced a coherent sentence, the younger just babbled happy noises and stuck her fist in her mouth.

It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door and Sam's grinning face appeared. Judy liked the young man, though he was hardly the intellectual type, he was nevertheless good-natured and polite.

"Wow, Quinn you look amazing and you too Beth," he grinned at them. "The other guys are going to be so jealous, I get to have the two best looking blonde's in Lima on my arm for the evening. Scratch that," he looked at Judy with a cheeky grin. "Make that the best three looking blondes."

Judy gushed, a little embarrassed but enjoying the flattery.

Quinn gave him a quirky smile. "I doubt that, dragging me around the dance floor, but thank you."

"Quinnie, don't say things like that." Judy didn't like her to sound so disparaging about herself. She was still as beautiful as she had always been.

She shrugged and handed Beth back to her mom. She knew that Sam was a sweet guy, but they weren't the most compatible pair in the world. Everyone thought they were a great looking couple together and that was true, but Sam was like an eight year old boy; it was like dating a puppy dog. He was all eager and excitable, but not really charming beyond the obvious swagger and lame impressions; he didn't really present much of a challenge.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to put a downer on things." She glanced him up and down. "You look really handsome in a suit," she smiled. "I'm proud to be going with you."

"Your chariot awaits Miss Fabray," he pointed to the driveway. "Actually its just my truck but I cleaned and polished it especially for tonight."

Totally puppy dog.

—

Artie was leading the Glee guys in a party song, something by One Direction. The girls were gathered on the edge of the dance floor. Rachel was having some kind of moral dilemma, which she did on a fairly regular basis, because 'Jesse the douche' was back in town and he and Finn were almost brawling over the brunette until Sue threw the both of them out. She looked bereft as if it was the end of the world.

Quinn hadn't met Jesse before, but the others had filled him in. Santana had described him as a pretty boy with great presence, but about as real as an artificial Christmas tree. Quinn got the idea he was as shallow as a puddle. Finn at least, though a little thoughtless and occasionally selfish, was a good guy with some morals. She hoped he and Rachel could work out the kinks in their relationship. They both seemed to rebound more often than a trampoline.

"Maybe Coach Sue will let them back in after they cool off," Santana placated Rachel.

Quinn gave a wry smile that suggested she doubted that, but gave Rachel's hand a little squeeze of sympathy.

"We're all in the same boat; Sam has spent more time on the stage than he has with me. I think I'm just cramping his style."

"You're really not. I think that's his dad's suit," Santana countered. "He's like a pre-pubescent kid."

Quinn elbowed her in the side.

"What? It's true I swear." She just looked at the blonde and then started laughing. "Hey at least you have a date for the evening."

"Rach had two but they're both off cooling their heels; we're all just losers."

"Screw that. Let's dance anyway," Santana shoved the back of Quinn's chair forwards. "Come on Fabray, show me your moves."

Slightly caught off guard, Quinn grabbed the wheels but lost balance with Santana pushing her from behind and had to push herself upright again. "Jeez, San. You keep forgetting."

A small grimace crossed the Latina's face as she recognised her faux pas. "Sorry, but you shouldn't have slammed the brakes on, Q."

"You should be more careful when you shove me," a half laugh bubbled up.

"Oh for goodness sake," Rachel intervened. "The pair of you bicker like a married couple. Come on, let's go sing something instead. Show the boys how it's really done."

A strange look crossed Santana's face at the diva's words, but she masked it quickly and plastered a big smile back on her face as she moved to the backstage area.

As she always did, Quinn filed that bit of information for later when she could talk to Santana alone.

—

2020 Riverside, Connecticut

"I just know you want to plug your phone into the stereo," Quinn gave Rachel a wry grin and watched as she eagerly accepted the invite.

"Oh I love this one," Rachel cooed as one of her recent favourites played through the speakers. "Do you still sing?"

Quinn shook her head. "Not these days, unless you count singing in the shower or the car."

"That's really sad, you have a lovely voice."

"I'm out of practice," Quinn admitted. "Beth's not really musical, more athletic so I guess we just don't have as much interest as we used to in performing."

"Santana?"

"Same really, she works a lot and we tend to go to the tennis club if we have spare time."

"I think I might cry," Rachel seemed sad. "You loved to sing, Santana too."

"I guess. Things just got away from us. Our friends aren't really so musical either."

"Do you still play?"

"Guitar?"

Rachel nodded.

"I do actually, but only for my own enjoyment when I have a little time to myself. Beth asked me to teach her, but she's impatient still and fidgets too much. Until she's a bit more mature its pointless."

Rachel was quiet for a while. I loved listening to you play and sing. When we get home tonight, do you think maybe we could have a little music after dinner, perhaps perform something together again. I miss singing with you and Santana."

Quinn was thoughtful. She didn't know why they didn't do that anymore. "That actually sounds nice," she grinned. "I think Calvin is coming over actually."

"Does he sing?" Rachel perked up at that.

"I actually have no idea, you'll have to ask him."

—

May 2011

New York City

"I can't believe we're finally here," Rachel breathed in the warm city air as though it was nectar.

"I cant believe someone hasn't punched you yet," Santana muttered under her breath and then caught a look of disapproval from Quinn.

Mercedes and Kurt were equally excited and staring at everything and everyone around them. Brittany sat on the bottom step looking confused at the schedule she had been given. Quinn glanced and had to look twice to figure out why Brit was perplexed. She didn't even say anything to the other blonde, simply pulled the schedule out of her hands, flipped it up the correct way round and pushed back into her friend's hand.

"Thanks, I wondered why it was so hard to read."

Quinn shook her head with a half smile and roll of the eyes. She had her doubts about her presence in the contest but kept it to herself for now. The others were just so excited, she didn't want to spoil things. She had intended to stay home and let them go without her, but the truth was that they needed her, crazy at it seemed; she was a liability in the dance parts but they needed twelve members and she made them twelve. That said, she always had the feeling that their regionals victory could have been on the back of the sympathy vote and she doubted that would work at nationals from what she'd heard about the judging. Still they had Rachel and that counted for something.

"Cat got your tongue?" Puck sat on the steps beside her chair.

"What?" Absent minded, she hadn't been listening to him.

"You haven't said much today," Puck met her gaze.

She shrugged. "I'm just nervous about performing at such a big competition. I've never been on stage in front of this many people before."

"Don't sweat it, I actually think we have a chance with our secret weapons."

"Rachel and Mercedes?" Quinn glanced over her shoulder at her friends whose nervous excitement was making them a little hyper.

"Nah, the guns," Puck replied with a grin and flexing his biceps for emphasis.

Quinn just laughed at him. He may be an ass some of the time, but he also knew how to make her laugh with some well timed, self-love.

She punched him lightly in the arm. "You're a total jerk sometimes," she grinned at him.

"But a loveable one, right?" He held his arms out for a quick hug.

Shaking her head with a chuckle, she reciprocated and they shared a squeeze. As she let him go, Quinn noticed a look of concern on Santana's face and she once again had the feeling that the Latina had a flash of jealousy wash over her.

—

Quinn emerged from the bathroom into the bedroom. She had a towel draped over her legs and dropped her washbag on the bed.

"I'm all done. Sorry I hogged the bathroom for so long."

Santana passed her and waved away the apology. "Don't sweat it."

Rachel watched as Quinn self-consciously removed the towel. "Everything okay?" They all still worried about her, even if they didn't voice it often.

Quinn nodded. "It just still takes a while. I should have arranged a room on my own maybe," she scrunched her nose in thought.

"Why?" Rachel didn't care that things took a little longer with Quinn around.

She shrugged in reply. "I just always feel like I'm holding everything up. We'll be the last to arrive everywhere and the first to leave. I feel bad that you guys always have to put up with that." She slid over to the bed and lifted her legs up until they were stretched out in front of her. Taking the cropped linen pants she had lined up for the evening, she started to dress her lower half.

"Quinn, can I ask you something?"

The blonde nodded.

"Why don't you wear skirts or dresses?"

"I do occasionally," she looked up, but continued hitching the pants higher.

"I know but you used to wear them more often…" Rachel avoided adding 'before the accident.'

Quinn just raised her eyebrows to acknowledge that.

"Do you worry about it now?"

"Maybe, a little. I've stopped thinking about what I used to do and how I used to do it, if possible. I guess I just got out of the habit." She glanced down at her legs and frowned.

"Are you embarrassed about them?"

Quinn liked Rachel's directness usually but she had perhaps touched a raw nerve, if that was even possible. A small grin suddenly appeared on Quinn's face.

"What's funny?" the brunette asked, confused at the sudden change of emotion.

Quinn shook her head. "I just thought of a funny turn of phrase and it made me smile. It's not important," she sat upright, balancing on her hands. "Do they look awful? I think they look awful now, but maybe it's just that I'm always comparing before and after."

"They don't look awful. A little pale maybe, but you shouldn't be worried about letting people see them."

"I think it's because I had the bag when I first got hurt; I was so ashamed about it that I kept them covered all the time and I guess it just became a habit. They are really pasty white," she poked at her thigh with a frown. "I should get some sun on them, but they said in rehab to be careful that I don't burn because I'm pretty fair and I wouldn't be able to feel myself frying."

The frown fell away and she sighed. "I wish this was less complicated." She pushed forwards and her hips slid into the pants.

Rachel watched and grinned. "That's a neat trick."

Quinn gave a little smile. "I've learned a lot I guess." She folded one leg up so she could put on her flat ballet pumps. Once she was done, she shoved her nearest leg off the mattress.

Santana arrived back in the room and Rachel moved towards the bathroom.

"Tell Quinn she needs to let people see her legs more often," Rachel mentioned to the taller brunette as they passed by each other.

Santana looked bemused and turned to Quinn. "What's she talking about?"

Quinn shrugged.

"Why does she want you to wear a dress?"

"She thinks I shouldn't be embarrassed to show my legs."

"She's right, but if you tell her that I said that I might have to kill you," the Latina replied half-joking as she dropped into an armchair and watched Quinn get back into her chair. "So why don't you?"

"I'm not a cheerleader," Quinn quipped.

Santana just laughed. "No but you were pretty happy to let everyone see a bit of skin before your accident. Why not now? You're still hot."

The blonde glanced up and blushed, but noticed Santana had also done the same.

"Look, we've been dancing around each other for a while now…." the Latina glanced up through her lashes, not quite believing she had finally dared to let the idea out of her mouth, "don't you think its time we did something about that?"

Quinn met the steady gaze. She slowly released the breath she was holding and scrunched up her nose.

"I'm gay, Quinn. I have known that for a while and wouldn't let anyone see, but I decided to be braver about it and so I'm asking you to do the same. You've toyed with me and I am tired of the innuendo. I think you're about the bravest person I know, so are you willing to take a chance as well?"

Quinn shook her head. "I'm really not brave… and surely you can't be interested now?" She glanced at her legs as if it was obvious.

"Please! You took on those bitch Cheerios and me; never even flinched when the slushy hit, plus you befriended Berry and that is more courageous than anything else I might have witnessed."

Quinn smiled and shrugged.

"So how about it? Ready to be brave?"

"Santana, I'm not sure about any of this, really. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Why would you possibly be interested in me when you could have anyone you wanted?"

Santana stood and paced a while. "Everyone else worries when I'm around. They think I will fly off the handle and lose it with them. I know I can be a little fierce but it's hard when you have something you want to tell everyone and can't." She turned back and stared at Quinn. "You just look me in the eye and call me out. You do that because you aren't afraid of what I might do."

Turning away again, her voice dropped a little. "I liked you from the first moment I saw you walk into Glee at the start of the year but I didn't think you would be interested. I thought you were straight because the boys all flocked around and you talked to them, but then I noticed how you always turned them down and I began to hope."

Quinn followed Santana's pacing but waited for her to finish. It was about the longest, most honest conversation they'd had.

"When I found out about Beth, I figured you were just off boys because you got knocked up, but then you kissed me."

"You slapped me," Quinn chuckled.

"You slapped me back," Santana grinned.

"I am a genius slapper."

"You really are," the Latina put her hands on her hips, growing slightly more serious. "Are you messing with me because you get some sick pleasure out of playing mind games or were you actually interested?"

"I wasn't messing you around," Quinn's eyes narrowed. "I don't ever want to talk about Beth's father okay? I always had older friends in San Fransisco; maybe because I was an only child, or was tall for my age, but people treated me like I was older. Then I realised that my friends were all doing it with boys; they used to kind of tease me a little because I was a virgin and they weren't. So I went to this party and there was booze. I hadn't really drunk before, or even made out much with guys, so add the two together and a desperate attempt to catch up with the other girls; it was a total mess. I don't even remember much about it."

"You weren't, you know?"

"Raped?"

Santana nodded with a pained expression.

Quinn shook her head immediately. "No I was all too willing to let loose. My friends tried to stop me going off with the guy, but I wouldn't have any of it and that was that. Stupid attempt to persuade myself that I was really interested in boys."

"But you weren't?"

Quinn shook her head and caught her lip between her teeth. "I can't believe how ridiculously foolish I was now. I look back and think it must have been temporary insanity. I guess I was just desperate to fit in and feel like the other girls and …" a small sniff was followed by a few tears. "I'm paying the price in all kinds of ways now though." She shook her head and wiped the wet from her cheek.

Santana approached. "Don't beat yourself up about it. Beth's really cute. I wouldn't ever be embarrassed to admit she was mine if I were you."

"Really?" Quinn had half a smile.

The Latina nodded. "For sure."

"That's probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me."

Santana shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed. "She's cute … but you're much more my type."

Tentatively, the Latina reached out and placed a hand on Quinn's knee. "If you're willing to take a chance with a coward like me, I'd be honored."

That got a smile from the blonde, remembering the insults the pair had thrown at each other after slushies were thrown. Quinn looked at the hand and placed her own on top so she could feel it. With a shy smile, she met Santana's gaze. "I want to say yes, but I really don't know if I can trust myself anymore. There are things you don't understand about my disability and it's not very nice."

Santana made a dismissive noise. "I don't care about that."

"No, Santana listen to me. I haven't told anyone, but there are things that I wouldn't ever want you to see and don't you get how awkward that would be?" Quinn was pleading with the other girl. "Plus, I have a baby for God's sake. How awkward is that?"  
Santana continued to shake her head at the protests. "I still don't care about those things. I get that it's not going to be easy sometimes, but you can't stop living just because of this." She nodded down at Quinn's legs and took her hand. Turning it over she ran her fingers over the hardened skin at the base of the fingers.

Quinn frowned again, but found the Latina lift the hand gently to her mouth and kiss it. "I don't care about the things you think I should care about. I want to be with you; I have for months and you've avoided this talk. I let you because I knew how much crap you were dealing with, but its time to move forwards now and that means resolving whatever it is between us. It's been there since we met and it's not going to go away anytime soon."

Quinn took a deep breath. "I can't have an audience for this. Whatever it is you are planning has to be just the two of us."

Santana smiled and nodded. "Okay then. You can feign exhaustion and I'll offer to stay with you while the others go to dinner. We'll get room service or whatever and eat here."

"Do you think Rachel will buy that?"

Santana shrugged. "We could just tell her I guess."

Quinn eyed the other girl. "You understand that she admits to a complete lack of discretion?"

"I don't care anymore," Santana squeezed the hand she was still holding. "I am tired of hiding who I really am."

Quinn smiled shyly and nodded. "Me too."

—

Rachel's face had the most satisfied grin imaginable as she listened to Santana's explanation.

"I knew it," Rachel sighed with satisfaction. "I knew at the party when we played spin the bottle. I could tell something was up and your face went purple on finding out Quinn had a daughter."

Quinn's face darkened at the memory of that night and the after effects she was now living with. Rachel noticed and immediately became apologetic. "Quinn, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up like that."

"Save it, Rach. It's fine. I need to move forwards, right?" She took Santana's hand and gave it a squeeze. "But I don't want to be the subject of idle gossip. You are the only person who knows anything and we don't even know ourselves if this is going to work, so until we do, you need to keep it to yourself."

Rachel batted her eyelids. "I know I can be a bit indiscrete but I won't tell anyone about this until you're ready for people to know. I give you my word."

Santana actually gave Rachel a hug, startling the shorter girl, then shooing her out the door to meet the others with a plausible explanation.

—

"What do you mean, Quinn's taking a nap?" Mercedes looked a little surprised.

Mr Schue glanced at the girls with concern. "Is she alright? Do we need to get a doctor?"

"She's just a little tired and didn't want to go out to eat dinner. Santana offered to sit with her and said they would either get take-out or room service to bring something." Rachel wasn't a good liar but found she was at least telling the truth in that part.

"I'm going to go see her and make sure she's alright," Mr Schue announced. "Wait here and I'll be back shortly." The teacher left them behind and went to check, reappearing a few minutes later.

"Is Quinn alright?" Kurt looked concerned as well.

"She's absolutely fine guys. We covered some ground sightseeing and she said her arms were aching a little and she was going to rest up so that she was fully recovered for the show tomorrow. Santana is with her and they have my number if there is a problem." He encouraged them out of the door towards the restaurant.

Rachel heaved a sigh of relief that she hadn't had to lie to protect her friends.

—

"So what would you like to order?" Santana passed the menu to Quinn who was lying on the bed in a relaxed state.

"I guess something light. I'm not that hungry. Maybe a salad."

"You can't exist on salad, order a steak as well."

Quinn looked uncertain. "I'd prefer chicken or salmon maybe."

The Latina nodded. "Anything else?"

"A bottle of water. Maybe some bread?"

Santana made a note of what they wanted and called to room service. After the phone went back in the cradle, she came and sat beside Quinn on the bed.

"This kind of feels grown up, ordering room service and staying in together instead of going out. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Maybe later," Quinn fiddled with her fingers nervously.

Santana put her hand on top, her darker skin contrasting against Quinn's.

"Are you hungry for something other than food?"

Again the blonde looked nervously and shrugged, chewing her lip slightly.

Before she could worry the skin, she found Santana's lips pressed against her own.

—

2020, Stamford, Connecticut

Quinn pulled into the handicap parking space and turned off the engine. Rachel decamped and pulled out the frame of her wheelchair and deposited it so Quinn could reassemble it.

As she reached out to attach a wheel, her phone buzzed.

"Rach, can you just put that on without breaking a nail while I check my phone?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at the witty remark and started to assemble the chair while Quinn pulled her phone from the cradle on the dash.

"It's just Santana asking how we are. She wants to know if we'd like to meet her for lunch?"

"Sounds great," Rachel grinned as she set the chair back beside the car door, complete with wheels, cushion and backrest now in the correct place. "Where shall we meet her?"

"I'll tell her to find us in the mall. Her office is just a block away."

"I've never seen her office."

"We just drove past it, the big tall building. Her office is on the fifth floor. She'll meet us here though."

Quinn fired off a text and then slid into the chair.

"So I was thinking of asking Calvin to dinner again at the weekend. Is that alright with you?"

"It's not up to me who you ask to dinner; he's your friend." Rachel had a little smile on her face though.

"I know, what I really meant was, would you like me to invite him?" Quinn gave her a look that said there was an ulterior motive.

"You don't need to try and fix me up with a friend because I'm single right now."

"He likes you, Rach. Does that seem such a difficult concept?"

Rachel paused for a moment. "It's nice of you to ask but if the only reason is to get us together, please don't. I'm not in the right place for it."

Quinn sighed. "God, you're hard work sometimes, Berry!" She was a little exasperated with her oldest friend.

"I'm going to channel my energy into my work instead."

It was a very Berry-like thing to say, only it sounded empty to the blonde. Rachel had done a lot of talking but not a lot of singing since she'd arrived and that wasn't like her.

—

Calvin arrived a little before seven, pleased that he'd arrived on time for a change and he thanked the careful drivers of the region for not getting themselves smashed up that afternoon to spoil his dinner plans.

"Hey, Beth." He gave her a hug as the girl let him in. He had a key but always knocked and waited to be let in.

"Hi Calvin. Did you save anyone today?" She always asked him that. He wasn't sure if it was to do with her mother's accident but he often lied and said he did even if someone hadn't made it just in case.

"Actually we had a quiet afternoon with no major trauma today. I did get someone with a serious case of food poisoning though. Very messy," he pulled a face that suggested it hadn't been pleasant.

"Yuck!"

"Exactly," he nodded.

Beth dragged him in by the hand.

"Mom, Calvin's here," the girl yelled.

Quinn was wearing an apron as she rolled out to meet her dinner guest. "Beth, indoor voice please," she rolled her eyes as he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

Beth apologised and then dragged Calvin off to see Rachel and Santana in the kitchen. He was gracious as Santana gave him a hug and then he cautiously approached Rachel to greet her. He wasn't sure if their previous meeting meant he could get away with a little kiss or the more formal hand shake. He decided that she might appreciate a little flamboyance as she was in the theater.

"Ms Berry," he took her hand and raised it to his lips for a kiss. "A delight to see you again."

Rachel actually blushed.

"You're so old-fashioned," she smiled.

"In a good, chivalrous kind of way rather than behaves like my dad kind of way, right?"

"Oh, absolutely," Rachel's grin persisted until she saw Santana wink at Quinn.

—

"So feeling energetic ahead of our game tomorrow?" Calvin had smug grin across his face.

"I am and I have no idea why you're smiling like a fool because you are going down." The blonde motioned with her hands to suggest Calvin didn't stand a chance.

"Hey if you didn't get two bounces before you return the ball, there's no way I'd lose," he defended himself.

"Yeah and if I had working legs, you wouldn't even be able to return my serve," she produced a dry laugh.

"No fair, pulling the paraplegic card," he sulked.

"You started it," she waved at him. "Coffee everyone?"

"Ooh, I'll make it," Rachel jumped up.

Santana raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought you were allergic to the kitchen."

"Santana, I'll have you know that I can cook."

"You can?" Quinn did a double-take.

"Yes, well there was some advantage to dating a celebrity chef for a while." She moved towards the kitchen. "And I do make good coffee."

Calvin sipped the hot liquid.

"That is good coffee. I feel like I could be a better doctor if I got that to drink instead of the sludge in the hospital cafeteria."

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Glad we can trust the medical profession to stay awake without drugs," she mused, half-teasing. She had decaf and was allowed to be sanctimonious.

"Funny," Calvin turned to Rachel. "Would you like to join us for a game of tennis tomorrow?"

Santana spluttered. "Son of a …"

"Tana!"

"Sorry, but did you need to make me laugh when I had a mouthful of hot coffee."

Quinn just looked bemused. "Rachel is not really a fan of tennis, Calvin."

"I am in the room you know," Rachel bristled slightly. "Maybe I learned to play since we last talked, like I learned to cook."

"Did you? You always hated it at school."

Rachel couldn't keep up the pretence. "No, I'm terrible at tennis," she patted Calvin on the arm. "Thank you for asking but I think I'll pass."

"Aunt Rach please come with us," Beth pleaded. "You'll really like it."

Rachel couldn't really resist her goddaughter.

"Pleeeeeeeeease," Beth asked again. "I can show you how good I got."

"Okay, I'll come with you, but I am just going to watch. I satisfy my exercise requirements at the gym." The self-depracating tone drew a chuckle all round.

—

"You're staying, right?"

"If you'll have me. I don't want to impose when you already have one house guest."

Santana waved to suggest it was fine.

"Come on Beth, bed time."

A pout fell on the girl's face.

"Don't pull that one on me," Santana wrapped an arm around her. "Kiss everyone goodnight."

She did as Santana asked and then ran upstairs.

"I'll check on her in a little while," Santana motioned.

"It's okay, I'll go," Quinn went towards the elevator in the hallway beyond.

"Beth has you totally whipped, Rach."

"You say that as though you aren't wrapped around her little finger."

"Touche," Santana acknowledged.

"So tell me about how you met Quinn," Calvin insisted Rachel finally tell him.

A smile spread across the petite woman's features. "She saved me from being slushied by some cheerleaders one day and refused my suggestion that she ignored me afterwards if she wanted to avoid the same treatment herself."

"Wow, _you were bullied?"_

"I was for a while, but it stopped after Quinn befriended me."

Calvin shook his head. "I bet those girls feel pretty dumb now for what they did," he complimented her.

Rachel met Santana's apologetic gaze and winked at her. "I suppose they might. Water under the bridge."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Here's the next instalment, Enjoy!

The usual disclaimer applies

Chapter 11

Arriving at the tennis club, the group decamped from their cars and made their way inside. Beth ran ahead and excitedly met up with one of her friends and dragged the poor girl over to meet Rachel, before they both went to meet their coach. Quinn took Rachel to the bar so she could get some coffee and then showed her to the courts outside.

The sun beat down on the open air courts and Rachel could see the heat haze as she glanced along the row of tennis nets. The sound of bouncing tennis balls leaving the strings echoed around. The nearest court was empty and they made their way through the gate so Rachel and Santana could sit at the small table beside it. Santana rolled the empty tennis wheelchair beside the net and left it for her wife.

Quinn needed to switch to her tennis chair from the regular one and began to shift herself over, Santana hovered behind just in case there was a problem and just held her hands out as Quinn gave her a look which said it was unnecessary. Rachel smiled at Santana's protectiveness and then watched as the blonde threaded the slim legs into place. The tennis chair looked nothing like the regular one. It had steeply angled wheels at the back and two tiny wheels at the front. The blonde clipped the toes of her tennis shoes into place under the frame. She wore loose white shorts and the fact that the blonde spent a lot of her free time outside became evident as she adjusted her legs and the tan line across her thighs showed. Pads were drawn across the top of the thighs, squashing them slightly as a ratchet mechanism held her legs together. Finally Quinn pulled the padded belt tight around her belly; it had been clipped back out of the way but was needed so she didn't fall face first as she changed direction. Pulling a sun visor onto her head and tightening the pony tail that kept her hair out of her face, she was finally ready to take on Calvin.

Rachel turned her attention to the tall man. He looked hot in his whites, though she could do without the socks being pulled so far up, _a la_ Pete Sampras. Still, he did have a cute butt and it showed nicely in the shorts he was wearing.

He waited for Quinn to get her racket out and bounced the ball up and down a few times to get a feel for it.

Quinn rolled across the court to start warming up and Rachel admired the lean, muscular upper body that showed with the athletic vest her best friend wore.

"Quinn looks the part," the shorter brunette commented to Santana who sat beside her.

"Yeah, she looks amazing. I get tingles when I see her like this."

"I watched you hovering. She didn't like it, but I think it's cute."

Santana lifted her sunglasses up onto her brow and propped her chin on her hand. "She doesn't like me worrying but I always will anyway."

Rachel touched her arm and squeezed it. "She might think its not needed, but I think secretly she's glad you show you care. And she loves you to death."

Santana gave a lazy smile at the thought and turned back to Quinn, watching as she chased a ball and flung her racket out at it, the other hand firmly gripping the wheel to turn her immediately after she played it.

Calvin had to run into the net and failed to lift the dying ball over the tape. He stood hands on hips and sighed. Quinn was just too good at drop shots.

Rachel and Santana cheered the blonde and got a little wave in reply.

—

May 2011, Lima, Ohio

Santana was wearing the skimpiest shorts she owned. It wasn't an accident but she had moments of doubt as well. Would Quinn be attracted or offended by it?

Quinn was wearing track pants and a T-shirt as she dropped down the short ramp into the tennis court at school.

"Ready to see me embarrass myself?"

"I'm not that good you need be worried about it," Santana grinned. "I thought we were just giving this a try, like as in practice."

"Where's the fun in that?" Quinn responded. "I need to feel that burn from actually competing instead of just watching other people do it."

The Latina shrugged and waved at the court. "Go ahead then," she began to walk to one side of the net before stopping. "Hang on a minute. What are the rules? It doesn't seem fair with you in the chair and all."

Quinn just shrugged. "I think I'm allowed two bounces and that's about it."

Santana continued to the back of the court and then hit the ball over to warm up. She didn't try to make it hard for her opponent.

Quinn shoved the wheels a little to reach the ball and hit it back; their rally continuing until Santana hit it a little wider and the blonde failed to reach it in time. The Latina apologized but received a perplexed glance from her opposite number.

"Stop taking it easy on me," Quinn protested.

"I'm not, I'm just letting you get your eye in."

"You're taking it easy on me." It was a deadpan response and the hazel eyes fixed Santana to the ground.

The shoulders dropped slightly. "Okay. God, you're hard work sometimes Fabray! I'll play properly if that's what you want."

"I do," she grinned. "Hit me with your best shot."

Santana started singing the song of the same name to herself with a little smile on her lips.

She served the ball properly this time, which left Quinn floundering; the return went straight into the net.

"Fifteen-love," the Latina shouted out before switching sides and serving the next. This one went to Quinn's forehand and the return dropped just over the net leaving Santana short by some yards.

"Good return," she called out.

They proceeded to play a few games, Quinn getting in the odd decent shot but more often struggling to get close enough to the ball to play a winner. Santana was impressed and watched with fascination as Quinn got better and better, but each time she did, the Latina's response was to up the ante.

Eventually the blonde sighed as Santana took the set by winning every game. "I really need to work on my serve."

"I think the speed is the main problem and your turns are slow."

Quinn eyed the other girl. It was blunt honesty and she kind of liked it. Nodding she grinned. "Maybe I need to go into training."

Santana shrugged. "It's the only way to get better. Think about it like you went through rehab. When you started, everything was impossibly hard and then it just got easier as you pushed yourself."

Quinn giggled at that. "Like, literally!"

"Exactly. You can do anything you want to."

Quinn glanced around. The courts were deserted and they weren't overlooked. "What I really want to do is explore how much further your legs go on for," the sly grin spread across her mischievous features.

Santana took a deep breath.

"I know your mom is probably home right now, but my house is empty until six-thirty."

—

"So I was thinking you should check out some kind of handicapable tennis camp. Surely they have that sort of thing."

"I guess, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"Sure you are," Santana argued. "What are you waiting for? I mean you can push the wheels and hold the racket; how much more ready do you need to be?"

"I don't want to suck at it," Quinn slipped her shoes off before sliding onto the sofa. It was still a little difficult to move herself from one place to another without a board, but she was getting better at it. She slumped back into the soft leather of the sofa in Santana's den.

The Latina dropped beside her. "You want to lift your legs up here?" She invited the blonde to place her legs into her lap.

Quinn nodded and moved to lift one, but Santana stopped her.

"Let me," she pulled the lower legs up on top of her own, tugging them into place and letting Quinn find a comfy spot. "Okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Quinn's nose wrinkled and she had a moment of shyness. "Do you really think I'm ready for a tennis camp or something similar? I guess I could ask mom. I don't want to go away from home though, I need to do my share of looking after Beth."

Santana nodded. "Leave it with me. I used to have tennis lessons up until a couple of years ago; I'll ask my old coach if he knows anyone."

"Thanks," Quinn watched Santana massage her lower legs. "How come you're not freaked out by that?" The blonde nodded.

Santana shrugged. "I was a bit at first," she admitted. "It used to physically hurt me to watch you move your legs with your hands when you got hurt." It was an honest admission. "All I could think about was how amazingly well you had always moved. That time in the girls bathroom when you got slushied - I could barely contain myself."

A small smile appeared on Quinn's face and she nodded at the memory. "I remember," she poked Santana in the ribs. "You looked like a dog in heat."

"And you totally played me," the Latina grinned. Growing serious then for a moment, she looked down at the legs laying in lap. "I'm just as amazed by the way you move now though. Today on the court, you were graceful, though not necessarily quick sometimes and I think when you've really got to grips with this, you'll be every bit the head turner you used to be. I think you lost your confidence, which is understandable, but it's starting to come back; I miss that cocky swagger you always had and I really hope you find it again, even if its in a wheelchair. You still rock."

"That is probably the longest speech you ever made, without a single rant in there either," a smirk grew across Quinn's face. "I think I'm going to be okay one day; I'm not there yet but I feel stronger every day and I feel more like my old self, kinda."

Santana reached her arms out towards the blonde. "Scoot over," she wrapped her arms around Quinn's midsection and tugged her hips closer, both legs fell down beside her own. "Ow, you just kicked my shins!" The Latina joked and received a giggle in return.

The long pale arms wrapped themselves around Santana's shoulders and before either knew what was happening, lips brushed against one another and tongues probed. Quinn drew circles across the tan skin on Santana's upper arm, while the Latina supported the other girls torso, all the time maintaining the contact between their lips and each other.

—

"We should take Beth out to the park or something at the weekend," Santana suggested.

"She's still too little to play on the swings, you know that, right?" Quinn adjusted her clothing again, getting back into her chair after their pre-planned make-out session.

"I thought maybe I could take her down the slide in my arms or something, she's getting big now."

Quinn shrugged. "I guess we could ask mom to put the child seat in your car."

"How come you aren't driving yet? Surely it would be easier if you were."

"I'm going to take lessons over the vacation. My car needs hand controls fitting first though."

"So what's stopping you from getting it done?"

"Nothing really," Quinn reflected how much the accident had changed her. She used to be so independent, determinedly so. "I'm going to make myself a list of all the things I want to be able to do before we start back to school in August. Will you help if I need a hand?"

"Whatever you need, you just have to ask."

A sigh escaped Quinn's lips. "I think I might have found my mojo again."

Santana leaned over and gave Quinn a long meaningful kiss full on the lips. "You really have," she whispered.

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

Santana watched Quinn spin around on the base line and take a position to serve. She tossed the ball up and allowing it to just drop a fraction first, struck it as forcefully as she could.

Calvin returned wide to the corner, but Quinn had anticipated it and moved backwards, letting the ball bounce twice, she played a low cross court drive with a ton of back spin, making the ball die before Calvin could reach it.

Santana and Rachel cheered again.

"I think I might have lost the crowd," Calvin rolled his eyes. "Nice shot!"

"Thanks," Quinn replied as she moved across to the opposite side of the court, ready to take the next serve. "I think you might have to work your butt to win over at least one of them." The blonde nodded over at Rachel who was spending most of her time watching Calvin's rear. "I think you have a fan, or rather your backside does."

"I hate being objectified," he shook his head and starting laughing.

"Of course you do," Quinn replied, sarcastically.

—

"I'm not coming back until I feel ready," Rachel hissed into her phone.

There was a pause and then she repeated what she'd just said again only with more conviction.

"You are supposed to be my agent; you don't own me. I am taking the first extended break since … well since you know when. That's six years ago."

Another pause followed, Rachel clearly listening to the voice on the line. Santana had heard enough and walked behind Rachel, stole the phone out of her hand and yelled into the phone.

"Listen you fucking leech, leave her the hell alone; she said she wanted time out. Let her be or you'll have me to answer to."

She ended the call and threw the phone back to a dumbstruck Rachel.

"Santana! What the hell was that?"

"I thought it was kind of obvious that I was putting that slug of an agent in his place. You know, you really should find someone who is actually looking out for your best interests rather than simply lining their own pockets." She sat on the tall stool at the breakfast bar with some of Rachel's amazing coffee.

Rachel sputtered and protested, but the Latina took no notice, holding a hand up to stop any further protest.

"Rachel, sit down now," she kicked a stood towards the red-faced singer.

The diva just folded her arms and stomped her foot.

"Sit down!" Santana pointed.

There was a loud huff and the scrape of the stool on the wood floor.

Santana took a long drink. "You remember when Quinn and I used to dance around each other back in school?"

Rachel looked surprised. "Yes of course. It was almost painful to watch. You ached for her and she just didn't think she could be with anyone. It was like really bad car crash TV." Rachel spoke without thinking and just groaned.

Santana's shoulders shook as she chuckled silently. "That was a first class, politically incorrect thing to say to the wife of someone who almost died in a car accident."

Rachel's eyes fell briefly. "Quinn would just laugh if I told her that."

Santana thought about it for a moment. "Yeah she would." Dropping the coffee cup down, she turned and eyed Rachel. "You and I need a serious talk though. Quinn is having sleepless nights about you. She cares what happens to you and so do I. We love you like a sister and you're on the verge of pressing the self-destruct button. Rachel, you are hiding from the life you so desperately wanted, you're lonely but rejecting the opportunity to date anyone and drinking too much. I know you're not a drunk, but you don't go a day without it. You can tell me to fuck off but I think you're depressed and you need to see someone."

Rachel for once in her life had nothing to say. She sat very still for a moment and then she started crying.

Santana didn't know what to do at first. She hated Berry getting upset and couldn't deal but Quinn had taken Beth to a friend's and probably wouldn't be back for a while yet.

"Shit, why did you have to break down on me," she stood and wrapped Rachel in a hug. There were huge sobs and tears and snot. Rachel was a mess.

Eventually the crying subsided and came to a stop. "How did you know?"

"Please, look at who you're talking to," the Latina grabbed her by the hand and marched her into the living room and sat her on the sofa.

"What the hell is going on with you?"

Rachel tore at a tissue and sighed.

"I miss Finn," she said simply. "I thought I was over all this ages ago and promised myself that I would get on with living and not look back. I know he would never have wanted me pining away for him. He wasn't like that."

"No he wasn't." Santana had an idea that's what this was all about. Rachel had never quite taken the time to grieve that she should have. She had gone back to college and done what she needed to but without really letting go. Instead she had embarked on her career and an endless string of pretty boys who flattered her ego for a while until she was bored of the shallowness.

Santana sighed. "You know what you need to do?"

Rachel shook her head. "I need to do something, but I don't know what."

"You need to go home and take some time to think about what you lost when Finn died and you need to think about what you want from here on out."

"I know what I want," she mumbled. "I want what you have."

"Well you can't have Quinn or Beth, they're mine." She nudged Rachel with an elbow. "If you want a baby of your own, you better start looking for a suitable sperm donor unless you plan to start dating again."

Rachel allowed a small smile to cross her lips. "I don't necessarily want a baby right now, but I do want to find a soul mate; someone who makes me feel like I am the centre of their universe and vice versa."

Santana nodded. "Sorry if I was a bit blunt with you. I was never cut out for diplomacy."

Rachel laughed then. "It's fine. I prefer you to be direct with me. Do you really think I've been drinking too much?"

Santana shrugged. "That depends. Why are you drinking? If it's to escape or forget, you know the answer to that. If its to relax and unwind then, no, probably not."

Rachel looked down at her hands. "I think it's just become a habit because of the people I work with."

"Then maybe you need to think about how much you actually need or want and setting some limits. Besides that, maybe you should think about some grief counselling."

"But it's been years."

"I know," Santana looked at her, the stare never wavering.

Rachel watched for a flicker but she suddenly understood.

"You?"

The Latina didn't reply for a moment, then nodded.

"When?"

"About three years ago, just before we got married. I had never really dealt with what happened to her."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah."

"San…I didn't know."

Santana stood up and walked to the window, staring out at nothing in particular for a few moments. She didn't turn round.

"I…," she didn't know where to begin. "I didn't really think about it too much until we got this place planned and the next thing I know she had the fucking jigsaw box out telling me it had to go up on the wall."

"Oh," Rachel stood and approached. "Santana, if this is my fault, I'm really sorry."

Santana shook her head. "It wasn't the jigsaw that I had a problem with, that was just the trigger. Anything could have set me off. The problem was not allowing myself to deal with what happened at the time and doing like you have been, throwing myself into a career and forging ahead before I had dealt with all the shit from the past."

"What did you do?"

"Drank a lot of tequila for a couple of weeks until Quinn told me I was being a jerk and to sort myself out."

"You did it for her?"

"Of course I did. There isn't a whole lot in life I wouldn't do for her."

Rachel smiled. "Did you seek professional help?"

Santana nodded. "Grief counsellor. He was pretty good actually and got Quinn in too. We just talked about stuff and after a few sessions I realised I was holding in a lot of guilt for what happened. If I hadn't called her back that night, she and Kurt would have been on the road a couple of minutes sooner and wouldn't have been in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"But…"

"It wasn't my fault, Rach. I know that. It was just that I had built her up to be perfect in my head and couldn't accept that there was no such thing as perfect. Quinn wasn't perfect before the accident, no one is, but my image of who she was before and after weren't ever reconciled. I'm still a little over-protective, I know that and she might grumble but she accepts it. I was worse before. I would say all this stuff to encourage her and then try and stop her because I would worry that something would go wrong. I would phone her ten times a day to check she was okay. She'd be in the studio working and I kept interrupting. It drove her crazy. I don't do that anymore."

"It's not the same though. Quinn's alive and she's fine now. I'm never going to see Finn again."

Santana couldn't find the right words to explain things in a way that would show Rachel it was similar.

"Rach, the Quinn that arrived in Glee the start of junior year, she is dead. That Quinn got taken from me and the one I was left with wasn't the same."

Rachel looked astounded. "You think you got less?"

Santana shook her head. "No, but I'm not going to lie and say that Quinn is the same as she used to be. She isn't, not physically anyway. In some respects, she's more than before, but in other ways, less. It's not easy to explain, I just wanted to do it in a way that you would understand. I needed to grieve for the old Quinn that was lost and I didn't do that. The way she just used to swagger around and not give a shit about what anyone thought of her. I miss that Quinn sometimes. I don't think any less of her now, I love her with every beat of my heart, but we had to let go of some things and that was hard." Santana put her hands on her hips. "There were things I wanted from life that probably aren't possible because of what happened to her and it doesn't mean I am disappointed in her or what we have, just that you have to find some way to get rid of the disappointment over losing things you hoped for."

"Like what?"

A small shrug told Rachel the other woman was a little embarrassed. "We didn't get to properly dance at our wedding. Well we did dance, but it wasn't like I imagined it would be like and I know it bugged the shit out of Quinn that she couldn't walk down the aisle. Plus you know, other stuff. We can't always be very spontaneous and have to plan things out, which can be annoying and then even when you do plan things, she can get sick easily and the day is a bust. She liked to surf, did you know that? And she still can, but it's not the same as it was before."

Rachel chewed her lip. "I think I understand. But you still have her and that's the difference."

"I know. But you need to think about the things you wanted with Finn. They are still out there for you. Not with him, but with someone else. Calvin really is a nice guy, you know."

Rachel smiled. "He is, but honestly not my type. He kind of has the nice dorky side to him that I love, but he couldn't survive in my world. I don't want to stop doing what I love. It has to be someone who can live in my world without being corrupted by it."

Santana nodded and gave her a hug. "You going to be okay?"

She felt Rachel nod. "I don't suppose you planned on going back to Lima once Beth finishes school next week?"

A dry chuckle rose in her throat. "Is that your way of asking us to go with you?" Santana asked.

"Not if you have plans but you know, just if you were going to see your family or Quinn's, I might tag along, say hello to a few people, Mr Schue and my dads."

"I'll talk to Quinn tonight, okay?"

Rachel did a little happy dance. "Yay!"


	12. Chapter 12

thanks for the nice reviews to the last chapter

apologies this one has taken longer to get out, i've been away for a couple of weeks and haven't had much time to write.

the usual disclaimer applies

Chapter 12

2020 Lima, Ohio

Santana pushed Quinn's chair for her. She wasn't asked often, but the grass of the football field was a little bumpy and the castors tended to dig in so she offered and the blonde accepted. The chair didn't roll well on all four wheels, so Santana tipped the chair back and just pushed on the rear wheels alone. Quinn didn't speak, just placed her hands in her lap.

Quinn watched Rachel from a distance as they approached. She was stood in her little black dress, which seemed fitting for the occasion, staring at the thickening trunk of Finn's tree. They had planted it six years ago after he died and it was much larger than the last time she had seen it. It had only been a sapling back then, now it was bigger and stronger.

Neither spoke to announce their arrival, Santana just stopped a few feet away and waited; they didn't want to intrude.

"I miss you, Finn Hudson." Rachel put her hand on the carved word. "You were funny and kind most of the time, sometimes a little selfish, but always cared about me and your friends. They all miss you. You should have had longer."

She turned to look at her friends but didn't move.

"I wish more than anything that you were still here but I needed to come and say goodbye, finally. I love you, still after all this time, but I can't have you now, so I need to move on, but I had to come and tell you first. I made it, Finn and I know you would have been proud of me for that, but I wish you had been here to see it for yourself. You were always my biggest fan."

She looked up briefly, the tears stinging, her voice breaking. "I really hope its peaceful where you are, Finn. Part of you will always be with me and always in this place." She reached forwards again. "I loved you so much. Goodbye, sleep well."

Her hand retracted for a moment and she gathered herself, taking out a handkerchief to wipe her face, relieved she had made the wise decision to leave the mascara off today. She sniffed and stood looking at her tears as they turned the white cotton translucent. She then burst into tears, the hysterical kind and Quinn realised the meltdown was happening. She went to put her hands on the wheels, but Santana was already moving her forwards. She pulled Rachel into her lap and just held her for a long time, no attempt to get her to be quiet or calm down, just gentle reassurance and a hand rubbing her back.

Santana stood behind Quinn and watched the heartbreak all over again. She didn't interfere, just waited, her hands on her wife's shoulders to let her know she was there too.

None of them remembered how long they were there until a couple of students made their way over, concerned by what they were seeing.

"Everything alright ma'am?" Once of them asked Santana.

"Apart from you calling me ma'am, yes."

"Sorry, I meant miss," he apologised.

Santana raised an eyebrow. "You boys about to start practice?" she noted their football uniforms.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Did you know Finn Hudson? That's his tree," the other one stated the obvious.

"Yeah, we knew him." She dropped her gaze and sniffed back a stinging tear. "We knew him really well."

"Cool, he was awesome. Coach Beiste always talks about him and what he would do in a difficult situation."

Santana nodded but she couldn't speak at that moment. Taking a deep breath she eventually managed to find a few platitudes. "Have a good session okay." She turned away then, unable to keep her facade up much longer. She wasn't going to let two skinny white teenagers see her cry.

She felt Quinn's hand on top of her own as she tried to stop her own little meltdown. The injustice of it always got to her. The senseless way in which he died. The waste of a life so full of promise.

—

At the Berry's later that day, Rachel had brightened. She had also contacted her agent to let him know that she was going to be back in New York in ten days and that she had a gallery opening to attend in a few weeks and that it should replace anything else that might have been earmarked for that date already. She also contacted her personal assistant, Davina, who was just as Jewish and even shorter, if that was even possible, than Rachel. The neurotic girl was such a stress-head but actually quite efficient. Davina had been told to look up grief counsellors in Manhattan who were considered both excellent and discreet.

Rachel was finally letting herself move on.

—

2011 Wexner Medical Center, Columbus, Ohio

"Okay, ease off the brake and the car will roll very slowly. You're going to let it roll without actually accelerating yet and then apply the brake again, just to get a feel for how sensitive it is."

Quinn checked in her mirror out of habit and then allowed her hand to move back towards her slowly, the brake eased off and the car inched forwards. She pushed it back in and then released it again. Another two or three more goes and the instructor told her to slam the brake so she did. Her upper body moved against the restraint of her seatbelt and she winced a little. It didn't actually hurt, it was just a reminder.

"That's great, so now let's add in some throttle. As the brake comes off, you just need to squeeze the pedal under your fingers to accelerate.

Quinn looked down at the control in her right hand. It was beside the steering wheel, between it and the gear shift, neatly tucked into the space for her right hand to work it effortlessly. She could feel the 'pedal' under her fingers, while her thumb was wrapped around the underside so that she could push forwards to brake at anytime. All the car controls were on the hand control and it really was like child's play. She squeezed gently.

"A little more, you're still crawling. Take it up to around twenty m.p.h."

She squeezed harder and watch the speedometer rise.

"It's really easy," she nodded.

"You feel okay? Like you're in control?"

"Yeah, its good."

"Then push the indicator and make a right turn around those cones you see up ahead."

Quinn nudged the indicator with her index finger while the rest kept the gas coming. They practised indicating and turning, right and left around a figure-8 for twenty minutes until she no longer needed to think about it.

"All good?"

She nodded. "I was worried I might have flashbacks and stuff, but actually it was nice to be in control of a car again."

He nodded. "Let's try a little parking then we'll get out on the roads for a while. I think you're ready."

—

Quinn looked at her little red Beetle. It was covered in dust. It had been parked in the garage for months. She wondered how she was going to wash it now. It would have to be one of those automated ones, or maybe someone else could do the roof and she could try the rest herself. It was a coupe so the doors were a good size; getting her chair into the passenger seat wouldn't be a problem, but there was no way she would be able to get Beth in the back without any help. She scratched her head and shook it. The Beetle wasn't going to work. It would have to be replaced. Something with four doors but also big enough doors to get her chair in. They didn't design cars with paraplegic moms in mind.

"Do you want to try this, Q?" Santana had Beth in her arms. They had sat the child safety seat, which had been in her car originally and then moved to her granddad's since the accident, in without actually fixing it down yet; there didn't seem much point if it wasn't going to work.

"I don't think I can reach in safely from here to the back seat," she mumbled from the open door. "It's no good, San."

"Shall we try your mom's car maybe?"

"Yeah, I guess," she sounded deflated.

"Come on, Q. We'll figure it out. You can sell your car and get another one. It's just a car."

"I know, but I liked it. I hate giving things up because of this," she hammered her hands down on the wheels of the chair.

She spun around and went to grab her mom's car keys, still mad that things weren't working out easily.

Her mom's boring, white Honda Accord fitted the chair in the trunk easily, it had been in there plenty of times, but Quinn had never tried to load Beth into the car seat. She had Santana drop the toddler in her lap first. Beth mumbled some nonsense and then stuck her thumb in her mouth.

"Ew, Beth, take it out. You've been rolling around on the floor all day." With the door already open, Quinn tried to figure out the best way to get her daughter in. She was too heavy to lift over with one hand and yet leaning forwards with something heavy and precious in both hands could lead to Quinn toppling forwards. She kept her back deliberately pushed up against the rear of her chair and turned Beth round.

"Can you just grab the back of my T-shirt so I don't slump forwards. I might be okay, but just in case."

Santana grabbed a handful of Quinn's T-shirt just above the top edge of the backrest. Secured, Quinn got a good hold around Beth's ribs and lifted forwards, pushing the toddler's backside over the edge of the car seat.

Beth giggled and waved her arms around.

"Don't start dancing, Beth, you'll have me flat on my face," Quinn muttered. Her hands now balanced on the edge of the car seat and Beth was safely sat in there. "You can let me go," she grinned at Santana. "That was okay, wasn't it?"

"I didn't do anything to hold you back. That worked well."

Quinn nodded and then reached over for the buckle, fumbling around for the end that Beth was now sat on. It took a couple of minutes to get her fastened up but it worked okay. She then tried to get herself in the driver's seat, followed by breaking down her chair to pass across her lap into the passenger seat. It took a while, but eventually Beth, Quinn and the chair were all in the car.

They reversed it and tried it a second time, Santana ready to catch Quinn, but in the end it wasn't necessary.

Judy Fabray had become accustomed to letting Quinn try things out for herself. The family counsellor she had seen at Wexner had encouraged her to keep the over-protective streak to a minimum and it had been hard at times, especially now Quinn was independent for most things and wanted to spread her wings again. Judy was panicking at the thought of her daughter driving around without anyone to help in case something went wrong. Judy was worried all the time about things going wrong, wether that was a fall, a puncture, meds not working, someone bullying her; it was a long list.

"How's it going?" Judy wandered out to see how Quinn was getting on. Beth seemed cheerful enough, though she seemed to think they were going somewhere and looked confused when they simply got out of the car again. "Mommom," Beth joined in.

"I never heard her say that before," Santana noticed.

"She's been doing it for a couple of weeks," Quinn grinned at her daughter. "Mommom's making you confused isn't she?" She made a funny face at the toddler.

Beth clapped her hands and giggled. "Mommomm," she repeated.

Judy folded her arms and waited for Quinn to try again, but she didn't. She spun Beth around and then her chair. "My car is a bust, mom, but yours is okay. I can get her in and out without falling over or dropping her. I need to get a new one."

"Okay," Judy thought about it. "Do you want mine for now and I use yours?"

Quinn bit her lip for a moment. "Thanks mom, but my car's too small for you and yours in practically new."

"I don't mind. We can always trade the Beetle in for something else later. If mine works for you, let's go ahead and get it adapted."

Quinn sighed. Her mom had given up a lot for her and asked for very little in return. "I want to say yes, but you have to think about yourself for once, mom. I can get by with something older and less expensive. You shouldn't be even more out of pocket because of me."

Santana felt a bit awkward. She didn't like being party to this kind of conversation. "Shall I take Beth in and play with her for a bit while you talk this through some more?"

Quinn stopped worrying her lips and nodded, handing Beth over to her girlfriend. Judy thanked her and went to the driver door of the car, dropping inside and looking around.

"I guess we can take a look around and see what we can find in a similar size, now we know this works."

"I can practice with it before we buy as well." Quinn glanced at her feet and straightened them up. "Thank you though, mom. It was sweet of you to offer, but I don't want to keep taking from you all the time."

Judy thought about it briefly. Quinn was right, she shouldn't feel guilty over this. "We'll get your car cleaned up and then take it to get valued. I'll ask dad to take us."

"I might ask Santana to come with us too, she's persuasive and we might get a good deal if she threatens to kick the salesman's ass."

Judy's face broke into a grin. "Well done for not always taking the easiest option put in front of you," she gave her daughter a kiss and a squeeze. "Most teenagers would have just taken the car and not given a second thought about it."

"I don't think there's much about me that's typically teenage anymore, do you?"

—

"I like the Chevy," Quinn's granddad ran his hand over the dark red metallic paint on a three year-old Chevrolet 200. "It's big enough and it's the newest of the ones you can afford, Quinn."

She nodded. "What about the Ford though?" She nodded at the silver Focus. "It's cheaper than the 200."

"Cheaper doesn't mean better. It's a good car, but this has ten thousand fewer miles on the clock."

The blonde teenager screwed her nose up in thought. They weren't the most exciting cars, but she needed practical and they fit the bill.

"The Chevy is a nicer colour too," Santana noted. Quinn rolled her eyes. "What, you drove a red Beetle, that was clearly a statement. You cannot make any kind of statement in a silver Focus, they are like every single hire car in America."

Quinn nodded. "Okay, let's try and get a deal then. The Chevy it is."

Santana bent down and whispered in the blonde's ear when her granddad stalked off to find the salesman. "Do you think we can park up in that and fool around on the backseat?"

Quinn smacked her arm and rolled her eyes. "You have a one track mind, Santana Lopez."

—

Quinn's grandparents had Beth for the night and her mom was out on a date, which was nice. She was relieved that her mom was starting to have a normal life again. It had been a rough year and half for the small family.

Santana was sat on the sofa with her feet perched on the coffee table. They had been watching a movie but the credits were rolling. Quinn rolled her body forwards and pulled her chair closer. "I'm just going to swap out the DVD." She ejected the disk with the remote and then heaved herself into the seat. She didn't even bother to straighten her legs and feet up, just rolled over to the TV and put the DVD back in the case. "I thought Mamma Mia was supposed to be good."

"That depends on who you ask. Berry thinks it's good, but that is not exactly a marker for good taste. I prefer something with a little more script and a little less old people singing old songs."

"Maybe we should have watched it with the Spanish dubbing instead. That might have made it funnier."

Santana laughed and threw a cushion at her girlfriend.

"Lopez, I cannot believe that you would throw missiles at a handicapped person," she let her jaw drop in mock offence.

She received a second one to the knees for that.

"This is war, Lopez." Quinn picked up the both of them, leaving Santana without any more to throw.

It was also then that she realised Quinn's slightly ambidextrous tendencies and got both in the face at the same time as the blonde hurled them.

They both burst into a fit of giggles and the Latina stood to her full height looking feral. "Forget movies, let's go to your room."

Quinn slipped from the chair to her bed and got herself comfortable so the Latina could join her. "You need a pillow behind your back or something?"

"No, I'm fine. Just maybe roll my legs over towards you a little." She watched as Santana pulled Quinn's hip towards her; the legs followed and bumped into her knees.

"That okay?"

"Yeah fine. Is it okay for you?"

"Stop fretting, you always get antsy when we get intimate."

Quinn chewed her lip. "I just fret because I have no idea what half of me is doing to you."

"It's only doing good things to me."

"But how can that be? I still don't get how you can think that they are okay," she waved at her legs.

"They aren't okay, they are fabulous, just like the rest of you."

Quinn made a noise that said she disagreed.

"Shut up and kiss me," Santana ordered slipping an arm under Quinn's head and pulling her closer still.

The blonde wrapped her own arms around Santana and kissed her. It was a long, slow kiss that built gradually into a fervent urge to probe her tongue deeper and deeper. They stayed wrapped in each other, tasting and nipping, intertwining their tongues for what seemed like ages, though in reality was just a couple of minutes.

"You are an amazing kisser, Quinn Fabray." Santana eventually stopped for some air and let the blonde roll back a bit to breathe.

"You're not bad," Quinn quipped, a tinkle of laughter following.

"I love your laugh. It's so deliciously cute and yet dirty at the same time. It makes me go all jelly inside when I hear it. I love you being happy again."

Quinn had a little heart melting moment at hearing Santana's words. She was better known for her long rants than she was endearing speeches with sincere overtones.

"Thank you, that's such a nice thing to say."

She just gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"Do you know what I love about you?"

Santana rolled closer again. "Personally I think it must be my overall awesomeness," she suggested.

"As well as your self-effacing modesty," Quinn added with a total lack of sincerity and a cheeky smile. "Actually, it's your loyalty and your tenacity. When I am with you, I feel like I can try anything and be completely safe. You give me confidence. After the year I just had, that is probably the most difficult thing for me to get back, but you have given it to me over and over again. I owe you a debt of gratitude."

Santana actually blushed. Red cheeks and everything.

"You make me ache with desire," the darker girl responded. "When I see you give me that little cheeky smile or flash of your eyes I just want to rip your clothes off."

"You make me feel like hot chocolate on a frosty day," Quinn countered. "All warm and snuggly and cosy, but then sometimes you're like spicy and hypnotic and I can't take my eyes off you."

"Okay, Sue has me on the masterclense, you can't talk dirty to me with food involved."

Quinn just chuckled. "You need to rebel against that; it's not healthy."

"Yeah but if I gain a pound she threatens to put me at the bottom of the pyramid."

Quinn stroked Santana's face and they met for another slow kiss.

"Tell me what feels good for you," Santana demanded. "I need to know how to make you feel the way I see you."

"How do you see me?"

"You're amazingly beautiful. You're strong, independent, sexy, determined. How do I make you feel like that?"

Quinn shrugged. "This is all new San. I don't have the answers yet."

"I guess I should experiment then?"

"They told me in rehab - they have the best sex ed I ever got there, go figure - that for someone like me, I need to see what's happening and I need you to talk to me about what you're doing because that helps my mind understand and make connections. Apparently I might still orgasm but I won't necessarily feel it, or I might feel it somewhere else, maybe even just in my head. There's no instruction book."

Santana stroked Quinn's hair back from her face. "You'll tell me if I make you feel uncomfortable. Tell me to stop and I will." She lifted the hem of Quinn's T-shirt to reveal the skinny hips and smooth abdomen below. Sliding her hand up, the T-shirt rose until Quinn could wriggle out of it. Santana watched Quinn trying to arch her back, but it was tough to do. There was a line now, clearly evident; the area below the little crease was smooth and didn't do a lot, just sort of wobbled a little, not with fat, but just because it couldn't move. The area above had the creases that outlined muscles that still worked. Quinn had a four-pack and she was lucky to have that. Her injuries had been dangerously close to leaving her paralysed from the chest down. A little help lifted the T-shirt away from Quinn's arms and it was hastily discarded, followed a few moments later by Quinn having reciprocated and pulling away Santana's shirt.

The blonde dug her elbows into the mattress to get herself more comfortable and then let Santana's hands roam over her upper body.

"Tell me what you are doing," Quinn bit her lip.

"I'm just touching your amazing skin, babe. It's so soft and smooth." She let her fingers stray around the side of Quinn's ribs. "It's perfect."

Quinn inhaled as the long fingernails brushed against her ribs in smooth, gentle circles.

"That's so good," she mumbled into the Latina's ear, strategically placed close to her lips. Quinn pulled Santana's head around to kiss her and stroked the hair back out of her face. "Thank you for indulging me."

"I'm not, I'm indulging me," a husky laugh bubbled through Santana's utterly kissable lips.

The Latina trailed kisses down the pale skin of Quinn's long neck, over her chest and in between her breasts. They weren't very big, but they were perky and standing to attention, which brought a smile to her face.

She squeezed Quinn's left nipple in her fingers and watched the other girl's face change into a slightly feral appearance. Quinn ran her hand around Santana's ribs and pulled her on top of her. Santana dropped a knee in between Quinn's thighs and began to lift it rhythmically.

"Can you feel the movement?"

Quinn nodded. "In my chest. It feels better with you lying on top of me, I feel like there's something there then."

Quinn grabbed Santana's right breast and started kneading it in time with the Latina's grinding. It made the darker girl sigh and arch her back slightly.

"That's so good." Santana looped her leg over Quinn's hips so she was straddling her and rocked back and forth, taking both Quinn's breasts in her hands and gently squeezing them with the same motion.

Quinn looked down and could see and feel the movement, allowing her brain to get fooled into thinking she could feel Santana's hips on hers. It was really strange to see and not feel her body most of the time. Especially when she was lying down; it just felt like her lower body wasn't there and that made her sad from time to time. But when there was pressure on her lower body, somehow, she had a sense of it still being attached to the rest of her. It helped to ground her and take away the floating feeling.

"How do you feel?" Santana asked with a low, guttural sound in her throat.

"Like I'm lying under you. I can feel the weight of your body pushing into mine. I feel wanted."

"You really are, but are you ready for more?"

The blonde caught her lip between her teeth and nodded. "I trust you."

It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to Santana.

She placed her lips around Quinn's right nipple and sucked gently, nipping with her lips and teasing with her tongue. At the same time, her other hand found Quinn's sex and started to massage, pushing her fingers in and out to the same rhythm. Santana was conscious of what she was doing, but she soon realised that Quinn wasn't. Not only did she not feel her fingers inside, but she was dry and showed no signs of getting wet.

A small pain found its way between her eyes, but she closed them quickly so that Quinn wouldn't see the little bit of sadness, she was enjoying the work going into her boobs. Quinn's breathing was changing so Santana moved her other hand and teased the pale ribs instead, swirling her fingers around and then over her shoulder and the nape of her neck, even into her scalp, all the time, her mouth continued to work the blonde's breast until Quinn panted quickly and seemed to just buzz for a few moments before sighing. It lasted the briefest time, but the pale form just seemed to melt into the mattress.

"Did you just…"

"I don't know. What's it supposed to feel like?"

"Seriously? You mean you never… before…even, never?"

Quinn shook her head. "It felt nice and sort of shivery right up into my hair, but I don't know if that's what it was."

Santana looked at Quinn and then her gaze lowered to see the pale skin was mottled with pink over her chest, neck and cheeks. "I think that was it," Santana grinned really cheekily. "Did you like it? You've flushed red so I'm guessing that was it."

"I had an orgasm?" Quinn asked and then repeated herself. "I had an orgasm!"

"Aargh!" Santana was so excited. "I am truly a genius, I made a paraplegic orgasm."

Quinn just laughed and then she cried a bit with the relief and something else that wasn't really definable. It was sort of like finding the centre of your universe in the most unexpected way.

—

2020 Manhattan, NY

"Did I tell you the artist is my best friend?" Rachel held onto the arm of her escort for the opening of Quinn's work at the gallery.

"You did, about three times Rachel and I'm excited to meet her. Why don't I know her again?"

"You left before she joined and then you were _persona non grata_ for a while."

"That's right, totally your fault I might add."

"You threw eggs at me!"

"Actually I didn't so much throw them as I smashed one on your head," Jesse gave her his sweetest smile. "I am forgiven, I take it?"

"Yes, but only because you are so handsome and make me look good." Rachel pretended to be precocious and then started giggling. "I really was very high maintenance, wasn't I?"

"You were, but then so was I," he smiled at her. "We've come a long way since then."

"We have. Thank you for coming with me. I wasn't looking forward to being here unaccompanied."

"I would have been in touch sooner if I'd known you and that glorified cook had split up."

"He's one of the most famous chefs in America, Jesse," Rachel defended her previous relationship even though, she could admit that the guy really had been somewhat less than a gentleman.

"He's a douche," Jesse stopped to admire the first picture on display.

"Funny, that's what we used to call you!"

"Ah, the unmistakable dulcet tones of Santana Lopez."

"Jesse the Douche, how are you?" Like a smiling assassin, Santana kissed him on both cheeks.

"Not as much of a douche as the last guy Rachel dated."

"That's true," the Latina broke into a giggle. "It's been a long time. You look good though. I better just have security run a search however, just in case you've brought eggs along."

Jesse grinned. "Touché, Ms Lopez."

She handed him and Rachel a glass of Champagne.

Rachel accepted. "Just the one," and received a nod and a knowing smile from her friend.

"So where is our artist?" Jesse asked. "Rachel tells me you are married to her."

Santana nodded and smoothed her sparkly black dress. "She's making nice with the sponsors first. Priorities right? I'll rescue her in a little while if they don't let her go."

"Jesse and I are performing together starting in a month. We have a new show." Rachel couldn't contain her excitement.

"Oh my god, why don't we know this already?" Santana gave her a hug.

"It was only confirmed yesterday."

"Congrats to you both. We've been so busy the last couple of days."

"Aunt Rach!" Beth bounced over so she could greet the shorter woman.

"God, Beth, you grew again?"

The girl just laughed. She looked really grown up in a beautiful dress and a pair of small heels. "No, mom let me have some shoes with a heel for the first time. Why are they so hard to walk in though?"

Rachel looked at Santana who just rolled her eyes. "She would have come in tennis shoes if we let her."

Rachel rummaged in her bag. "I have something for you, lovely Beth. Your birthday card and a little something else as well."

Beth took the packet and placed it in her handbag, which was also a first. "Thank you so much. I'll open it next week on my birthday."

They shared another hug and introduced Jesse. He asked how old she would be and she replied.

"I'll be ten on Wednesday."

He thought about that briefly and smiled. "I thought you would have been at least twelve," he charmed her.

She hid behind her hand and snorted, shaking her head. She looked so much like Quinn when she did that, it was crazy.

"Sometimes she thinks she's older than that," Quinn rolled to a stop. "How'd you like it?" she nodded at her picture.

Rachel immediately heaped on the praise.

"Hey Q, remember me telling you about Jesse the Douche from Vocal Adrenalin?"

"Tana!" Beth put her hand over her mouth. "That's a naughty word."

"It was his nickname," she defended herself to Quinn. "Meet one and the same," she clapped him on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry about San," Quinn replied politely. "It's lovely to meet you."

"You too," Jesse bent a little and kissed her hand rather than shake it.

A raised eyebrow from the blonde towards Rachel was met with a blush. "I take it," Quinn asked suggestively, "that Jesse is someone who understands your world?"

With a knowing little smile, Rachel nodded and hooked her arm through Jesse's. "Yes, he does," she replied.

—

February 2012, Lima, Ohio

"So let me get this straight," Santana didn't care who heard it. "All I have to do is give you this ten dollars and I get a vocal valentine for my girlfriend, Quinn Fabray?"

"Absolutely, ten bucks. That's the deal."

"And just to be clear by that I don't just mean my friend who's a girl, but my girlfriend, girlfriend?"

Joe looked a little confused and turned to Mercedes who rolled her eyes. "Oh boy," she sighed. "This is going to take some explaining."

Santana had beef with everyone at that moment. Figgins was reprimanding her about PDAs, when every heterosexual couple in school was freely exchanging saliva without getting so much as a second look, then stupid Tarantula Head Joe looked like he was smacked upside the head when she asked him for a vocal valentine. Double standards everywhere.

"It's okay, San. It's just a song and I appreciate the gesture." Quinn ran a hand up and down her girlfriend's forearm as they were at the lockers.

"That's not the point," she huffed. "It's unfair, the way you get treated differently because your life doesn't fit into the neat little package that everyone else's does. It's not like we're committing a crime or are dealing drugs, for god's sake. We just wanna be together."

Quinn made a noise.

"Okay, Ms superior, you get extra bonus points for the wheels too. Actually that could be a way around Figgins; tell him that banning us from PDAs goes against the ADA or some shit like that."

"Er…I'm pretty sure it's more important than securing the right to playing tonsil hockey." Quinn rolled her eyes. "Come on, we have Glee."

Santana shrugged and followed the other girl to the choir room.

Rachel and Finn started them all off with a speech about getting married which kind of sent Kurt into a tailspin of a rant. Quinn wasn't really listening and just gawked at Rachel.

"You guys are no way mature enough for a responsibility that big. There's a reason not many people get married at our age."

"Well I for one defend your right to be together with whoever you want," Santana insisted, still bristling over Figgins earlier in the day.

Quinn turned and stared at Santana while Rachel mumbled something about not being invited and it being a shame that her best friend wouldn't be wearing a bridesmaid's dress.

It was a complete slap in the face and Quinn could barely focus on anything Mr Schue said about prepping for regionals after that.

Kurt turned and gave her a smile of thanks for taking his side. They were, it seemed the only two people in the room who knew this was a major mistake to be making for two people who were barely eighteen.

"Thanks for speaking up, Quinn."

She shrugged. "I don't know what's going on in her head Kurt. I know she thinks she loves Finn and he thinks he loves her, but what the hell?"

"Our parents and the Berrys are playing this little game of approval in the hope they won't run off and elope or something. They're both kind of headstrong and I honestly wouldn't put it past either of them right now."

"But why? I thought Rachel wasn't sure. She told me a couple of weeks ago about him proposing but why now? What's the rush?"

"He's scared. Finn doesn't want to leave school and grow up. He knows Rachel has her heart set on NYADA and he's still not sure that he doesn't want to stay here and work at the tyre shop."

"They're both better than this Kurt, we need to do something."

He shrugged. "I've been trying for days, but as you can see, I'm not getting through."

Rachel didn't speak to Quinn for a while and even when she did, things were strained between them. They were both sad about it, but also believed in what they had said. It was a moral stand-off.

The Sugar Shack went down a storm with everyone and Santana finally got her vocal valentine for Quinn out of Joe, who in the end came to the conclusion it was okay to sing love songs to gay people. She didn't care that it took him a day or so to decide, she was just happy in the moment. She even got Quinn out of her chair and into the booth at Breadstix, which was a first.

—

"I need her to see reason, San. How can you think this is a good idea?"

"I don't, but if the dwarfette and Pillsbury Doughboy want to get hitched, they should be allowed to. Besides, it will give Rachel's dad, the lawyer one, a boost to his 401K, because she'll be needing a good divorce attorney by the time she's nineteen."

Quinn knew Santana didn't mean what she said, but it was frustrating. Between her and Tina giving the couple their blessing, it wasn't helping to cement the idea it was stupid to marry so naively.

Quinn ground her teeth in frustration. "That's spectacularly unhelpful of you."

"It will be a disaster, we all know that, but it's their decision."

Quinn folded her arms and sighed heavily. "She's still not speaking to me, well, not properly."

"That could be considered a blessing," a wry smile broke across Santana's face.

"Still not helping," the blonde's tart response fell on deaf ears.

—

Rachel sang better than Quinn had ever heard her sing before at regionals. She wasn't sure if it was the occasion or what was to follow, but it brought out the best in her friend. She sang to Finn, of that there was no doubt and the look on his face when she did was priceless. It made Quinn's heart melt but she still knew in spite of that, getting married was a mistake of huge proportions.

That aside, Quinn had to accept there was no persuading Rachel when she was determined to do something, so she would go along with it, even if that meant holding her hand and offering Kleenex a few years down the road when things went pear-shaped.

As they left the stage and went to the dressing room, trophy in hand after wiping the floor with their opposition, Quinn deviated from the others and went to her locker. She removed the large white clothing bag and peeked inside at the bridesmaid dress. With a sigh she took the bag and headed for the locker room. It took her an age to figure out how to put it on then actually drag it up over her hips and shoulders. Eventually she had it on, though not fastened, she couldn't reach the zip unaided.

"Looking good Fabray!" Blaine and Kurt strolled past, arm in arm, as she rolled down the hallway.

"Thanks boys," she replied. Spotting Rachel ahead, she called out to her best friend.

"Hey, how do I look?"

Rachel turned and met Quinn's optimistic smile with somewhat less enthusiasm.

"You look happy. Everyone deserves to be happy," the brunette replied. "Especially you."

Quinn melted. "You were singing that song to Finn and only to Finn right?"

Rachel gave her a shy smile and nodded.

"He really does make you so happy," the blonde saw her friend's face light up at the mere mention of his name. "I want to support you, Rachel, you and Finn, and come to the wedding if it's not too late?"

Rachel almost jumped on her, shaking her head as they hugged tightly.

Quinn grinned at the response and gave a huge sigh of relief that they were still friends.

—

"Face it Rachel, Quinn's not coming."

Rachel scowled at the Latina. "No, she said she'd be here and I believe her."

Kurt rolled his eyes. If he hadn't seen Quinn wearing the dress, he'd never have believed it either.

"She forgot her shoes, that's all. She sent me a text saying that she was just driving home to get them."

"Quinn always forgets her shoes," Tina added in agreement. "I think she'll be here if she said so."

"I don't get why she even bothers wearing them. It's not like she would know if her feet got cold," Brit added with a confused look on her face.

Normally it would have been funny, but Rachel was too stressed out to find any humour in the situation. She picked up her phone and typed out the message 'WHERE R U?' before pressing send.

Quinn glanced at her phone again. It was sat on the passenger seat beside her bridesmaid shoes, buzzing repeatedly. She sighed in frustration at yet another slow moving vehicle. When it went off a third time, Quinn responded with a reply.

'ON MY WAY'

It was at precisely that moment, the huge farm truck in front dropped a bale of hay in the road and she had to swerve to miss it, thus veering across the road and into the ditch.

—

"Please you have to tell me," Rachel begged. "I need to know she's going to be okay."

"I'm sorry miss, I can only give out information to next of kin."

"But you don't understand, she's my best friend!"

"I'm sorry, but it's hospital policy," the woman on reception looked firm and not exactly open to persuasion, but before Rachel could try charming the info out of her Judy ran in looking frazzled.

"Why does this keep happening?" She ran to the desk. "Quinn Fabray, I'm her mother."

"Just give me a moment and I'll get someone here for you."

Rachel looked distressed, but not as much as Mrs Fabray and promptly shut up after Santana gave her death glares.

A nurse came out and called Judy through to the ER.

"Santana, come on." Judy called her to go through.

"I'll come and let you know as soon as I can okay," she grabbed Rachel's hand and found it squeezing back.

Rachel followed them to the door but it closed behind and she knew she would have to wait to find out how bad it was.

"Broken leg?"

Quinn was bemused. "I guess that's okay then, I can't feel anything."

The doctor didn't look so happy.

"Has anyone spoken to you about how dangerous that can be for a paraplegic?"

Quinn scrunched up her nose and shook her head. "Don't think so, maybe in rehab but I'm not sure. I might not have been listening."

"Quinne," her mom sighed and held her hand. "You have to be more careful now."

"I know, mom. It wasn't my fault, I couldn't do anything else and that bale of hay was huge. I would have been totalled if I hit it."

Santana punched her right shoulder. "I swear, if you scare the crap out of me again, I will go all Lima Heights."

"I'm okay. It's just a busted leg."

"It's a little more serious than that, Quinn. You have a fractured femur and though we won't need to do surgery, you are a big risk for complications so you will be here a few days at best and maybe longer if there are knock on effects."

"What?" The blonde just waved down at her leg. "Why can't you just stick a cast on me and let me go home?"

The doctor shook her head. "It doesn't work like that for you I'm afraid. We can't cast you, its a huge risk for pressure sores, so we will have to splint you instead. It will need daily checks to make sure decubitus ulcers haven't formed and you might need a drain if your blood pressure meds cause too much bleeding. The femur is a big bone and in your case, it's not as dense as it should be, hence the fracture."

The three women just looked confused.

"It's common for paraplegics, especially women, to develop brittle bones because you aren't standing on your legs as you should be for long enough."

"But I use the stander every day," Quinn argued.

"I understand that, but its not enough to maintain normal bone density."

"So I have brittle bones now as well?"

"The test shows the bones in your legs have lost some density. We can put together a plan to try and improve or at least stabilise it, but it will be an ongoing issue for you. I'm sorry Quinn, but you will have to stay in and let us keep an eye on you until we're sure there are no clots or significant bleeds going on in that thigh."

Quinn nodded. "Guess you better get me some PJs and stuff from home. I'm sorry mom, honestly. You must have been freaking out when they called."

Judy gave her a sad smile of confirmation. "It's fine now I know you're okay."

Quinn shrugged. "I didn't even know anything was wrong with me. It's a little crazy to break a leg and not even feel it." She glanced down at her thigh which was swollen and reddened. "How's the car looking?"

"Not too bad. Burt's gone to look at it for you, he sent me a photo." Santana held out her phone and Quinn saw her new car in the ditch.

"I guess, just a few dings. Can't believe this happened to my new car."

"I can't believe the lengths you will go to get Berry to postpone the wedding!" Santana chuckled, then her face fell. "Oh crap! I better go tell her how you are, she's probably attacked the woman behind the counter again for info."

—

"I'm really sorry about the wedding Rach," Quinn apologised as soon as Rachel entered her room. "I swear it wasn't my fault."

Rachel simply moved quickly to the bed and grabbed her into a hug. "You scared me half to death," she mumbled into Quinn's shoulder, crying instantly.

"It's okay, Rach. Not like I was walking anywhere anytime soon was it?" Quinn replied, her arms wrapped around the narrow frame of her best friend.

"Why do these things keep happening to you? It's not fair."

Quinn chuckled. "I guess not, but whoever said life was fair in the first place?"

Rachel sniffed. "Your mom is going home to get some things for you and bring Beth. Do you need me to get you anything?"

Quinn smiled softly and shook her head. "You should go be with Finn, he's got to be really pissed at me for this."

Rachel shook her head. "He understands, everyone does. We all care about you. Are you sure I can't fetch anything?"

Quinn nodded and sat back. "I'm okay. I'll be bored, but not so bored you need to get me another giant jigsaw this time. It's just going to be a few days, not months."

Rachel grinned then and her shoulders shook with a laugh. "I'm so happy you aren't badly hurt."

—

"I'm kind of glad we postponed the wedding. Now it doesn't have to be some Justice of the Peace quickie. I was thinking that with nationals in Chicago this year, maybe we could get married some place really special like the pitcher's mound at Wrigley field or some other place really great…" Finn's voice faded as he saw disappointment etched on Rachel's face.

"It's not that, it's just that Quinn…she's…"

"Right behind you," Finn nodded, turning his girlfriend around to face her best friend.

Rolling towards the couple, Quinn was back in her own wheelchair and wearing a huge smile on her face. She shared a big hug with them both as Rachel gushed and the blonde waved off the pleasantries.

"Don't, Rach please. I'm just really glad to be back and Finn, again, really sorry about the wedding."

"Hey, it's cool. We were actually just talking about that and we're happy to have time to plan it properly now instead of rushing actually, so please don't apologise any more. It wasn't your fault. How's the leg?"

Quinn glanced down at the large, black, padded brace on her left leg that prevented the broken bones from moving around. "Mending, slowly. It's annoying and inconvenient, but I guess I'm okay. Better than being in the hospital," she shrugged.

"Well, we're all relieved that you are back."

"So am I. I'm pretty relieved to have my best friend back too," Quinn gave Rachel a cheeky smile. "All forgiven now?"

Rachel nodded. "Ancient history."

—

"You need anything?"

"I don't think so," Quinn glanced around the room. Her leg was elevated as instructed on the special foam pillow and the brace was back on after Santana checked her skin to make sure there were no red marks. "Just check my circulation so we know it's not on too tight."

Santana peeled off her socks. Carefully she pressed down on both Quinn's big toes and watched as the white pressure mark faded back to pink on both.

"The left isn't as good as the right."

"It hasn't been since it got broke, so long as the blood returns in a few seconds, its okay."

Santana nodded, seemingly satisfied and replaced the sock, taking care to smooth out the creases. "I hate that you have to go through this crap again, Q. I thought… I thought we were through worrying about this shit."

Quinn's shoulders sagged briefly. Santana was clearly tiring of dealing with her physical limitations; it was always a fear lurking the back of her mind.

"No, don't get like that, I'm not bailing. I just feel like it's not fair on you," Santana explained.

Quinn inhaled. "I thought you were just going to say this is all too much and you can't cope with it. I would understand you know. If that's how you feel."

"Q, I'm going to bust your other leg if you keep on like that, I swear."

"I'm just saying that I would…umph!"

"I said shut up, Q!" Santana had her hand clamped over Quinn's mouth. "I love you."

"Mmm?" Quinn tried to reply.

The Latina removed her hand.

"You do?"

"Shit, Q. Of course I do, otherwise why would I put up with all your crap?"

"Well there is that," the blonde replied with a sly grin. "Then there's the sex… umph!"

Santana clamped her hand firmly over Quinn's mouth again. "Beth's sleeping in the next room. You can't shout about that," she hissed.

"Oh. You care about Beth too?" Quinn melted.

The Latina shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant. "I care about everyone you care about." She dropped to the bed, carefully, and lifted her legs up so she was lying beside her girlfriend. "Your mom and me, we both had a good cry together after we found out you were okay. She's cool, you know how she doesn't mind about us."

"You wish your family was the same?"

Santana nodded thoughtfully. "Mammi and papi are okay but my grandmother, she's definitely not okay with it. I didn't even get a chance to tell her about you, she just kicked me out of the house. Papi tried to explain but she won't listen."

"I think mom knew but didn't want to admit it. She was really shocked when I told her I was pregnant, like she couldn't believe I would ever have sex with a boy,"

"Why did you?"

"We've talked about this," Quinn's voice dropped. "I was drunk, it was a mistake trying to fit in with everyone else."

"But why go through with it when it wasn't what you wanted?"

"I suppose I was ashamed of thinking that way. About girls I mean. Daddy always said being gay was a sin against God and I believed him, so I tried to prove that I wasn't but it backfired in the worst way."

"I hate being judged because of who I chose to love. It sucks. Why can't people just let everyone decide for themselves without all these rules?" Santana crossed her arms in a mood.

Quinn slid a hand through the arms and tugged Santana closer.

"The people who matter don't care."

"Try telling that to my grandmother."

"I will if you let me."

Santana gazed into Quinn's eyes and felt herself drowning in them. She snuggled into an embrace. They talked some more and kissed a little. Quinn's leg prevented anything much more physical.

"I can't wait for college and a chance to get away from this hick town and all the judgemental assholes who think we're committing some sort of crime."

Quinn smiled. "I forgot to tell you actually, I got into Yale."

"What the f…fudge? Why didn't you tell me before now?"

"I kind of felt bad because you weren't sure what you wanted to do. I also don't like the idea of going away without you."

Santana thought about that and decided to take a risk. "I will go wherever you do. I doubt I'd make Yale but I've been thinking a lot lately."

"What about?"

She shrugged. "I kind of want to make a difference now. I realise I was selfish in the past and wanted what I want, not thinking about the world around me and what I could do to make it better. I don't know if its because I love you or because I see what a difference a few small changes can make in your life, but I want to change the way the world is for someone like you."

Quinn's jaw dropped. "What do you mean?"

"I want to design a world that is accessible for everyone, I want to be an architect and someday, I want to build us a house from scratch where there aren't any limits for you."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting.**

 **I had a busy few weeks.**

 **The usual disclaimer applies**

Chapter 13

The car wasn't too badly damaged, which was a relief. Burt had done Quinn a solid by getting one of his buddies to fix the damaged wing, axle and paintwork. He'd fitted a new coolant pump and fan himself, as well as putting on a new wheel for the damaged one and replacing all the tires on the car. The insurance company paid the bill, but still, she appreciated that he'd checked everything over for her before she could drive again.

Now she was back at school and back behind the wheel, Quinn's mood improved significantly and she set about helping Santana. Her science grades were excellent, clearly she had inherited her father's intellect there, but her English grades weren't as good and that wiped out Ivy League.

"What about this one?" Quinn looked at lists of schools with architecture programs with Santana in the library.

"It has to be on a list, Miss Pilsbury said not all programs were acceptable for state practice. I think I underestimated how hard this was going to be."

Santana wasn't the most patient researcher in the world.

"What list?"

The Latina brought up the accreditation website.

"Okay, so we start with Connecticut and work out geographically from there." Quinn entered the state and hit search for the accepted programmes. "Did you meet the entry criteria for any of these?" She looked at the long list, some familiar, many they'd never even heard of."

"Where is Princeton anyway?" Santana huffed and looked for somewhere familiar.

"New Jersey," Quinn replied thoughtfully.

"God no," Santana replied. "No way in hell. That might actually be worse than the place in Kentucky Sue wants me to go to."

"It's near New York and it's only an hour away."

"I need closer than that," Santana folded her arms across her chest.

"Most of these seem to be in Boston or New York. There are only a few in Connecticut. One of them is Yale."

"I'm not going to get into Yale, Princeton, MIT or Cornell. The Ivy League types aren't my style anyway."

"What about Hartford? They have an undergrad course in Architecture and Engineering. That sounds more your style instead of these urban planning type courses. You can do a Master's after that. Should take about seven years to get qualified by these people who give out accreditation. Who knows, maybe if you do really well you can move somewhere else for your Master's."

Santana eyed the page in front of her. It did seem like a course for someone who actually wanted to build something.

"Okay, put that on the list."

"Rhode Island looks good too. Its further away but looks like a good program."

Again, Santana agreed.

Quinn gave her an elbow in the ribs. "We make a good team," she grinned.

"Yeah we do," Santana replied. She checked over her shoulder and glanced around then stole a quick kiss while no one was looking.

Fall 2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"Hurry up, San. You're going to be late for your own graduation or whatever it is you call it."

"It's still a graduation, Q." The Latina walked into the kitchen looking immaculate and had her robe in a clothing bag. "Why are you rushing?"

"Because we need an hour plus time to park and then you need to get ready. The line for the photographer is probably already out the door."

"Of for Pete's sake, calm down. This isn't going to be like your fancy graduation with all the other preppy Yale types, it's not a huge school and I don't care about the photographs and dumb speeches anyway. You can take my photograph, not some second rate school photographer."

Quinn blushed slightly. "I guess I can, I didn't think about that."

Santana ran a hand over her shoulders lovingly. "Come on, babe. Let's grab our kid and get going before you have a heart attack." She turned and yelled through the open door. "Beth, get your caboose down here now!"

Feet pounded down the staircase and Beth arrived in the doorway, freshly scrubbed and clean, her hair in a ponytail and a white dress with sunflowers embroidered over the shoulders.

"Cardigan or jacket, Beth. It will be chilly out," Santana reminded her.

"I don't understand why you have this now when you finished ages ago." Beth grumbled collected her jacket from the hallway. "Will there be a lot of boring speeches I don't understand."

"Probably, but it will just serve to prepare you for your future life anyway." Santana grabbed the keys to the car and they headed out. "The ceremonies only take place twice a year and I couldn't go to the one earlier because we went on vacation. The ceremonies are usually a few months after you finish college anyway."

"I don't get it." Beth took her usual seat in the back.

"San's getting a Master's degree, not a Bachelor's degree. Its a little different."

"Like more harder?"

"Not the best use of English, B, but yes, it's more difficult. She's better qualified than before so now she can build bigger projects."

"And earn more money?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "It's not about money, it's about being good at something."

"But she made our house ages ago and it's really nice," Beth argued. "I don't get why she had to go do more school."

"That was one of her projects, but she wants to build bigger things. Imagine building a whole town or a huge skyscraper." Quinn waved her hands in the air dramatically.

"You could take nice pictures of it if she did."

Quinn chuckled.

"I guess you're right."

—

Quinn parked her chair in the allocated space and though Beth had the seat beside her, she actually slipped onto her mother's knees and played with her phone while they waited for the ceremony to start.

"Oof," Quinn complained as Beth shifted and pushed the camera she was holding into her ribs. "Careful, B."

"Sorry," Beth moved a little so she wasn't squashing her. She was busy taking pictures of the ceremony. Santana was sat on the opposite side and kept looking over towards them and while Beth was more concerned with all that was going on around her, Quinn and Santana still just had eyes for each other.

And so it was that as her name was called out a while later, after the boring speeches and the formalities, Quinn watched her wife ascend the steps to the stage and walk across to collect her master's degree.

It had been a long journey. Their first year in college had rough, both living in campus housing and nearly an hour apart from each other. Quinn in New Haven and Santana in Hartford meant almost a two hour round trip depending on traffic and who was driving. Beth had also been separated from Quinn; taking care of herself was still hard enough, but managing that, plus a toddler and school on her own just wasn't feasible. Beth stayed in Lima with Judy and Quinn felt about as lonely as it was possible to be even though she made friends at Yale.

The only advantage had been the work. Missing everyone so badly gave her an excuse to work hard as a distraction and she had. Santana too had thrown herself into something with all the passion she had stored up inside her. For the first time in her life, she found something she gave a shit about and it made her put everything she had into getting things right. Her mom's money didn't get used for student loans, it was a down payment in waiting. She was going to build them a house, no, not a house; she was going to build them a home. San didn't know where yet, but she had it in mind. Something pure and white on the outside and free of mess and clutter on the inside, but warm and bright. She wanted somewhere that didn't need compromises for Quinn. First though, she needed to learn how to build a house and that's what she kept her mind on.

Their second year had been easier. They had spent ages looking at different places and found a small single storey house for rent near the VA hospital in New Haven. They took it and though it wasn't perfect, Quinn could get around. It didn't have every accommodation needed, but with a few items purchased, it was good enough for the time being and Santana didn't mind the commute to Hartford if it meant they could be together. For the first semester, Beth stayed with Judy, but then Quinn insisted it was time for her daughter to be with her. It was hard and the couple didn't have the usual undergrad experience as a consequence, but they were a little family and together, they felt a sense of empowerment for the first time.

—

April 2012, Lima, Ohio

"Rachel blew the audition!" Santana just looked horrified. "How the hell'd that happen? She practically came out of the womb singing that damn song."

Quinn looked sad. "I don't know. She's never caved under pressure before but I guess it could happen to anyone."

"I blame doughboy and that damned wedding stuff getting to her." Santana crossed her arms and huffed.

"Maybe," Quinn scrunched up her nose. "I feel really bad for her though."

Santana nodded. "Did you accept the accommodation from Yale?"

"Yeah, but it's single only so I'm not sure I want to go without Beth. Mom said I should leave her here and she'd take care of her until I graduate, but four years without seeing her every day just feels wrong. Maybe I should just go to OSU instead."

"Hey, no way, Q. You got into Yale! Like only one of the best universities in the world. You'll be set for life after that. Beth will understand that leaving her here is part of ensuring she has a great future once you have your bachelor's degree. I know how much you'll miss the little munchkin, but this is too big a chance to blow and if anyone deserves a great life, it's you."

Quinn shook her head. "She won't understand. She's still so small and can't understand things like this. All she will know is that I abandoned her to go away to college. It's selfish."

Everything was going wrong and Santana didn't like it one bit. The only bit of good news they'd had was winning regionals a few weeks ago. Mr Schue was planning their trip to Chicago already.

Santana crouched beside Quinn and placed her hands on the blonde's slender thighs. "Beth will be fine. You need to go to Yale. If it's possible to find a way to get a place together in sophomore year, we'll do it and I'll help you take care of her. We'll find a way, I promise." She just had to hope that one of her applications worked out.

—

"I got in!" Rachel stared at the NYADA stamp on the letter and her mouth fell open. "I can't believe I got in."

It didn't take long for word to get around that after their amazing win in Chicago, Rachel had been accepted to NYADA. Quinn was thrilled for her. They had been through a rocky patch earlier in the year, but now, even if she deferred a year as she suggested, Rachel was going to New York where she belonged and things were working out okay for the rest of them too. Santana had been offered a place in Hartford, so Quinn agreed that they could make things work okay even if her mom kept Beth for the time being.

Rachel sat in the choir room just looking around one last time before they went to their graduation ceremony.

"Hey," Quinn rolled in. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

Rachel stood and smiled at her. "You found me," she shrugged. The warmth and affection radiated from the short woman.

"I just wanted to congratulate you; I heard about NYADA."

Rachel's smile widened even more.

"I know I will still be here next year, but I can taste New York again for the first time in a month and it feels amazing." A dreamy look washed over Rachel's tan features.

"About that," Quinn's face changed.

"What?"

"Come and sit down with me for a moment," the blonde nodded at the piano stool and Rachel walked over to sit beside her. Taking a deep breath and risking another void between them, Quinn launched into the speech she had prepared in her head.

"You can't stay here next year, Rach. I think Finn is cute and all, and I know how good a friend Kurt has been but you cannot put your life on hold for them. As much as you think New York will wait, you're wrong about that. It won't wait and I know you will still sing next year if you stay but I watched you on that stage and you owned it. You are amazing and I'm worried that some of that might wear off without Glee next year. You'll get distracted by other things and it might just take that edge off you. Please don't defer. Take your shot now while you can."

"Quinn, I can't go without Finn. You know how much I love him."

"I know, but we never know what the future holds and things change, especially our feelings as teenagers. We don't know what we want for sure and I just think you should take the chances you get now."

"But…" Rachel lifted her head and glanced at the ceiling preparing an argument to defend her decision.

"Rachel, look at me." Quinn's voice softened. "I thought the same thing a few weeks ago. Santana didn't have a confirmed place and I just didn't think I could leave her and Beth for a year at least to go to Yale but she convinced me that I would miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. I nearly died, Rach. I came close to losing everything and if that didn't teach us all a lesson about grabbing the opportunities when they find us, we haven't learned a damned thing and this was all for nothing." She waved at her legs. "I thought this was just some weird kind of punishment from God for a while, but it wasn't. It was just life happening and we never know what the future has in store so we have to take a risk every now and then. Finn will find his way to you if that's what you both want but you shouldn't risk everything you ever wanted banking on that."

Rachel had tears welling. She nodded solemnly and stood. Taking a deep breath she steadied herself and then reached out and gave Quinn the longest hug, mumbling in the blonde's ear as she held on "Do you think I'm being selfish? I don't want to stay. I want to go to New York."

Quinn chuckled softly. "You're not being selfish, just fulfilling your destiny."

Rachel nodded. "Thank you for this."

The blonde nodded. "I think it's time to get ready, don't you?"

Rachel took her hand and pulled her towards the door, running straight into a worried looking Latina.

"What the hell, hurry up you two. We need to get moving or miss the ceremony." San handed Quinn her gown and plonked the cap on her head, lopsided, before taking the back of the chair and pushing her towards the auditorium while the blonde held onto everything.

"Slow down, San or you'll throw me out of the chair."

"You shouldn't have spent so much time counselling Berry. Do you have your speech ready?"

"I guess," she shoved her hand into her pocket and pulled out the folded paper.

San came to a halt outside the entrance and helped Quinn into her gown. Their classmates were already in line and chatted excitedly.

Quinn took a deep breath and fastened her robe.

—

"Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for McKinley High School's class of two thousand-twelve." Figgins waved his hand with a flourish. "And now, please settle down for the valedictorian, Quinn Fabray." Figgins exaggerated the vowels in her name as always.

She gulped audibly and rolled across the stage to the microphone, cleared her throat and wondered if her voice might come out like a squeak instead of clear and confident. She had always been good at faking it, even under pressure.

"I wondered how I would feel about this day when it finally came," she began a little hesitantly. "Which is funny really because I feel really full and yet only half of me feels anything," she shrugged and a ripple of laughter went through the audience and her classmates stood behind.

"If you asked me four years ago what my life would look like today, I would have run away screaming - like literally!" More laughter followed. "But actually its pretty great. I somehow lost my childhood in a whole heap of mistakes and yet I feel great right now. Life isn't a smooth path, it's a road with plenty of obstacles and sometimes they seem insurmountable, but they aren't. Sure we might get a little bruised or scarred along the way from all the trips and falls but they just help to guide us and teach us a few lessons. I learned a lot here at McKinley. I learned who to trust and who to listen to. I learned that I can handle much more than I thought and I have more to offer than I imagined. I learned to trust people again after being a little burned. I found myself in a different world to the one I used to inhabit and it was scary but I feel stronger for having survived the experience. I lost part of myself that I loved and yet I found some other things that more than filled the gap. I realised that true friends are those that stay; when you can't run away from your problems, they don't either."

A round of applause followed and she felt a hand on her shoulder. It didn't matter whose it was just that one of her friends reached out and let her know she was talking about them.

"Years from now, we will all look back on this time and remember some of the events and some of the people. We can't take everything with us, but we can always take the time to thank those who made the experience special. I would like to thank Mr Schuester in particular for making my experience here memorable. Glee gave me a home when I didn't know where I belonged and not just me." There were whoops and cheers as the modest man waved thanks towards his students.

"I am thrilled to be going to the next chapter of my life and like so many others, I know that getting through high school intact, or mostly intact in my case," more laughter followed her wry smile, "has given me the courage to face the new challenges that lie ahead. Thanks to our families and friends for their support and encouragement and congratulations to everyone graduating today."

She was relieved when it was over. Santana hugged her from behind and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Great speech but I don't know why you were so worried about it."

The blonde rolled her eyes and held her girlfriend's hands over her heart. "Thanks for the support," she shouted amongst the noise on stage.

—

August 2012, Lima, Ohio

"Do you need this comforter?" Judy held it in her arms after fishing around in the bottom of the closet.

"Hmmm, I'm going to say no." Quinn was somewhat less than decisive.

"Winter on the east coast isn't going to be any less cold than here, sweetheart."

Quinn shrugged. "I'll be fine mom. I'm not going to freeze to death, besides, I'll be back for a weekend or two before the worst of winter. I can take it then."

Judy frowned. She wasn't overly pleased that Quinn and Santana were driving to Connecticut, but Quinn had insisted she needed the car.

 _"I feel like I had my legs cut off without it," she had cracked a wry smile as she let her mouth run away with her._

 _"Don't you sass me young lady," Judy replied._

 _"Young lady? Mom, really?"_

They had both fallen about laughing for a while. And then Judy cried because her baby was leaving home for college and she was absolutely worried to death about her.

 _"I'm going to be fine mom, really. I'll be super cautious and make sure I take care of myself. There won't be any frat parties or sorority parties either on my card. I'll see the nurse regularly to get checked out. As if San's going to let me get away with being careless anyway."_

That was true at least. Santana had been to see Judy. The teenager had promised the older woman that she would check on Quinn each day and they would see each other most weekends. If she wasn't looking after her health, the Latina promised she'd go all Lima Heights on her.

 _"What does that actually mean?" Judy had asked. "You're not going to be violent."_

 _Santana had rolled her eyes. "It's just what I say I'm going to do when I want to intimidate someone. Let's just say it works sufficiently to get them to rethink their actions," an evil little grin appeared on her face._

Judy just laughed and gave her a hug.

But now reality was setting in; they were actually packing up most of Quinn's things to take with her and it made the room feel very empty all of a sudden.

Beth toddled into the room with her favourite teddy bear and plopped down in the middle of the piles of things Quinn needed to take with her. Her room was like an obstacle course.

"Grandma," Quinn called out. "Beth escaped again."

"There you are my angel," the older woman appeared and scooped her up. "Every time I turn my back you go running off."

Quinn smiled at her daughter. "Here, grandma, let me have her for a bit. I've hardly spent any time with her the last few days."

Beth was dropped down into Quinn's lap. She had a big grin on her face and waved her bear at Quinn.

"Momma, teddy," followed by some baby nonsense emerged.

"Is teddy hungry?"

Beth shook her head.

"Is Beth hungry? Do you want some raisins?" Quinn reached behind her for a small box of raisins sat on the bedside table. Tipping the box out into her palm, she let Beth pick at them for a few minutes. "Maybe I will take the comforter, mom." It would remind her of home when she missed everyone in Lima.

—

2020 Manhattan, New York

"This is soooooooo nice, mom."

Quinn grinned at her daughter. "Thank Aunt Rach, she found it for us." Placing her bag on the small table in the entry to their hotel suite, the blonde glanced around. It was really nice, in fact it might have been the fanciest hotel room she had ever been in. It was bigger than the first house she and Santana had shared in college.

"Will we see her today?" Beth ran back to speak to Quinn. "Tana said she was probably busy, but I really want to see her. I missed her so much after she stayed all summer."

"I think she has to do something today, but if she can make dinner with us, I'm sure she will. She has odd work hours remember."

Beth slid onto Quinn's knees and wrapped her arm around the seated woman's neck. "I'm glad you don't work weird times, mom. I would miss you too much."

The girl was growing up fast, quite literally, but she was still Quinn's baby at times.

"Me too, baby. Where's Santana got to?"

"She was just putting bags in the bedroom, but they're like miles away," Beth exaggerated wildly.

A dry chuckle followed from her mother. "Go see where she is. I'm going to make a drink, if the kitchen is wheelie friendly."

"I bet it is, Aunt Rach would never send us somewhere bad for you."

Quinn acknowledged the truth in that. Rachel would have sent her neurotic assistant round to check the place out no doubt.

She had no sooner made her way into the kitchen, listening to Santana and Beth having a lively conversation about the weight of their daughter's suitcase and whether or not she had in fact packed the kitchen sink, than the telephone rang.

"Hello?" Quinn picked it up.

"Ms Fabray?"

"Speaking," the blonde replied, tucking the receiver into her shoulder as she filled the coffee machine with water.

"This is Jason at the front desk. I had instructions from Ms Berry to check that everything was acceptable in your room. I believe she has a matinee performance this afternoon and she personally requested I take care of anything you need."

"We're fine thank you, Jason."

"She was particularly concerned with everything being accessible from your wheelchair; I trust that it is."

"I didn't check everything out just yet, but so far everything seems fine."

"You'll let me know straight away if it isn't and I will personally see to it that the situation is remedied immediately."

Quinn grinned at the VIP treatment they were getting.

"I will indeed. Thank you for checking in with us." She bid him goodbye and turned her attention back to the coffee when the phone went again.

"Hello," she expected Jason to be phoning again, but it was a female voice.

"Quinn, Rachel begged me to call and make sure everything was fine with the room. I checked it out last week and the manager assured me that it was fully accessible, but you know how Rachel is and so I wanted to check."

Quinn recognised the voice of Rachel's assistant. "Everything is great, tell her we'll see her later and not to worry."

"I will, but after the first act, she's halfway through right now and I can't actually tell her until the intermission."

"That's fine. See you later." Quinn ended the call as soon as she could. The woman drove her nuts with the rapid fire conversation. She went back to making coffee and poured two cups. Santana came through rolling her eyes.

"I swear, she had more in that case than the both of us together."

A smile broke across the fair features of her wife. "She's growing up, San. Let her be."

A shrug followed. "Don't complain when she starts bringing home boyfriends with tattoos."

The smile faded from Quinn's lips. "Did she mention a boyfriend?"

Santana leaned over and kissed Quinn. "I was joking!"

The blonde balled up a fist and threw it at her wife's bicep.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Scaring the crap out of me."

A dry chuckle sounded. "But you still love me right?"

Quinn's face turned from scowl to cute grin. "Maybe," she was coy for a moment. "How long do you figure we wait before the boyfriend 'talk'?"

"I'd say until she's a teenager. Wait for the hormones to kick in first," she replied before dropping into Quinn's lap. They shared a relaxed hug. "This is a nice place. Berry did good."

"She seems excited each time I talk to her. Not sure if it's the new show or the grief counsellor, but I'm relieved."

Chewing the inside of her mouth a little, Santana confessed. "I talked to her about that actually."

"You did? I'm surprised; I wouldn't have thought you were comfortable talking about that with anyone."

"I've grown," the Latina gave Quinn a sad smile. "I told her about my therapy and she understood I think."

"That couldn't have been easy for you."

"No, but I wanted her to see what she couldn't. You saw how she was drinking, that was only going to go in one direction if she didn't sort herself out. It needed to be said."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her about not being able to let go of my anger at what happened to you. Even told her that I missed who you used to be back when we first met."

A raised eyebrow indicated Quinn really was surprised how much Santana had been willing to share.

"I still do, but I'm not angry about it anymore. We're okay you and me, right?"

A soft smile spread across the blonde's face. "Yeah, we're okay. Everyone I know is jealous of our relationship because even though our lives aren't perfect, we've always known what we wanted."

"Not everything," San blushed a little. "I was kind of thinking, Beth growing up so quickly kind of caught me out some. I don't think she should be a teenager before she has a little brother or sister do you?"

Quinn tilted her head to the side, questioning with her eyes. "Another baby?"

A shrug followed. "Maybe even more than one, who's counting? And you know, we're a little more financially stable now so I could … I mean if you want or you could…" another shrug followed.

Quinn beamed. "Another baby? I wouldn't mind which of us, I just didn't think you were interested right now."

"I love you and Beth; I'm happy but I'd love another baby too."

They both heard a sound and turned to see Beth staring at them. A sudden icy shiver passed across Quinn's shoulders. They should have had a talk with Beth first.

"What does that mean?" the younger blonde seemed unsure. "What you were talking about just now?"

"Beth, come here," Quinn nudged at San to get up.

"What's going on?" the girl repeated.

"Nothing is going on. We were just thinking aloud and it was careless. I didn't realise you were there." Quinn motioned for Beth to sit in her lap.

"Well I was and I want to know."

"San and I were just talking about the possibility of having another baby. We wouldn't have done anything about it without talking to you first. You just caught us by surprise before we had a chance to think about it some more."

"You want to have another baby?" Beth seemed a little taken aback. They had never mentioned it before.

Santana crouched down and sat on her haunches. "Babe, we aren't going to do anything without including you, but I would like for you to have a baby brother or sister. Now I have my masters and we are both established at work," she pointed at Quinn, "makes it a good time to be thinking about this."

Beth went quiet for a moment. "Who is going to have the baby, you or mom?"

"We only just started talking about it now. We haven't come to any decisions." Santana had always been honest with Beth and that wasn't going to change.

"It would be nice for you, because mom had me." Beth shrugged. "Just thinking that's all."

Quinn was briefly perplexed and then a half smile appeared. She tugged at Beth's shoulder so the girl faced her. "You think it's a good idea, B?"

Beth just nodded. "I think it would be really nice to have another kid in the house." She sounded so grown up, Quinn was really proud of her.

"I guess it's settled then," San stood up. "Come on, we better get moving if we are going to be on time to meet Aunt Rachel."

Beth scooted up instantly and ran to get her things.

Santana watched her leave and took Quinn's outstretched hand. "I really, really love you a lot," the blonde said softly.

The darker woman simply leaned over and kissed her firmly on the lips, stealing her breath and her heart in one move.

—


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry this has been so long to get out. It's the penultimate chapter.

The usual disclaimer applies.

Chapter 14

They took their seats in the restaurant, Rachel was running late as usual, but was on her way so drinks were ordered and the three of them waited patiently. It was half an hour after they were supposed to be there before the diva arrived, sunglasses on despite it being dark already. It still wasn't enough of a disguise to prevent the stares. For once Quinn was glad they weren't staring at her, or not as much anyway. What the Fabray-Lopez family didn't know was that Jesse would be coming as well. A fifth chair was hastily added and a bottle of Champagne placed in an ice bucket beside them.

Quinn eyed her glass of ice water and then the bottle. She gave Rachel a grin and took the proffered flute of pale golden Veuve Clicquot.

"What's this in aid of?" Quinn frowned at Beth wanting a glass and forced the OJ back in her daughter's hand instead. "Not until you are older, B!"

"We're moving in together," Rachel didn't even attempt to disguise the news. She actually wanted to tell everyone, in fact she almost did, most of the restaurant must have heard her.

Congratulations followed and so did more Champagne.

Beth wanted the bathroom a short while after the news and so Santana went with her, followed by Rachel, who wanted to fix her makeup, leaving Jesse and Quinn alone at the table.

"Why do girls always have to go in pairs?" Jesse mused with a grin on his face as he followed Rachel with his eyes.

"I have no idea," the blonde replied, equally amused at the thought. "Most of the time, it's not even to pee."

They chuckled and then Jesse eyed her closely. "Aren't you going to start grilling me and letting me know that I must not break her heart or you will break my face?"

A shake of the head and soft rumble of laughter suggested Quinn was amused at the thought. "I'd leave that one to San, more her style than mine. I'd probably just make life really difficult for you, or maybe just destroy your psyche with biting sarcasm."

"I figured. But just so you know, I'm not going to do that. I promise."

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "You don't strike me as the sincere type, though I don't doubt your ability to act it."

Jesse hung his head briefly. "You know what I did and I have apologised too many times for it already. I won't treat her like that again, I swear to you. She broke my heart as well."

Quinn scrunched up her nose. "She was in love with Finn. It wasn't your fault."

"The ghost of Hudson still haunts me."

Shaking her head in a different way, the blonde assured him that wasn't the case anymore. "He's been laid to rest finally. You can stop worrying about that now."

"I'm not so sure. Can I really compete with a perfect memory?"

"That's not how it was. And he's gone, Jesse. She knows that and although it took her a while to get over him, she's finally ready for something permanent."

"But I get the impression they were kind of soul mates," he countered.

"They were, but there's no rule that says you can only have one soul mate in your lifetime. I told her when we were younger that marrying too young was a mistake, because she had no idea what she would want ten years in the future."

He nodded in understanding.

"You don't think I'm a mistake?"

A wry smile spread across the beautiful candlelit features. "No, I don't. She's thought about this for a while and I tried to encourage her to go out with someone I know; a nice guy actually, but she said no. She needs someone who understands and can live in her world. That's why, soul mate or not, Finn and Rachel would never have worked in the long run and they both knew it. He was happiest in Lima and she couldn't wait to escape."

The smile spread to Jesse now.

"You know, you're pretty wise."

"I'm an old soul," she replied. "I guess I always have been. I really hope it works out for you both."

"Me too. Think we have a shot?"

"Rachel is very loyal and passionate. Don't let her down and she will make you happy."

"I have to admit to being a little jealous of the two of you. You're great friends and she values your opinion above all others."

Quinn shook her head again. "That's because we're polar opposites, but you don't need to worry about me. Rachel and I have never had any interest in each other, that's why we've been able to stay friends through everything. We're best friends, we can tell each other the worst and know it will be okay. She can't do that with you because as much as she is attracted to you, she also wants to be attractive for you. It's the same with San and me."

"I think I admire your bravery, Quinn. I find her a little scary."

Quinn outright belly laughed. "She's not scary, she's just fierce. It's not the same thing. She only gets mad when she cares. If she gets mad at you, it's because she cares about you."

"I'm not going to risk pissing her off," he held his hands up defensively.

They were interrupted by Beth running back over and excitedly pointing out that she now had lip gloss on, courtesy of Rachel.

"She said she bought two new ones and I could have one," Beth waved the tube at Quinn.

Rolling her eyes, Quinn pulled her daughter over and wrapped her arms around her. "No growing up too fast my girl, I don't want my baby getting old before her time."

Beth's nose wrinkled. "What does that mean? I'm not a baby."

"You're my baby and you always will be," Quinn tickled her ribs and made Beth squirm around.

"Mom, stop!" She protested, but not very much.

Santana and Rachel returned.

"Thank you for giving her the lips gloss, Rach."

"It's nothing, really. She was just admiring it and I had a couple of new ones in my bag. You don't mind do you?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, it's fine. For special occasions," she turned and eyed Beth who just grinned triumphantly.

—

August 2012, New Haven, Connecticut

Quinn visited the disability advisory centre as soon as she arrived and received a whole pack of stuff so she could get around. Everyone seemed very helpful and willing to make sure she felt part of the community.

Santana was going to stay overnight and then make her way to Hartford via train. The dorm room she would stay in for the year was roomy and bright. It was more like a large apartment really. Five rooms on the ground floor with a bathroom, kitchen and living room to share. Quinn was a little nervous about it, but she would have privacy when needed, whilst at the same time, companionship from the others in the residence. The only down side was no elevator to the two floors above. Well, she had promised her mom that she wouldn't be partying.

"Here," Santana held out a wrapped gift. "I wanted to give you something meaningful."

Quinn took the small parcel and pulled at the decorative ribbon and then the brown paper wrapping underneath. She took out the picture frame it contained. The photo inside was of her and Santana pushing Beth on a swing at the park. The little girl was laughing and Quinn had the cutest smile on her face, or so Santana thought when she had chosen the picture.

Quinn sniffed and scrubbed at her eyes. "Thank you," she couldn't think of anything else to say. Reverently she took the stand and opened it out so the frame would sit beside her bed. "I miss her already." She ran her fingers over the picture.

Santana dropped onto the bed and tugged at the wheelchair to pull Quinn round to face her. "This will all work okay. You're going to be amazing here and get the best education and then we'll get a place together so Beth can come and live with us. Things are going to be okay,Q."

The blonde nodded and squeezed her lover's hands in return. "I believe you."

"This is the beginning of our lives together," the Latina stroked the soft skin along Quinn's jaw and smiled.

The blonde eyed up the bed. "Well we're here twenty-four hours before everyone else, want to christen the bed?"

"Just when I think I know you," Santana shook her head and then pulled Quinn on top of her, rolling them both into the middle of the mattress.

The blonde shrieked in surprise but secretly loving that Santana was never afraid to be physical with her.

—

Christmas 2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"Oh my God, my butt is gonna freeze off," Santana stomped her boots on the mat by the front door. Clumps of snow fell from the soles onto the coir. She picked up one of Rachel's bags and hit the bottom to remove the slush from around the wheels.

"Thank you for inviting us," Jesse gave her a dimpled grin.

"Not a problem, Rachel's family, so I guess by default you are as well now."

The door swung open and an excited Beth jumped up and down. Rachel dragged her other bag up the shallow slope of the ramp to the door.

"Beth!" The pair shared a big hug and then the girl tentatively gave Jesse a hug too, affectionate as always, but still getting to know the sandy haired man.

"Mom is so excited that you're coming for the holidays. She's been cooking all morning."

They moved noisily into the hallway and Santana slammed the door behind her to keep the heat from escaping.

"Wow, it's warm in here," Jesse started to remove his outer layers.

"That's because of mom," Beth explained, serious all of a sudden. "She gets cold really easily." The girl took his coat and hung it in the hall closet.

"Quinn's paralysis makes it hard to control her body temperature," Rachel shook her heavy wool coat from her shoulders and handed it over to Beth with thanks. "The house is temperature controlled."

Jesse nodded thoughtfully, but made no comment. He and Rachel had talked a little about the accident but he had shied away from details, not wanting to admit that he was a little squeamish.

There was a low rumble of wheels on hardwood floor that signalled Quinn's arrival and after an enthusiastic welcome, Beth insisted on taking Jesse for a tour of the house. He was bodily dragged up the staircase while the rest trailed into the kitchen for hot coffee.

"It's so cosy in here," Rachel parked herself at the end of the kitchen counter, finally removing the scarf around her neck now she had thawed out. "The garden is so pretty covered in snow."

Quinn obviously didn't think much of the weather. "I can't wait for it to thaw out and disappear."

Rachel tilted her head a little sadly. "I guess it's not much fun for you."

Quinn gave a wry smile. "No, the snow becomes slush and I never liked slush," she gave a wry smile thinking about the years of frozen sugary drinks tossed in their faces at school. "Not that titanium rusts, but still it's not much fun out for me unless the sidewalks are clear; I cannot keep anything clean for more than a few seconds. Good excuse to curl up in front of the fire and watch old movies."

White teeth broke through the red of Rachel's lips in response.

"So Jesse?" Santana massaged Quinn's shouldered while quizzing their mutual friend. "Not such a douche it turns out. You moved in together?"

Rachel nodded. "A little while ago. It's actually really nice to have someone who knows me from back home but also understands the pressures of being on Broadway."

"I'm glad you're happy," Quinn reached out and gave the short woman a squeeze on the hand.

"I really am." Rachel could hear Beth and Jesse returning; no doubt the enticing smell of coffee had drawn him in.

"Santana, Beth tells me you designed the house; it's amazing, truly." Jesse's eyes lit up at the carafe sat on the counter.

"Thank you. Glad you like it and congrats on moving in together."

He blushed slightly. "You told them then?" he asked Rachel.

"I tell them everything," she said coyly which made him blush even more.

"Now I'm really in trouble."

Quinn just smiled softly as Jesse wove his fingers in between Rachel's. They made an attractive couple; if things went well, their children would be beautiful. "Stay here a minute, there's something I want to do." Quinn went off towards her studio.

"Mom's getting her camera," Beth groaned.

"Watch it!"

"Sorry, Santi." Beth curried favour with her own pet name for the Latina. It was funny, because she thought of her as a parent, but had never called her anything other than Santana or Santi. She didn't even remember life before then, just like she couldn't remember her mom being able to walk - it was as though life for her had begun after all that. After Lima. Her mom had asked a few times in the past if she could remember when she went away for a while and left her with grandma, but she couldn't remember that either. She could recall the small house in New Haven though. Her bedroom with the old yellow flowery wallpaper and the pine chest of drawers with all her things in it. They didn't have much then, not like now with the house and the nice cars. She always remembered that was where she had been when she was younger and didn't like it when some of the rich kids at school teased the poorer ones. She knew they hadn't always been so comfortable.

Quinn came back, Camera and tripod balanced across her knees. She quickly set it up and mounted the camera, toyed with the settings and then organised everyone together in a group. After checking the screen, she briefly made a small adjustment and set the shutter with a ten-second countdown.

"Quick make some room for me," she rolled over and spun neatly into the middle of the group with a couple of seconds still to spare. The shutter clicked and everyone relaxed again.

—

2014, New Haven, Connecticut

"Sí mi niña, dormir," Santana had just put Beth down for the night. The toddler was suffering from a bit of a cold and wanted her stuffed lion that Rachel had sent from New York. Squeezing the animal against her chest, she snuffled and closed her eyes with a yawn.

Santana stayed a little while stroking the soft blonde hair back from her warm face. She prayed there wouldn't be a nightmare like last night. The Tylenol should have worked it's magic by now and the last thing she needed was to be up in the night with the prospect of an early morning drive back to Hartford for classes.

Ten minutes later, she padded softly back to the small living room.

"She okay?" Quinn looked up from her book. She was studying something technical looking and folded it back over, placing it on the arm of the shabby old sofa.

"Yeah, she was out like a light."

Quinn had little worry lines around her eyes.

"Relax, it's just a cold."

The blonde shook her head. Her mom had always been around before with helpful advice about Beth, only now she was on her own, or she and San were on their own and it was more worrying than she wanted to admit. What if she got it wrong and something serious was brewing.

"It's just a cold," Santana reiterated, reading Quinn's mind.

A puff of air escaped pink lips. "Do you think I should call mom?"

"No, we'll check on her in a little while and make sure she's okay before we go to bed. It's not like this is the first time she's been sick. She's a kid, kids get sick."

Quinn's face paled suddenly.

"What?" The Latina looked at her girlfriend and wondered if Quinn was getting sick too.

"I just realised how mom must have felt when I got sick. God, I'm stressed about a cold, what must it have been like after my accident?"

"Which one?" Santana chuckled. "You gave us a couple of scares, remember?" She dropped beside her and the movement caused Quinn to slide into Santana's chest as the other woman's weight hit the cushions. They wrapped each other in an embrace.

"Being a parent is really scary, especially on your own," Quinn mused.

"You're not on your own any more, Q. You got me now."

—

January 2021, Riverside, Connecticut

Having a doctor as a friend had it's perks. Calvin had one of his colleagues meet up with Quinn and Santana. The fertility expert checked them both out and so they had a choice. It was hard to decide what they were going to do, but Beth's words had struck the Latina. Maybe she should be the one to carry their new addition. It made sense on a number of levels.

"How do you feel about it?"

Quinn smiled and squeezed her hand. "I don't care. If you want me to do it, I would love to, but I had a baby and I don't need to have another. It might be easier, work wise, for me to do it. You're still getting established and I can work from home."

Santana nodded at the sense of it. "I guess that might make sense, but I would worry about you all the time. Especially later on, did you think about that? It would get hard for you."

Quinn shrugged. "Everything is hard for me, but it doesn't stop me does it?"

Santana chuckled. "No, it hasn't. But I do feel something inside me at the thought of having that special something that you have with Beth. I know she respects me as her guardian, but I'm not her mom. That's something special and I think I would like that a lot."

If Quinn was honest with herself, she knew eventually someone as passionate about life as Santana would want to have a baby and there was no rule that said they couldn't have more later on.

"You're right. It would be selfish for me to want that again without letting you experience it as well. I think that's our decision made."

It had been that easy.

—

March 2024, Riverside, Connecticut

Beth trudged downstairs with a frown. Her little brother had put sticky fingers over her math homework; she wasn't happy.

"Mom!" she called out, mildly furious.

"What, baby?" Quinn's worried face reflected the angry tone in her daughter's voice as she appeared in the hallway.

"He did it again. Went in my room while I was getting a shower and put jelly on my homework!" Beth held out the paper with equations of some sort all over and toddler-sized smudged pink marks from strawberry jelly on top of that. "I can't hand this in."

"Can't you just print off another copy and fill that out?" Quinn knew it was inconvenient but hardly the end of the world.

"Of course I can, but it's not the point and it was due in this morning." A heavy sigh escaped the teenager's lips. "I keep telling him not to touch the things on my desk, but he doesn't listen."

"He doesn't understand baby, he's only two and bit. You were a toddler yourself not that long ago."

"Mom!" Beth whined, hoping not to get some sort of lecture about the things she used to do when she was little. "Please just ask him not to mess with my schoolwork."

As if he knew somehow that he was being talked about, a small bundle of energy ran out of the kitchen.

Beth groaned again.

"Hey little man," Quinn intercepted him and tugged his arms to climb up into her lap. He clumsily trod on her feet and clambered up. He was soft and a bit pudgy with baby fat, but getting taller and more agile as the weeks went by. He was also in full-blown terrible-two's mode. "What did you do in Beth's room?"

He looked confused and put his fingers in his mouth and mumbled nonsense.

"Tobes, look what you did." Beth held out the sheet of paper.

He giggled and pointed and then clapped his hands.

"Tobias, look at me," Quinn's face turned serious. "That's not funny. This is Beth's work for school. That was naughty."

The little boy's face fell at familiar words and the expression on Quinn's face.

"You need to say sorry to Beth," she continued to frown at him. They were trying to set some boundaries, but he was cheeky and took advantage of Beth's innate kindness on a regular basis. She wasn't impatient by nature and never resorted to hitting him like younger siblings might when he was being impudent.

He said sorry in his babyish tones and looked guilty, then he did what kittle kids in trouble often did and started crying. A few weeks ago it might have drawn more sympathy, but not now.

"Don't cry Tobias, you said sorry and Beth's not angry with you."

Beth eyed him and shook her head. "Please don't do it again, Tobes." She was upset but he was just a little kid and it was hard to stay mad at him for long, especially with snot running from his nose. "I'll try to wipe it off," she rolled her eyes again. "I can't hand it in like this, but I can scan and email it in."

"Thanks, Beth." Quinn was grateful for the lack of teenage overreaction from her daughter. "Can you ask Santana to bring out a cloth. I'm guessing there's a trail of pink handprints everywhere upstairs. I'll take him to wash his hands, again! I only turned my back for a moment, I swear."

Beth watched her mom depart for the downstairs bathroom with Tobias on her lap and went to find Tana.

"What did he do this time?"

"Got the remains of breakfast all over the house," Beth shrugged. She went to fetch a pack of cleaning wipes herself. "I'm just going to wipe up the mess."

"Let me, you take care of whatever that used to be." Santana got up from her coffee and glanced at the paper. "Math. Sorry, sweetheart. I'll talk to him again."

"It's okay, mom already did. He was still snivelling when she took him to get cleaned up." Beth took a look and sighed. I'm going to try to clean it off so I don't have to write it out again."

Santana had a thought. "Leave this with me. You go wipe upstairs."

Beth happily left the sticky mess with Santana and went to find the trail of handprints instead.

Santana took a kitchen towel and dampened it slightly, sighing. A careful few swipes removed the worst of the mess, but the jelly had stained the paper.

She quickly took out her phone and photographed the four pages of completed work. It was readable thanks to Beth's neat presentation. She sent the photos to her daughter's phone and hoped she would be able to email it to her math teacher or at least print it out.

Finished, she threw it away in the kitchen trash just as Tobias ran back in the room.

"Mama!" He called out with a restored grin.

She picked him up and sat him on the countertop. Quinn followed behind moments later. He was always a little ahead of the blonde now he was running everywhere.

Quinn sighed. "Did Beth show you?"

Santana nodded. "What are we going to do with you, my boy?" Tobias looked guilty again, knowing he was in trouble. "Why did you do that, Tobias? You need to wash your hands when they get messy."

His faced scrunched up. He was a messy child and with asserting his independence, it wasn't easy to keep him or the house clean of late.

"No more going into Beth's room and touching her stuff, okay?"

He blinked big dark eyelashes and there was the problem. He was a bit naughty, very messy, quick at spreading chaos around the place and so damn cute!

"It's just too hard to stay mad at him," Quinn noted. "He gives you the big eyes and cheeky smile or the sad face; both work equally well. He's going to be trouble when he's older."

"I know," Santana sighed yet again. "I'm going to talk to Beth; we need to keep him out of her room. I'm going to see about getting a Tobias-proof handle on her door."

Quinn smiled. The easy, low handles they had put everywhere for her convenience also made them easy for toddlers. Their stuff getting messed up was one thing, but poor Beth was tormented by the little tyke.

Santana dropped him back down to the floor and he went to play with his toys by the window. "No one said parenting was easy, but you'd just think it might be _easier_ second time around." She found an arm wrapped around her hips and Quinn's head pressed into her ribs.

"I don't think it works like that," she chuckled. "And no harm was done, except to Beth's homework obviously. I'll write a note for her math teacher to explain."

"No need, I photo'd it and mailed them to her. She should be able to print it out. Problem solved."

"We make a good team," Quinn nodded.

"Yeah we do," Santana agreed, rubbing circles over her wife's back and shoulders. She was thrilled Quinn didn't say 'despite' anything. She used to do that a lot when Beth was younger. She always qualified every encouraging statement with a 'despite'. They were good together and they were good parents, period.

"I think Tobias is going to be hellish as a teenager. Look at the pair of us. He doesn't have any hope." Santana mused, watching their son play with a small collection of cars on a mat.

"I don't know. Beth turned out pretty good. Where'd she go? Back to her room to sulk?"

"No actually, she came in here and took some wipes to go clean up the mess."

Beth arrived back with a handful of pink-stained wipes. "I think I got them all. He was everywhere, all up the stairs, on my door and desk," she had a pained expression. "Yuck," she threw them in the trash. "How can someone so small cause so much mess?"

"It's a talent," Santana smirked. "I sent you pictures of your work but I threw it away, B. It was wrecked."

She shrugged. "It's okay. I can print it out. Thanks."

"Don't thank us," Santana waved away the gratitude. "We're the ones who inflicted him on you."

Beth wrinkled her nose. "I like having a brother. It will be fun to tease him when he's a teenager."

Quinn chuckled. "You didn't need to clean up his mess, baby. That was kind of you."

She shrugged again. "I like to help. I'm not a little kid anymore." Beth toed the ground. "So I was going to ask, as I'm older and more sensible," her voice took on the bargaining tone of teenagers everywhere, "if I can go to a party at the weekend."

Quinn blanched. Parties beyond those held in front of parents at swimming pools and bowling alleys didn't sit well with her for obvious reasons. Beth was fourteen and it had to happen eventually, but it didn't mean she had to like it.

"That depends on whose party, where it's at and how late home you intend to be," Santana replied. "You're going to have to deal with me on this one; your mom can't act rationally about this topic." A sly grin appeared. "You know how your arrival was somewhat unplanned, B."

Beth paled herself then. "It's not that kind of party, mom, I swear."

The blonde heaved a sigh of relief. "Then we can talk about it," she calmed. "Or maybe San's right, you and she can take about it. I can't be rational about this kind of thing." Everyone had their limits.

—

The invitation came through the mail after Santana had left for work that morning and Beth was on the bus to school.

It was gilt embossed and very fancy, but then Quinn wouldn't have suspected anything else.

She didn't tear it open, instead taking a knife and sliding it along the seam of the envelope. Inside she found the card bearing the information she had known about already.

 _Hiram and Leroy Berry cordially invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Rachel & Mr Jesse St James… _etc, etc _._

A big smile spread across the fine features of Quinn's face. It had been a little while since they had seen the pair, though they still talked on the phone and sent messages frequently. She cast her mind back to Thanksgiving last November.

The couple had arrived for a few days and they all sat around the dinner table to celebrate everything good in their lives that year. Rachel had quietly requested her best friends should avoid booking a family vacation in July for a very special occasion. Everyone had gone a bit nuts, waiting impatiently at times, for the couple to set a date. They had been content living together for a while and Jesse in particular hadn't wanted Rachel to rush into something she would later regret; she'd done that in the past and it hadn't worked out well.

They'd seen Rachel at Christmas. She asked Quinn to go to McKinley for a little visit and the blonde had agreed, suspecting that there was someone she needed to talk to.

 _It had been freezing, and Quinn did not handle the cold well, but let the physical pain be a reminder of how fortunate she was to be alive despite her injury._

 _Getting to the far side of the football field hadn't been easy. The grass was frozen, though without snow thank goodness. She had to adjust her legs every few yards, because the frozen turf was rock hard and uneven; her feet kept bouncing off the footplate and she had to drag them back on._

 _Santana would have gone nuts at her for being out there, but Tobias needed someone to watch him, so she had been too distracted to question her about their plans._

 _As they approached the tree, Rachel had fallen silent and Quinn could just hear her own breath and heartbeat pounding. She had prepared for this; a pack of Kleenex sat in her pocket, though she didn't want to take off her winter gloves to try and open it._

 _Rachel's faux-fur hat was huge, and very diva, but her friend was actually humble, perhaps more so that she had ever seen before. The petite brunette had on a long, red winter coat buttoned right up to her chin; it went down below the dress and leggings she wore, covering the top of the knee-high boots._

 _White, frosty breath escaped from Rachel's lips as the milky-white light that was the sun, hidden behind low cloud, tried to break through. That had to be some sort of metaphor for what they were doing right now._

 _Quinn was out of breath and felt guilty that the noise she made disturbed the silence around them. Pain was burning in the centre of her spine and made her arms ache. It was freezing. She shook her hands, trying desperately to get rid of the ache and hugged herself to try and still the movement of her shivering._

 _Rachel looked at her for a long while. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you come. It's too cold." She could see the physical discomfort etched across Quinn's face, but found the blonde shaking her head._

 _"I'm fine; cold but fine, Rach. I want to be here for you."_

 _"We can go and come back another time when the weather is warmer. It can wait."_

 _"No, we're here now and once we go back in, I'll be fine again. Don't fuss over me; I'll live."_

 _Rachel clicked her tongue but knew there was no arguing with the blonde. She turned away then and looked into the pale sun, letting it blind her for a few moments. Turning back to the tree, she took a ragged breath and knelt down. There were a few weeds, white-edged with frost and which wouldn't survive the winter, but nevertheless, she didn't like that they were there. It seemed disrespectful for them to even consider growing there. She plucked at them, tugging hard. They snapped off, which wasn't helpful, but at least they were out of sight now. She flicked her wrist, throwing them behind._

 _Quinn adjusted her position yet again, trying to find a more comfortable one. She wasn't sure if her discomfort was physical or emotional._

 _Rachel looked at the tree again. "I don't know why I feel like he's here, when he's buried somewhere else," she mused._

 _"Because he is here. He'll always be here for us, Rach. He'll always be baby-faced and boyish. He'll always be slightly awkward and a bit clumsy, he'll always be wearing that jacket and sneakers. He'll never grow old to us. He'll just be here when we are, eager, grinning and trying to follow your conversation." Rachel was like a jigsaw right now. Broken in pieces, lying in a box, waiting for someone to put her back together._

 _Rachel stood. "I don't know what to say now I'm here."_

 _"Just tell him like he's on the end of a phone."_

 _She nodded and took another deep breath, holding it slightly before she started speaking._

 _"Hi Finn. I miss you still."_

 _It was always heartbreaking. It probably always would be; every time they thought about the waste of a life; of potential._

 _"I wanted to tell you that I'm getting married. It will be in the summer and this time, planned out properly. I know you didn't like Jesse and I get why, but I always liked him. We understand each other and he's grown up a lot. I think you'd like him more now. I've changed too. I'm sorry you didn't get to see that but I've talked a lot about it with Quinn and she always said that I wouldn't know what I wanted until I had some perspective. I have that now and I think us being together would never have worked in the long run." Rachel's tears ran silently as she continued to speak. "I'm glad we never got to the point where we hated each other or couldn't stand to be in the same room. I think if we'd gotten back together and I pulled you to New York, you would have been miserable. You would never have loved it the way I do and I'm sorry about that too." Her chest rose and fell. "Who I used to be at eighteen will always love you, Finn, but this me loves someone else. I just needed to tell you. Jesse will take care of me and I promise to respect him this time around." She turned back to Quinn then._

 _"Was that okay?"_

 _Quinn wiped her own tears and threw the packet of Kleenex at Rachel. "Open that for me, I need one and I'm not taking my gloves off for anyone."_

 _Bending to sit on her haunches briefly, Rachel kissed her fingertips and reached out, placing her hand on the trunk. "I hope it's peaceful where you are Finn. Goodbye."_

 _She had her eyes cast down as she walked the few paces to her best friend. "I just needed to tell him." She broke down then. Letting Quinn hold her hand and rub some life back into her. It took a few minutes to calm down, but then she offered to give Quinn a push back to the car._

 _The blonde shook her head. "I need to move to keep warm, Rach." She started to pump the wheels but stopped abruptly. "You are actually going to go through with it this time, aren't you?" Rachel looked up then and met the quirky gaze. Quinn's lips seemed to be resisting a smile, but failing a little._

 _"Are you teasing me at a time like this, Quinn Fabray?"_

 _"I might be," the reply came with half a chuckle._

 _Despite her assurance that she wanted to move herself, Rachel evened out the bumps by helping and letting Quinn adjust her legs without having to stop every few seconds. She didn't do all the work, just kept a hand on one of the handles to maintain the momentum._

 _They didn't talk much until they were back in the car. Quinn was so cold, it was coming off her in waves._

 _"I shouldn't have asked you to come with me," Rachel turned the heater up to full blast. The engine was running but it wasn't up to full heat._

 _"I'll be fine soon," Quinn's teeth chattered._

 _Rachel took her hands and rubbed them with her own. Quinn waved her off and started rubbing her thighs instead, trying to use the friction to get some heat back into her cold limbs; her legs were visibly shaking, a clear sign spasms were on their way._

 _Rachel moved the car into drive and pulled out, still not talking much._

 _Quinn's legs locked out and pain ran up her spine._

 _The brunette pulled over immediately. "What can I do to help?"_

 _"Nothing," the grimace made it obvious that it wasn't a pain-free experience. "It will stop eventually." Quinn continued to massage her thighs, but her legs weren't cooperating. "I'll be fine. You don't need to stop."_

 _"Santana will kill me if I take you back to your mom's like this."_

 _Quinn laughed despite the discomfort. "Let's go get some hot chocolate instead. Go to the drive thru."_

 _Rachel set off again and though she kept an eye on the road, she also kept an eye on Quinn. By the time they pulled up to the window and ordered drinks, Quinn's legs were just shaking rather than stiff. The spasms had lasted ten minutes but the car was warmer now and Quinn seemed only mildly uncomfortable, not distressed as she had been minutes before._

 _They pulled into a parking space but Rachel left the engine running so it didn't cool down. "I'm sorry," she sighed, holding the take-out cup to her lips to blow on the liquid._

 _"Don't be. I wanted to be there for you."_

 _"Yes, but it was too cold."_

 _"So? It was cold and I was freezing, but I'm fine now."_

 _"You are better, but not fine. I don't want you to get sick because of me."_

 _"I'm disabled, Rach. That's not the same as being sick. It always looks worse than it is."_

 _"And you always make light of the pain," the shorter woman countered._

 _"Yeah well, you get used to physical pain. It's not nearly as bad as the emotional stuff."_

 _Rachel took her right hand off the cup and placed it on Quinn's forearm. "I don't like seeing you in pain."_

 _"That feeling is mutual," Quinn met her concerned gaze, "and me being there today helped ease yours."_

 _The brunette replaced her hand on the drink. "Thank you," she breathed._

 _"Better," the blonde smiled. "Do you feel better now?"_

 _A nod followed as she sipped the soy-based drink. "I just feel the need sometimes, you know. I don't want to forget him or the past, but when I try to move on, I feel like there's this shadow following me."_

 _"Rach, you have nothing to feel guilty for. He died and you did nothing wrong but feeling guilty for living your life isn't something he would ever have wanted. You said it yourself, he set you free when you broke it off. Finn was a lot of things, but I don't think resentful was one of them. He would be happy for you that you found the person you want to be with. Jesse is that person right?"_

 _Rachel's face lit up at the mention of his name and she nodded readily._

 _"Then accept that Finn would be okay with this. You know in your heart that he would be."_

 _Another nod followed. "I'm ready now."_

Taking the invitation, Quinn placed a magnet on each corner on the fridge door and took the RSVP postcard to her desk.

Tobias wandered over and handed her a model Corvette missing both doors.

"Mommy drive," he ordered.

"We'll go out to the postbox soon, Toby. You want to walk or go in the car?"

"Car," he jumped excitedly and did his little happy dance.

"Do you want to get your swimming things ready?" They had lessons booked for later that morning.

He ran to his room as Quinn took her nicest pen and filled out the card. Hunting for a stamp, she cursed that they had none left.

"Oh, well. Looks like a visit to the store," she mumbled, glancing outside. The sun was bright even though it was still cold this time of year. It felt like spring was finally creeping out from behind winter. "At least the snow's melted."

—


	15. Chapter 15

Really sorry that I haven't finished this story before now. I struggled to get the last part right for ages, but eventually got there. For those still interested in it, thanks for sticking with it.

The usual disclaimer applies

Chapter 15

June 2024, Lima, Ohio

Rachel hadn't expected everyone she had invited to accept, but they had. She was especially surprised that Carol Hudson-Hummel was there, but then Kurt was one of her best friends and she was his step-mom. They weren't super close, but they all had a shared past.

They had selected a beautiful spot on the lake for the ceremony. It seemed fitting to be home in Ohio for this. Society wedding aside, this was for their families, not the tabloids.

Quinn fidgeted while Santana just laughed at her discomfort. "Stop wriggling, woman. You'll crease the damn dress and then Berry will be bitching in my ear about it for the rest of our lives."

"Exaggeration, much?" Quinn huffed and sat back finally happy with the fit.

Santana let her hands rest on Quinn's shoulders. She leaned forwards and smiled as she kissed Quinn's cheek. "You look amazing, babe."

"Thanks, so do you." She patted her wife's hand. "Let's go find her."

"Okay Tobes, you need to throw the petals out as you go. Don't dump them all in one go," Beth gently nudged him forwards. The boy was dressed smartly with a waistcoat to match his pants and had the basket held out in front of him ready to go. He checked behind to see both his parents waiting to set off. He waved at his grandmother who was further down the aisle and sat on the end of the row. She beckoned him forwards and he started by carefully taking out one of two petals at a time and dropping them as he went. Beth told him to drop a few every step so he kept going until he got to Grandma Judy and she gave him a little pat on the arm as he passed her.

He looked back over his shoulder and saw Beth walking ahead of mommy and momma. Everyone looked really pretty.

He stood to the side and waited, still looking around and waving at everyone he knew with a cheeky grin.

Beth arrived beside him and then mommy ran her hand through his hair and whispered "Good boy," in his ear. He smiled even bigger after that. The music was nice and played really loudly so everyone stood up, except mommy and her friend Artie. He glanced up at a worried looking Uncle Jesse. He had on his new suit that he had joked about a lot. Everyone started turning around then as Aunt Rachel came down the aisle. He couldn't see very well so mommy pulled him up in her lap and he could see more, but not over the top of everyone else.

It took a long time for Rachel to walk down the aisle, but eventually Tobias saw her and started clapping because she looked really, really pretty, like a princess.

Everyone sat down and he liked that because he could see better now. He didn't listen to what everyone said. It went on a long time.

"Mommy why is that lady crying?" He whispered into her ear and pointed to a lady sat three rows back.

Quinn turned to see Carol sniffing, but with a smile on her face. She caught her eye and put her hand on her heart as if to say she understood why the older woman would be emotional on such an occasion. Carol nodded in acknowledgement.

"Those are happy tears, Toby. That's Uncle Kurt's stepmom."

"What's a stepmom?" he whispered back with a confused face.

"I'll tell you later, now shush and listen." She gave him her stern face and raised an eyebrow which Tobias knew meant it was important so he sat quietly and watched. After a while people said more stuff and then more music came until finally, Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jesse turned and walked back in the opposite direction. Tobias wasn't really sure what all the fuss was about, but it seemed really important to everyone else so he behaved himself.

Afterwards everyone went outside into the sunshine and he got to run around with some of the other kids while the adults all said mushy stuff to each other. He tripped up though and bumped his chin on the grass and his tooth went into his lip, which hurt - a lot!

"Tobes, what did you do now?" Beth took his hand and pulled him up. He had managed to avoid grass stains on his knees, but he had blood on his chin.

Carol and Burt approached Quinn and Santana in between lots of photos being taken. They just exchanged a hug when Beth brought her little brother over, her hand under his chin to keep blood from dripping on his shirt, tie or waistcoat.

"Mom!" She called out. "Do you have a kleenex?"

Quinn had nothing with her for once, but Carol immediately had tissues out of her bag.

"Here we go," she pulled them from the packet and handed them to Quinn.

"Tobias, what did you do?"

"I fell over," mumbled words mixed with blood, tears and snot made Beth's face pale as some of it landed in her hand.

"He's bleeding," Beth pointed out the obvious. "Eurgh," she groaned at her hand.

Quinn grabbed the tissue and scooped it over his chin and handed the other one to Beth. "Clean yourself up in the bathroom, sweetheart."

Beth smiled at Uncle Kurt's parents and went off to wash her hands.

"Oh my God, Quinn. She's you," Burt watched the teenager depart.

"Without the trauma and pregnancy thank goodness," Quinn replied handing San the used tissue. "Carol, I don't suppose you have more in there do you?" The woman handed over the packet. "Thanks. He's an expert at getting into messes. I blame Santana."

The Latina huffed and grabbed her son up in the air. "Let me look at you, cheeky monkey. Did you bump your lip?"

A few more tears had run down and he poked at it with his finger.

Carol looked at him and her heart melted. "He's gorgeous, Santana."

"He knows it as well," she laughed, inspecting the small cut on his lip which was growing fatter by the moment. "I think Auntie Rach is going to kill me if you don't look perfect in her photos. We need some ice for your lip, Tobes."

"Ice cream?"

"No, not ice cream. Ice to make the bump go away."

He sniffed loudly and Quinn handed another tissue to her wife. "Is he still bleeding, San?"

"I think its stopped. Its on the inside, but swollen." She dropped him back on his feet and wiped his eyes and cheeks. "Blow," she instructed, holding the kleenex to his nose. He wriggled and tried to escape, but she was having none of it and fought him to clean his face properly. "Better," she sighed and looked for a trash can taking the other messy tissue from Quinn.

"Boys will be boys," Burt chuckled.

"He's like Finn was at that age. Always getting into scrapes," Carol reminisced.

"How are you coping?" Quinn squeezed Carol's hand.

A sad smile spread across the woman's face. "I can't help thinking about him today, but I'm pleased for Rachel. It was time she moved on; we can't live in the past."

"No we can't. Sometimes it's nice to think about what might have been for our lives, but we can't get stuck in that or we wouldn't be able to function." The blonde squeezed again. "I'm glad you came."

"So am I. Everything is so beautiful," Carol gave a genuine smile. "I'm glad to see your family has grown too." She looked up at Santana then as well. "Take care of each other."

San ran her hand across Quinn's shoulders and the blonde leaned her head into her wife's ribs for a few moments. "We will," Santana replied.

After photos and food and speeches there was dancing and merriment. Tobias spent a lot of time sliding on his knees with some of the other kids, Beth danced a little, mostly because Rachel was insistent and treated her like she was an adult not a child. Santana and Quinn took a few turns on the dance floor but mostly people watched.

"Kinda crazy isn't it?"

Quinn glanced up from the drink she had been nursing so long, the ice had melted. "What is?"

"Just this. Being back here for Rachel's wedding like the intervening years didn't actually happen. Feels like we never left. Do you miss it?"

"Ohio?"

"Yeah, it's always going to be home isn't it?"

"I don't know how I feel about it, San. I didn't just grow up here remember."

"I forget that you only arrived for the last couple of years in high school. We never talk about San Francisco."

"For good reason. It's a past best forgotten."

"Why?" The Latina usually let it drop but not this time.

Quinn shrugged and boosted herself from where she had been slouching a little. "I was not always very nice and I wasn't honest a lot of the time. I don't want to think about that part of my life. I got lucky enough to turn it around and start again."

"I get that its all dark and mysterious," she gesticulated and made a face that drew a chuckle from the blonde. "I would still like to know about it though."

"I wanted to be part of the social elite and was willing to put aside my real feelings to fit in with those who were part of it. I did that for a lot of reasons; mostly to make my father happy, but also because I was taught that it was important to conform. Getting drunk and having sex was part of that. I never would have done that if I'd understood my behaviour better. When I moved here, I finally accepted who I really was and stopped trying to fit into the mould my father made for me."

Santana took her wife's hand and stroked the back of it, fitting her fingers along the grooves between the knuckles until their fingers were woven together.

"I get it Q; you don't want to waste energy thinking about people who made you become something that you didn't like."

Quinn nodded and turned to face her wife. "If I think about what makes me happy, its the things I've done since I moved here but even that isn't where I found myself. I found myself in a group of people, not a place. It doesn't matter where that is; it's who I'm with that matters. So you see, home really is where the heart is."

"That's so sweet I might actually puke from the saccharin," Santana laughed and found Quinn squeezing her hand, her hazel eyes crinkled with the smile.

"You know, you could actually say something nice for a change," the blonde quipped.

"No way; I have a rep to protect," she lifted Quinn's hand and placed it over her heart. "You're here for me. Enough said?"

Quinn's face melted a little. "Enough said," her voice cracked and she had to fight the tears from gathering.

—

April, 2025, Riverside, Connecticut

"What did your OBGYN say?"

Quinn was curled up on her sofa at home. Rachel was slumped beside her looking heartbroken. "We probably can't have children, well to be precise, I can't carry a child."

"Oh God!" Quinn couldn't stop tears forming. She poked at her eyes. "Rachel, I'm so sorry. Did you know this before…"

Rachel shook her head. "I had no idea. I never had reason to suspect there was anything wrong until we tried to get pregnant." The shorter woman looked down at her fingers and pressed them into her lap, taking a deep breath. "I was ovulating normally so there was no suspicion until we went to get tested. I feel so guilty that I'm the one to blame."

"Hey, no one is to blame, Rachel. Why would you say that? Is Jesse mad or something?"

Rachel shook her head vehemently. "No, he's disappointed but not mad. We talked about other options with the doctor but I don't know what to do. I had my heart set on having children and now I can't."

Quinn ran a hand up and down Rachel's arm in a soothing manner. "What about IVF?"

"I'm not infertile, the problem is with my carrying a child to term. We can have IVF but we would need a surrogate to carry the baby." A heavy sigh escaped Rachel's lips. "Its not like we can't afford that, but the emotional cost might just be too much. Look at my mother and the mess she was in because of it, besides I heard its a legal minefield."

Quinn nodded, finally understanding Rachel's dilemma. "So will you adopt or something?"

A shrug of the shoulders left Quinn confused about what Rachel did want. "Is that a maybe?"

"If we have no other option, or we just decide not to have children. Lots of people do and they have a good life, I just…."

"Set your heart on it?"

Rachel looked up and their eyes met. "I thought I was done with heartbreak; I've had my share of it. Finally being able to move on and falling in love again, it was only natural to think good things, but this has floored me and I would never have guessed."

Quinn bid her friend goodbye shortly after the news and was still reeling when Santana arrived home later that day. The Latina knew instantly that something was wrong.

"S'up? You look like you saw a ghost."

"Rachel was here earlier," Quinn replied as Santana dropped her bag and took off her coat.

Her wife suddenly focussed. "I didn't know she was coming to stay, I thought she was recording an album in New York?"

"She is. I didn't know she was going to come over, she just turned up mid-afternoon. She left an hour ago."

"Something's up isn't it?" Rachel wasn't in the habit of paying flying visits; she usually came to stay for a while and they always knew when because she would send a note in the post, old-fashioned but convenient.

Quinn nodded slowly. "She's had some bad news. She and Jesse must have been trying for a baby and they weren't succeeding so they went to see a specialist."

"Jesse firing blanks?"

"San!" Quinn admonished.

"Sorry, I just thought he might be. Theatrical types and all that."

"Actually its Rachel that can't get pregnant, or rather she can but can't carry a child. I wasn't too clear on the actual reason why, she didn't go into detail."

"Shit!" Santana placed a hand over her mouth, suddenly wondering about Tobias and hoping he didn't overhear.

"He's with Beth upstairs," Quinn put her out of her misery.

"So what are they going to do?"

"I don't know, but she was completely deflated, like devastated. She told me a while ago that she wanted a family. I thought she just wanted to get married and settle down with someone she loved, but I actually think she had her heart set on kids as well."

"Maybe they can adopt?"

"They're thinking about it, amongst other things."

"Makes you appreciate our two, doesn't it?"

Quinn nodded and gave her wife a soft smile. "Yeah, we're pretty lucky like that."

—

"We are actively seeking a surrogate," Rachel confirmed. Jesse squeezed her hand as she explained to Santana. She looked at him gratefully and returned it.

Santana blew a whistle through her lips.

"What?" Rachel got immediately paranoid. "You think its a bad idea, don't you?" It had been a couple of months since she had found out about her fertility issues.

"No, just … are you sure that's what you want. The whole thing with your mother and shit."

The four of them were at dinner in Manhattan celebrating Rachel and Jesse's first anniversary with the couple.

"I think it will be fine so long as you choose carefully. Someone who's done it before without issue maybe?" Quinn was the voice of reason.

"We aren't panicking or anything," Jesse said. "It's not like we're old and grey. We have plenty of time to find the right person."

"Exactly," Rachel breathed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, just you know, worried for the two of you."

Rachel reached across the table and patted Santana's hand. "Thank you for being concerned. I'll let you vet whoever we choose, how's that?"

The Latina's face lit up at the prospect.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Are you really sure that's a good idea, Rach?"

—

"I want to ask her at least." Quinn had her arms crossed as she defended her position.

"Why you? Q, I swear you'll be death of me."

"You're being ridiculous and over-protective."

"I am not!"

"You are!"

"Okay, well so what if I am. You're my wife and I'm entitled."

Quinn sighed. "She's my best friend and she wants this so much. Why is this such a big deal? We've both had kids. We know what that means to someone. Why wouldn't you want that for Rach?"

"I do, but just not you doing it."

"Why not me?"

"You know why." Santana wouldn't actually let the words out.

Quinn's eye's narrowed. "I don't know why. It will be inconvenient for a few months, but that will be it."

"How can you say that?" Santana huffed and placed both hands on her hips. "It's risky for you. What about your meds and everything else?"

"Lots of women with spinal cord injuries have babies. It's not that much of a risk, besides, I think its worth it."

Santana ground her teeth together and shook her head. "Fine, but you get checked over by a specialist first and unless they give you a full bill of health, I'm putting my foot down. And if its not safe with the meds, I'm also putting my foot down!"

Quinn rolled closer and took San's hand. "If you put both feet down, you'll fall over," Quinn gave her a cheeky half-smile, but received only a scowl in return. "Thank you for understanding." She squeezed and waited for the response. It took a moment but she felt her wife reciprocate.

"Berry had better be grateful and she better not sing at me for letting this happen."

—

December 2025, Manhattan

Quinn was accompanied by her entourage as they entered the New York Fertility Institute. She was a little nervous, but not so much that she wanted to turn and roll away.

"You know you can still change your mind, right? We won't think any worse of you for it." Rachel wrung her hands together in nervous excitement. "We'll always be the best of friends no matter what and I wouldn't want this to come between us."

"Jeez, stressed much," Santana rolled her eyes.

"It's fine, San." Quinn stopped her chair and pulled Rachel closer. "I want to do this for you guys. It was me who offered remember?"

"I know but …"

"But what?"

"It's just," Rachel sighed, "I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you as a consequence."

Quinn eyed her wife. "Did you say something?"

"Nope, Q. Not a word."

Rachel was confused. "I just read a few things and I don't want to put you in any danger."

Quinn was the one rolling her eyes. "I am perfectly healthy and capable of getting pregnant. I've had every check possible and they all came back fine. Will you all stop fretting about me, please."

Rachel looked down at her shoes. "I wasn't, just wanted to let you know you can pull out still if you are having second thoughts."

"I'm not. I am a little nervous, but that's to be expected. Let's all just calm down and go see the specialist."

She led the way into the centre and the process of trying to give Rachel and Jesse a family began.

—

Quinn was enjoying spending time in Manhattan. It was such a great city for photography that she spent a lot of time roaming the streets and exploring buildings for interesting views. She was happy enough staying with Rachel and Jesse until the follow-up tests to check if the treatment had worked, but she missed San and the kids. They had work and school so they'd left her behind, still it wouldn't be long before she would be back home again, hopefully expecting a child; one that would bring a lot of light into her best friend's world.

What was it someone had said about her? That she was probably the most fertile woman in Ohio. Turns out it was true. They hit pay dirt on the first attempt. It had been a risk, trying to decide on one or two eggs being implanted, but in the end one was enough and that's what they went for.

It was going to be a long eight and a half months though. Rachel was super-concerned and if you asked Santana, more annoying than usual and certainly more than she was willing to accept. After the third phone call in a week to check on Quinn once she was back home, the Latina took matters into her own hands.

"Listen up, dwarf. I know this is your kid and you are worried about it and Quinn, but you have to chill out. You're going to make them and yourself ill if you keep up the relentless checking. Plus, I am likely to pay you a visit and go all Lima Heights on you if you carry on."

Rachel had remained quiet at first.

"I'm sorry, Santana. It's just that I'm really worried something will go wrong and I really am just as worried about Quinn. Maybe I shouldn't have let her talk me into this, because the last thing I want is for her to get sick or even too tired and maybe have an accident…"

"Jeez, Rach, enough!"

"Sorry."

"You said that already. She's fine, the kid's fine, the only one who isn't is you."

A heavy sigh followed. "I know that, in more ways than you can imagine." Rachel wished more than anything, she didn't have to rely on a friend to get her what she wanted.

San softened some. "I get that you're nervous, but at least you know Q isn't going to run off with the baby and leave you heartbroken."

"I know," the diva replied. There was genuine gratitude in her for that. "And I know that this is inconvenient for you and your children too. I will owe you all afterwards."

"Don't think I won't hold you to that either," a chuckle emerged from the Latina.

Rachel grinned. "I know that as well and I won't mind even a little bit."

—

"I guess there are advantages to living near one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country," Rachel grinned as the four friends entered the maternity wing of Yale-New Haven University Hospital.

Quinn's pregnancy was considered high risk so the delivery had to be in a major centre not their parochial hospital in Stamford. Despite the risks, the pregnancy had been unremarkable and she had sailed comfortably through to seven and a half months until the bump had become somewhat cumbersome. Still, Quinn had taken the extra help offered by her friends and agreed to take things easy. At eight months, everyone became a little twitchy and Rachel arrived to stay for the remaining two weeks. At which point she called Jesse and told him to get himself to New Haven quickly, as the planned C-section was happening soon.

They took Quinn in two weeks before the due date as planned and it took very little time for the birth. The prospective parents were there to see it happen and it took very little time to find a name for the healthy little boy.

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Of course, I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise."

"But…"

"But what?"

"It's just that it would be a constant reminder," Rachel sighed. "I don't know that I want that for either of us. I mean it in the nicest way but we were engaged at one point."

"I'm not jealous, Rachel."

"Really?"

"No, that's why I suggested it. He's an important part of your past and it would be nice to celebrate that."

"You're so generous to suggest it, but you're right about it being the past and our son is the future, so although it would be nice to call him Finn, I'm going to say no."

Jesse shrugged. "Funny, I thought you'd like that idea."

"Part of me does, but not the part of me that loves you more than anything. We have moved on and I said my goodbyes a long time ago."

Jesse smiled softly. "Then what are we going to call him?"

"I'm not sure about a first name yet, but I decided on a middle name and Finn just wouldn't go with that."

Jesse glanced at her with curiosity and then the penny dropped. "Oh, I get it now." He smiled in recognition. "Yeah, you're so right. Can't have Finn as a first name with that as a middle name."

—

"So come on, short-stop. Get on with the big reveal," Santana was stretched out on Quinn's bed in the hospital, her wife tucked into her side.

Quinn elbowed her in the ribs. "San!"

"Sorry but we've been kept in suspense for twenty-four hours and they get to go home with junior before you. I'm not a patient person."

Rachel chuckled. "I know we kept you waiting but we found it harder to pick a name than we anticipated."

Jesse handed off the baby boy to Quinn. "Obviously thanks will never repay you for what you've given us, so we wanted at least some gesture that seemed more fitting as you won't accept anything tangible from us."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I already explained why I wanted to do it, Jesse. I don't want anything in return except to know that you will be amazing parents."

"And I promise we will, but at least we want our son to know who he owes his existence to, so drum roll please….."

Rachel tapped her hands, in an attempt to comply with Jesse's wishes, on the rolling table still bearing the remains of Quinn's half eaten breakfast.

"We would like to introduce you to your Godson… Joel Quinn St James, ta-da!" Jesse added a flamboyant wave for emphasis.

Quinn's face melted and Santana had a huge grin suddenly. "Perfect," the Latina nodded and brushed her fingers across the baby's smooth head.

"I guess it's not just a girl's name, is it?"

"No, that's what I thought, because there's that song, ' _The Mighty Quinn'_ ," Rachel started.

"I get it Rach," Quinn interrupted. "And thank you for the gesture. It means a lot."

"Jesse actually suggested we call him Finn, which was very sweet of him, but I wanted something that looked to the future and not the past."

"And Finn Quinn was never going to work," Jesse grinned.

"No and that part of our lives, no matter how important, is history and it should just be left alone now." Rachel reached over and gripped Jesse's hand and squeezed it. He leaned down and kissed her.

Santana whispered into Quinn's ear while the other couple were distracted.

"I think I might like your new nickname, Mighty Quinn," she winked.

A sharp elbow followed the comment. "San!"

"What? I love it actually. I'm going to download the song from iTunes right now."

"Lopez," the warning tone in her wife's voice was evident, but so was a half smile on her lips.

"Oh come on, Fabray. You love it really."

Quinn's face softened as she nodded to her best friend. "Take the baby for a moment," Quinn handed him over to Rachel. She turned back to Santana and beckoned her closer. "I don't know about the nickname, but I do love you," she admitted and with a confident tug of her wife's clothing, she pulled her into a soft kiss.

The End


End file.
